Demons
by Queenbeth2
Summary: Edward Cullen has a secret that only Carlisle knows. A secret about how he came to be in the hospital with influenza. A secret that is coming back for him that will change everything he has ever known. EdwardXBella. Angsty and dark.
1. Chapter 1

DC: I don't own Twilight.

Summary: Edward Cullen has a secret that only Carlisle knows. A secret about how he came to be in the hospital with influenza. A secret that is coming back for him. EdwardXBella. Angst.

Chapter 1,

Chicago 1918

"Save him,"

Carlisle heard that a lot. He looked at the chart on the end of the bed. Elizabeth Mason, age 36. She looked at him with pleading, vivid green eyes. "I'll do what I can," Carlisle promised. She was going to die. There was nothing he could do. He turned to leave but the woman grabbed his wrist.

"Please," Elizabeth pleaded, "don't let him go."

Carlisle smiled warmly at the woman. He pulled his wrist free and gave her hand a comforting squeeze. "He won't die," he promised. He wouldn't, but moments later, Elizabeth did.

Edward Mason practically blended with his pale sheets. Carlisle looked at him with sad eyes. Seventeen-years-old. Still so young. "Hello, Edward how are you today?"

Edward looked at the doctor with tired eyes. Green, like his mothers, but dull and lifeless, "I'm fine, sir," he said in a quiet monotone voice.

"Edward," Carlisle said sitting in the firm wooden chair beside the bed, "I have some bad news."

The teenager looked out the window at the dreary Chicago landscape. It was raining. Carlisle wondered briefly if he already knew. If somehow the boy understood without being told that he was alone in the world.

"Your mother has passed."

"I know," Edward muttered. "Where will you take me?"

Carlisle sighed. He stood and put a hand on Edward's head. "Where would you like to go?"

--

Forks 2008

Edward Cullen had a problem. A big problem. A big, bulky, vampiric problem. Emmett Cullen was chasing him through the forest around their house.

"Don't be such a sore loser!" Edward called.

"You cheated you little twerp!" Emmett snapped.

"All is fair in love and war!" Edward taunted with a satisfied smirk. He was faster than Emmett and more agile.

"Yeah, I suppose you're right."

Edward only had a moment to register what he said before he crashed into the hard wall that was Jasper and Alice.

"All is fair in love and war, right Edward?" Emmett asked.

Bella and Esme were sitting in the living room watching a movie when the boys returned with a giggling Alice. "Hey Alice, do you see Edward sitting comfortably in the future?" Jasper asked between laughs.

Edward limped into the room. "You...ass...I...will...get...you..."

"Emmett, sweetie what did I tell you about that," Esme sighed. "You can actually do some damage."

"Don't worry Esme, Eddie will be fine."

"Don't...call...me...Eddie," Edward seethed.

"It's not like he's _using _it anyway," Emmett said with a shrug. Jasper snickered, Alice giggled and Esme rolled her eyes.

"I'd rather you kept it intact though, for later," Bella said over the rim of her mug of tea. The reactions of the room were priceless. Emmett was on the ground howling with laughter, Esme was trying with all her might to keep from laughing, Jasper was leaning on Alice for support as waves of laughter crashed through him and Alice was in tears.

Edward scowled at Bella. "Not helping," he grumbled.

Carlisle walked by the scene with a sigh and a smile. "You know Emmett, it would be better if you just admitted that he got you good."

"Shut up!" Emmett yelped.

"How far did you get it this time?" Roselie asked from the stairs.

"Almost tore the undies," Emmett said proudly. "And in case you were wondering, Bells, he still wears tighty whities."

"EMMETT!"

"Don't worry, Edward, I'm sure she isn't dating you for your undies," Alice teased. "Let this be a lesson, Bella, Emmett gives the worlds worst wedgies."

Emmett grinned and Edward tried to dislodge the wedgie. Bella came up to him and hugged him, still giggling.

"It's fun to see you guys act like siblings," She said.

"Well I'm glad that someone...OH SWEET JESUS!" Edward finished with a yell and the sound of something ripping.

"Wedgie solved!" Emmett declared proudly, holding Edward's torn underwear by the elastic.

"It was one arm wrestling match! Don't you think you've taken the punishment too far?"

"You only won because you cheated."

"Yeah, because there are really grizzlies _this _close to home. You were the one thick enough to fall for it!"

"Now boys, that's enough," Esme said with a gentle motherly expression.

"Fine," Emmett grumbled.

After the excitement was finished Edward and Bella went up to his room. He sat on his sofa and pulled Bella into his lap. "The big day it coming up, are you excited?" he asked.

Bella leaned into his chest and smiled. "Actually, yeah, I am."

"Alice wants to start setting up the reception hall," Edward sighed. "This whole wedding is getting...I dunno."

"Cold feet?" Bella asked.

"And hands, and arms, and legs..."

"Shut up you know what I mean!" Edward grinned and kissed her cheek.

"Yeah," he admitted, tightening his arms around her, "I'm excited about it, but I'm also waiting for you to come to your senses and leave me."

"Tempting," Bella replied lightly, "but I've already sent out the invitations and I suppose you're cute and all."

Edward laughed and kissed her lightly on the lips. "I pale compared to you," he whispered shifting so she was on her back with her arms around his neck. Bella brushed her socked foot against his and he let out an uncharacteristic giggle. Bella grinned and slipped from under him. She brushed her nails against the sole of his foot and Edward laughed.

"Stop!" He cried laughing.

"Aw, why? Vampires aren't ticklish are they?"

Edward gave her a look, challenging her. Bella dragged her nails against his foot again and he laughed. Within the minute they were on the floor rolling around, tickling each other and laughing. They finally stopped, Bella was breathless and Edward was still laughing. She looked deep into his eyes.

"Edward, I'll love you forever."

"You'll be the most beautiful vampire in the world," Edward said caressing her face, "I'll never understand while you chose me."

Bella lowered her lips to his. One more week and she'd be his wife. One more week before she'd be able to tear the clothes from that perfect body and give him everything. Edward slid an arm around her waist and looked at her. "Beautiful Bella. That's what I should nickname you."

"Bells is fine," she told him, slipping away and standing up. Edward sighed and followed.

--

For the reception Alice was going to put together a compilation of pictures through the years. Edward didn't have many baby pictures, or pictures from his childhood, but Renee and Charlie forked over the stash, much to Bella's embarrassment.

The pictures arrived that morning with Renee and Phil. There was going to be a large family dinner, as the Cullen's hadn't met Bella's mom and stepfather. Esme took full advantage of the opportunity to be maternal and spent the day in the kitchen. Bella, much to her surprise, found herself wanting to help.

"It is such a beautiful ring," Esme said nodding towards Bella's hand.

"I was nervous to wear it at first," Bella admitted, cutting potatoes, "I mean it felt like such a huge weight."

"Well, getting married is a big step," Esme sighed, stirring flour and sugar for what would be a beautiful cake. "When Carlisle asked me to marry him...oh it was wonderful."

"What happened?" Bella asked, tipping the potatoes into a bowl.

Esme grinned and tossed her beautiful hair out of her eyes. Bella was sure that if she had been able to, Esme would have been blushing.

"Well, it was about a year after he bit me. I was calming down and settling into life as a vampire. One night we went walking by a lake we lived near at the time. He was so nervous. He was trembling a little. We had been in love for a long time. In fact that was why he changed me. I was dying from an infection from injuries. He promised me everything I desired and eternal love," Esme sighed happily. "His voice was so shaky, he was so nervous."

"She exaggerates you know," Carlisle said from behind us, his arms circling Esme's waist. He rested his chin on her shoulder and rocked softly. "I wasn't _that_ nervous."

"The way you two behave, you'd think you were married yesterday," Bella said with a smile. Carlisle closed his eyes and sighed happily.

"Edward is the same with you," Carlisle promised.

Bella blushed and went back to the potatoes.

--

"You know it really isn't fair," Bella huffed as yet another picture from her babyhood flashed on the screen.

"What?" Edward asked.

"You don't have embarrassing baby pictures."

"Well, sweetie, I lived a century ago, my family didn't really take pictures."

"That's no excuse," Bella whined, "surely Carlisle had at least one twisted fiber in his body that demanded satisfaction by snapping embarrassing shots of you!"

"Hah, no. Carlisle hates getting his picture taken and taking them."

"But surely Esme, or Alice would!"

Edward's lack of response told Bella that they had. It was probably Alice. The thought had barely crossed my mind when a picture of Edward, pinned under a bear with Emmett laughing in the background faded onto the screen.

"I think I may hurt her," Edward grumbled. Bella laughed. Another picture came up, this one in a hospital. Edward was looking at the camera with dull green eyes. His left arm was in a plaster cast, and his right shoulder was bandaged. There were bruises on his cheek and neck.

"What's that from?" Bella asked.

"Back when I was human," Edward muttered. "I don't want to talk about it."

Without another word he stood and walked out.

TBC

Review! I'll try to update soon!


	2. Chapter 2

DC: I still don't own it.

Thank you to my reviewers!

Just a fair warning this is a dark story. There will be some lighter moments here and there but generally this is an angsty fic.

Chapter 2,

"Carlisle? Do you have a moment?" Edward asked quietly from the doorway of his father's office.

"I have an eternity of moments," Carlisle replied lightly. Edward gave a small smile. "What's on your mind?"

Edward didn't speak right away, he sat down on the edge of the desk. Carlisle went back to his paperwork. He had gotten through a whole document before speaking again. "I can't read you're mind, you'll have to speak sometime."

"Do you ever think about what might have happened if you never changed me?"

Carlisle was taken back by the blunt question. He put the papers aside and leaned on his elbows.

"Edward," he began stiffly, "I can't guess what would have happened if I had let you die in that hospital. If I had released you to your father after your mother died. But what I do know is that you have brought so much joy to me."

"Do you think I would have survived the sickness?"

"Yes," Carlisle said finally, "but you would have died from something else, and most likely very shortly after."

Edward didn't respond to that. He looked at the stacks of books on the walls. He was distracted until he felt an icy stone hand on his. "Edward, I do not regret taking you with me. You have made my life wonderful. All of you have. I love you dearly, son."

"Thanks, dad."

"Now what brought this on?"

"Just some photographs," Edward mumbled. "I should probably get back to Bella. She'll wonder what I am and what I did to get so injured that time."

"What are you going to tell her?" Carlisle asked.

"I fell down the stairs, remember?"

Carlisle nodded.

--

It was the first night in a long time that Bella and Edward had the house to themselves. Emmett and Roselie were out of state enjoying a romantic spa adventure. Jasper and Alice were out hunting and Dr. Cullen was enjoying the night with his wife at the hospital's 100th anniversary party.

Edward was delighted to spend the night alone with his fiance, and even more delighted when she agreed to watch a scary movie. When the axe murderer suddenly appeared on screen, Bella screamed and clung to him.

Yes, Edward loved that part.

After the movie, Bella clicked off the t.v and turned to face her fiance. "So, what did you think?" she asked.

"I enjoyed it," Edward said with a grin, "those scary parts that made you scream were great."

"Shut up," Bella grumbled. She nuzzled deeper into his embrace and smiled against his chest. "I can't wait to marry you."

"Remember when you used to be so scared of the idea of marriage?"

Bella smiled and nodded. "Looking back, I don't know why it was so scary."

Edward kissed her forehead and hugged her tight. "I can't wait to spend forever with you."

"Forever is indeed a long time."

Edward jumped at the sound of the strange voice. He held Bella tighter to his chest as he searched the darkness for the owner of the voice. Just to the side of the large window was a man, just a little taller than himself with bronze colored hair.

"Perhaps you should think about that promise before you make it," the man continued stepping forward. His skin was illuminated by the moon, pearly white and glittering slightly. Edward shifted, moving in front of Bella in a quick and fluid movement.

"Silly boy, you know humans are nothing but food," the man teased.

"What do you want? Who are you?" Edward demanded.

"Don't you recognize me?" the man asked, stopping just before the two. Edward was standing now. He looked up at the man. The man looked like he was in his mid thirties, forty at the latest. Edward's swift eyes took him in and he grew, if possible, even paler.

"You're supposed to be dead," Edward breathed.

"As should you," the man said. "But then again, I suppose children think they will outlive their parents."

"You're not my parent," Edward hissed. "My father is Carlisle Cullen."

"Now, at least. My deepest pity for him, to have an arrogant brat such as you."

Edward Masen looked at his son. Bella's head was reeling. Edward and Elizabeth Mason died of sickness in 1918, according to Carlisle and Edward. For a moment Bella wondered if that was just something Edward had told her. But then again, why would he lie about his father's humanity?

No, Edward Cullen had no idea his father was a vampire before now. But he was most likely thinking the same thing Bella was. Who changed Edward Mason into a vampire? Surely it wasn't Carlisle.

"So you survived the sickness by bribing a vampire," Edward growled. "100 women in exchange for eternal life. That was the price of your soul?"

"I see you can read my mind. I thought as much. You were always a very perceptive child."

"Edward," Bella murmured, grabbing his hand. He gripped her fingers tightly. So tight she was sure one of them would break. But she didn't dare tell him. She could feel his emotion through his grip. Fear. Staring into the blood red eyes of his father, Edward Cullen was scared.

Bella could see his mind racing. Did he run for it? Did he stay and fight? Victoria had been nothing for him. Would his father be the same? Whatever it was that kept him rooted to the spot, Bella didn't know and she had a feeling that it was something Edward never _wanted_ her to know.

"What was the price of _your_ soul boy? Hm? Did you beg the blonde doctor to save you. You let your mother die."

"No!"

"How much convincing did it take?" Masen asked. "Or did you pay him off?"

"Carlisle changed me because mom wanted it," Edward snapped. "She wanted to save me!"

"And what a waste. You were never worth saving. You should have died in that hospital. You should have never been born!"

"STOP IT!" Bella screamed. Both Edwards looked back at her. Edward Cullen looked at her with wide terrified eyes and Edward Masen looked livid.

"Excuse me?"

"Stop tormenting him," Bella said, almost pleading, "just stop!"

"How precious," Masen growled. He took two steps forward and hit Bella, hard, across the cheek. She fell back and Edward flew at his father. Masen grabbed Edward's neck and threw him with enough force to send him through two walls. Edward crashed against the third wall with a loud crack and stumbled slightly before a vice-like hand grabbed the back of his neck and pressed him into the wall.

"You're a quick one," Masen said. "I'll remember that _next time_." As he spoke he threw Edward back through the damaged walls.

"EDWARD!"

"Bella...go...now..." Edward stammered. Something had broken in his shoulder, but he wasn't sure what. Masen was beside him. He stepped on his son.

Edward felt his father's weight on his back and struggled. There was no way this man was so strong. Before he could do anything he was flying towards the piano. His hard-as-stone body crashed into the piano, making a loud crash. His head cracked against the back wall.

Edward Masen grabbed his son's neck and lifted him. "Sleep," he growled. He leaned forward and sank his teeth deep into Edward's hard skin. Edward screamed in pain as his father released venom into his body.

"There," Masen said stepping back. Edward fell to the ground. He could hardly move. The venom was spreading through his body, causing painful paralysis. He crawled towards the terror frozen Bella.

Masen reached down and grabbed Bella's arm. She yelped as he pulled her up.

"Leave...her..." Edward couldn't finish his sentence. His throat was tight.

"She's lovely, for a human. A perfect fiance, but an even better snack."

"N-no!" Edward gasped.

Bella had tears in her eyes. Masen pushed her shirt from her shoulder and smelled her skin. "Lovely," he purred before sinking his teeth deep in her skin.

Bella screamed and crumpled in his arms. He let her fall and Edward watched in horror as she hit the ground. She looked at him with wide scared eyes, sparkling with tears.

Masen reached down and dipped one finger in the blood seeping from the wound on her neck. He walked over to Edward, who was now completely frozen, and lifted him.

"Something to remember her by," he purred, dragging the blood across his bottom lip. Edward could only look at Bella through the corner of his eye and smell her sweet blood on his lip. His father lifted him like a lifeless doll and carried him from the house, leaving Bella crying in pain on the raised platform that once held the grand piano.

--

All in all Carlisle considered the night a success. The hospital got a new wing, the celebration was wonderful and Esme had never looked lovelier. It wasn't often that he got precious alone time with his wife. Sure they weren't alone, but the kids were off by themselves. Carlisle loved his children dearly but sometimes he did get a little tired of keeping them from blowing up the house.

"Tell me Dr. Cullen what are you thinking?" Esme asked in the soft purr of a voice that was saved just for him.

"I'm thinking about the way your eyes sparkle in the light," he replied. Esme raised an eyebrow. Carlisle grinned and brushed her ear with his lips, "and how there are empty hotel rooms...with large beds..."

"It would seem the good doctor had an agenda of his own," Esme teased. She curled her arms around her husband's neck and pressed closer. "How about I go fetch my wrap, and you get the room."

Carlisle was a man of unlimited patience, but this was one of the moments where it was running thin. The scent of his wife's hair was overwhelming and her seductive voice was overpowering his ability to remain logical.

"I'd say it's a perfect plan."

They broke and went their separate ways. Carlisle discretely swiped a key and disappeared. Esme followed his scent to a room tucked out of the way. It was going to be a perfect night indeed.

Of course things didn't always go to plan. Carlisle had just finished giving his wife a soothing back rub and was working on her delicate shoulders when Alice burst into the room.

"Carlisle...ohmygodIamsosorry!"

"What is it?" Jasper asked.

"My eyes are burning from their sockets!" Alice moaned. Jasper had sense enough to close the door while the two got dressed. Carlisle emerged first, loosely dressed in his slacks and shirt, his tie and jacket forgotten.

"What is it?" He asked, trying not to sound as irritated and disappointed as he felt.

"Edward isn't answering his phone," Alice began.

Carlisle felt his eye twitch.

"Nobody is answering at the house either."

"Perhaps they went out," Carlisle suggested.

"The line is dead and I can't see anything."

Carlisle didn't say anything. He pulled out his phone and called Edward's cell. Nothing. He called the home number, after the fourth ring someone answered. Or rather, the phone stopped ringing and didn't go to voicemail. Carlisle could hear crying on the other end. He heard labored breathing and what sounded like someone struggling to grasp the phone.

That was enough. He snapped the phone shut and took off into the night with his wife and children hot on his heels. He didn't bother with his car. It was faster to run the half mile to the white mansion.

"Edward! Bella!" Carlisle called in a booming voice full of concern from the lawn. If this was a joke, he was going to strangle the boy alive. He walked in and froze at the sight before him.

"Oh no," Esme breathed.

Carlisle's eyes shifted from the hole in the wall to the smashed piano, falling finally on Bella.

"Bella!" He rushed to her side and gathered her into his arms. Alice and Esme joined him and Jasper hung back, the smell of the blood was too much.

"Bella, say something!" Alice cried.

"Kill...me...please..." she moaned. "Fire...I'm...burning."

Carlisle knew at that moment what had happened. He mumbled a quick apology before tearing her shirt down the middle. Sure enough, under the soft pink of her bra her skin was pale, it clashed painfully with her human flesh.

"Can you suck the venom out?" Esme asked.

"No, it's spread too far," Carlisle said darkly. "She'll die if I try."

"Edward..." Bella moaned.

"Where is Edward?" Jasper asked.

"She won't be able to answer until the transformation is done. She's too delirious right now."

Esme nudged her husband aside and took Bella into her arms. Carlisle looked at her and without a word he went to the kitchen and threw some ice into a towel. He came back and handed the bundle to Alice.

Bella's head rested on Esme's lap. Esme held her hand tightly, and squeezed comfortingly every time Bella cried out. Alice put the ice on Bella's burning forehead. Jasper got a blanket from the other room, trying to be useful. Alice took it with a warm smile and put it over Bella's legs.

"Jasper, could you bring me a book?" Carlisle asked.

"What one?"

"I don't care, any book."

Jasper returned later with the first book he could find. Carlisle opened it and began to read aloud. His voice was soft and it calmed Bella slightly. Jasper saw her free hand groping for something...anything to hold. He knelt down beside her and took it.

Sometime in the three long days it took Bella to change Roselie and Emmett had returned. The Cullen family sat in the living room with Bella in the center. Roselie gave Esme a break and let Bella rest on her lap. Emmett and Jasper went out hunting. Bella would be thirsty when it all passed. They would have to feed her like a baby.

Roselie and Alice sang a soft lullaby in a soothing harmony while Carlisle held Esme in his arms as she tried not to cry.

TBC

Whew, now I'm going to bed! Night all! Review!


	3. Chapter 3

DC: I wish I owned it

Chapter 3,

Edward felt like he was made of stone. He was aware of being conscious and that was about it. It felt strange to be in darkness...or something like it...for a while. Did he dream? No, if he had he'd remember it. He closed his eyes but immediately opened them. Burned on the lids was Bella's face, twisted in agony and sadness as he was taken.

"You're finally awake."

"Where am I?" Edward asked weakly. He was laying on stone, that much he was sure of.

"We are in a bunker," his father replied. "The walls are thick enough to keep you right here. But not that you'll get the chance to escape. I never sleep and when I feel you're getting too strong I'll just give you a little more venom."

Edward didn't reply. He tried to move his hands to prop himself up but something was wrong. His hands were stuck. He pulled and failed to free himself.

"That rope right there is used to pull cruise ships into harbor. The name escapes me but by all means keep struggling. It'll be interesting to see what breaks first. The rope...or your wrists."

"I'm sure you'd love that," Edward grumbled. His commented was rewarded with his father's boot in his stomach. He wasn't winded, but it still hurt his already weak body.

"Be a good boy, and I might not drag this out as much," Masen said lightly.

"Drag what out?" Edward groaned.

"I am under the firm impression that this world would be so much better with you out of it," Masen said, his voice dripping with disgust and extreme dislike, "but you've been a bad child and you need to be punished."

Edward closed his eyes and fought back the shiver that crawled his spine.

--

"Who did this?" Carlisle asked. Bella looked at her hands, now marble white.

"He looked like Edward. He called himself his father," Bella answered softly.

Carlisle looked puzzled.

"He was a vampire too...obviously."

"You're sure?" Carlisle asked.

"I didn't bite myself," Bella grumbled.

"Well, we thought maybe Edward had. To save you. Much like what happened to Alice."

Bella hugged her knees. She was feeling a discomfort in her chest from not breathing. The family had been so busy caring for her that Esme was now cleaning her blood. The smell of her own blood made her thirsty but sick at the thought.

"I don't understand," Bella whispered, "he said his parents died of the influenza."

Carlisle remained silent. He sat by her to keep her from running out into the town. Emmett had returned with bottles of animal blood and was keeping them warm for her. Bella's newborn state had to be rushed. She was incredibly strong and was simply remaining calm because she wasn't breathing. If she smelled the blood of the humans in town she'd run after them, whether or not she wanted to.

"Edward was supposed to be here," she whispered sadly, one tear rolling down her cheek. They had planned it together. He would take her into the bedroom they shared and hold her tight, wrap her in a blanket and he would bite her and hold her until she was transformed. Then he would take her and show her how to hunt. Teach her how to be a vampire.

But instead she was alone with her new family. Alice came and sat beside her and put one arm around her shoulders.

"Don't worry," Alice said softly, "we'll find him and bring him back home."

Bella rested her head on Alice's shoulder and sighed. She started crying again but she didn't really notice it. "Have you seen anything?" she asked hopefully.

"No, nothing. The only decisions whoever has Edward is making is what to do with him."

Alice didn't tell Bella what some of those things were, the girl was in pain enough as it was. But she could see. She could see Edward Masen planning how best to torment his son. She could see Edward deciding to look around the room, trying to help her in any way to find him. He decided to ask where they were and the result was a taunt. But still, Alice was thankful to her brother for trying. She knew they were in a bunker. That was all.

"That won't help us," Carlisle snapped quickly. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "I'm sorry, Alice, I don't mean to be so short. Can you find anything else?"

"No, sorry."

Carlisle patted Alice on the head and she smiled at him. He left the room and went into his study. He shut the door and went to his desk. He resisted the urge to put his fist through the wall. There had been enough damage to the poor house as it was.

He crossed the office in three strides and snapped a folder book from the shelves. It was a large leather book he kept tucked away for reference. Carlisle briefly wondered if it was for reference or a sick pleasure. He shrugged it off and opened the book.

On the first page was a photograph of the family as it was a few years ago. His own face smiled up at him with an arm around Esme's shoulders. His children looked up at him with grins (or in Roselie's case, a closed lip smile). Alice was sitting and Jasper stood at her outer side with a hand on her shoulder, Emmett mirrored his brother and Roselie her sister. In between the two delicate pairs of feet sat Edward, grinning with liquid topaz eyes and a splash of bronze hair.

Sadly, Carlisle turned the parchment page and looked at the photographs. They were of Edward. He was seventeen and had just been brought into the hospital. He looked like he was barely awake. His eyes were half lidded and very dark. One thin arm rested atop the blanket with a series of bruises stretching from his elbow to his shoulder.

Everything about the boy in the photograph screamed death. It was hard to believe that he was the same grinning teenager on the first page. There was an old file tucked in the pages. Carlisle picked it up and looked at it.

Name: Edward Anthony Masen

Age: Seventeen

Date of Birth: June 20, 1901

Date of Death: August 7, 1918

Reason for admittance: Severe bruising on left side of body. Malnutrition. Influenza.

--

Chicago 1918

"Edward, are you alright?" Carlisle asked. Edward hadn't spoken since he heard his mother died. Carlisle waiting patiently for anything, tears, sadness, words, anything. The silence was suffocating him.

"What did my mother say to you before she died?" Edward asked finally. He didn't look at Carlisle. He looked at the bread and soup the nurse had brought him moments before Carlisle came in.

"She asked me to make sure you were safe," Carlisle said.

"I see," the teenager muttered, tearing his bread. "I'm not hungry."

"Eat it anyway, you need your strength."

"I don't need to eat much," Edward mumbled.

"Don't need to...or can't?" Carlisle asked. Edward's eyes flashed and Carlisle knew he struck a nerve. "Edward, you will be released to your father."

"No!" Edward said quickly. "I mean...he's sick."

"You can be released to him, or I can take you away."

Edward looked at Carlisle. He could understand that the doctor was different. That much he was sure of. He had no idea that Carlisle was two hundred years old or that he was a vampire. He just knew he was different.

"Mom was the only one who even cared for me just a little bit," Edward whispered, "Dr. Cullen, was there anything else you could have done?"

Yes. Carlisle thought. "No. If there was I would have tried."

"You hesitated."

"Double checking my memory," Carlisle insisted. Edward raised an eyebrow.

"I suppose I believe you, even if I don't want to."

"I'm glad. It wouldn't do if a doctor went into medicine to kill people."

"If you were a vampire it would be perfect," Edward said with a shrug.

"Eat your soup," Carlisle said, standing. "I won't leave until you take at least three bites."

Edward obeyed almost instantly. He ate three quick bites and Carlisle smiled at him.

"That wasn't so bad was it?"

"No, sir."

That night when the hospital was sleeping, Carlisle walked into Edward's room and looked at the sleeping boy. His face was tightened in pain and he stirred slightly.

"Don't send me back," Edward breathed, "kill me first."

Carlisle walked to Edward's side and put a cold hand on his forehead. Edward pushed his head into the hand and sighed. He opened his eyes slightly. "He'll kill me for letting mom die."

"I suppose he will," Carlisle whispered. He grabbed Edward's chart. The warm August wind blew through the open window. "Close your eyes and stay still no matter what."

Edward was hesitant, but he obeyed. Something in Carlisle's voice told him everything would be just fine.

"Nurse," Carlisle called. A woman appeared almost instantly. He turned and looked at her and then at her pocket watch. "Time of death 2 a.m."

"Yes, sir."

The nurse looked at Edward for a moment with sad eyes before leaving. Edward looked up at Carlisle after she had left. "What now?" He asked quietly.

"Now, I keep you from dying."

--

Forks, 2008

Carlisle put the book away. Nothing had helped beyond bringing back memories that both soothed and upset him. Though he had a feeling that the memories did nothing to soothe him.

"Thank you, Jasper," he said.

"No problem," Jasper replied from the hallway. "Esme is crying in her room."

Carlisle nodded to no one and stood. He left for the bedroom where Esme was sitting alone in the dark. The moonlight came in through the window and glittered on her skin. Carlisle didn't speak. He walked to her and sat beside her. She didn't wait a second before moving closer, resting her head on his shoulder and taking his hand.

"What if we never find him?" Esme sobbed.

"I'll find him," Carlisle promised, "somehow I'll find him and bring him home."

"I never dreamed that Edward..."

"Nobody could have seen this coming. Not even Alice. Don't cry, Esme, please. I can't bear it."

"My son is missing, how can I not?"

Carlisle kissed her forehead. He closed his eyes and breathed in her soft scent. He heard the soft patter of feet and felt someone sit at his feet and his free hand was pulled around a set of narrow shoulders. He squeezed the small fingers holding his hand.

"Bella's cried herself into shock," Alice whispered, "Emmett is out destroying half the forest."

"It's okay, Alice," Carlisle murmured. Alice looked at him and his soft eyes told him she was safe. So she let herself cry. She sobbed into Carlisle's knee and felt the loving hands of her parents on her head.

"I can't see anything! I can't find him!"

"Let it out," Esme encouraged. There was no need to bottle the sadness Alice felt from her favorite brother's disappearance.

Downstairs Roselie sat with Bella, combing her hair gently in a strange sisterly way. "I'm sorry it had to be this way, I really am."

"Will Emmett be okay on his own?"

"Just in case, I've sent Jasper after him," Roselie said quietly. "You need to drink again."

Bella didn't protest this time. She accepted a bottle of blood from her new sister and drank it. The sooner she could adapt to the taste and smell of animal blood, the sooner she could resist human blood. Newborns fed more often than older vampires. It was like taking care of a baby without the diapers. She even had the constant crying.

Shortly after Esme came downstairs to take her turn with watching Bella. "How are you honey?"

"I have never been more miserable in my life."

Esme hugged Bella and kissed her forehead. Bella closed her eyes and imagined for a moment that it was Edward she was with, and he was safe.

--

Edward closed his eyes and saw Bella's face. It brought him comfort to see her smile. He was lost in a daydream until his father walked in, and reminded him that the dreaming would end.

TBC

I don't know how much longer I'll be able to put out chapters like this what with finals three weeks away. Oh well. And no, I don't hate Edward.


	4. Chapter 4

DC: Still don't own it...but I'll keep wishing

Thank you to my reviewers! You guys rock!

Not much for pre-story ramblings. Yay for it almost being Friday! Not so much yay for work later but still.

Chapter 4,

Edward had lost all sense of time. He never slept but he wished he could, at least then he would be able to get a grip on how time was passing. There were no windows so there was no sunlight. No clocks on the wall. Nothing to show that time was passing without him. He decided that of all things that would break him, it would be the insanity. He felt so overwhelmed by the idea that he had been trapped for days, weeks, maybe months. Years? No. Masen would get bored of him before a year.

Already he could feel himself slipping. How long had it been since he last hunted? A week before he was taken. But that did him little good without knowing how long he was here. The powerful thirst had started...a few days ago? It had been more than a week, he could be certain of that. But even that was a guess. For all he knew it could have just been a day.

No, he told himself, more than a day. His father had fed at least ten times. He had no idea how often Masen usually fed, but he remembered that human blood was very filling. Much richer than animal blood. From what he had heard, teenage blood was the best. He also heard a myth that the blood of virgins was also very delicious.

But now wasn't the time to think about blood. No. He had to think about something else. But what? What was there to think about in his stone prison? He had already counted the stone blocks that made up all four walls and the floor and ceiling. He had counted them several times and in a few different languages. If he thought about blood any longer he was most certainly going to go mad. He was so thirsty but snippets of memories from his human life told him that his father wasn't going to feed him any time soon. It was usually Elizabeth that fed him.

The faint memory of his mother's face brought him a rare calm. Beautiful Elizabeth Masen and her beautiful heart. She loved him. Someone loved him. He remembered her sitting in the warm kitchen making a small dinner. He had been eleven at the time and his father was away on business. It was like every holiday combined into one when Edward Masen was out of town. It happened so rarely but it was the only time the small family was at peace.

Chicago 1912

"Edward, could you bring mommy two bowls?" Elizabeth asked. Little Edward nodded and crawled up on the counter and grabbed two bowls.

"Here mother," he chirped. Elizabeth took them from him and filled each with hot soup with chicken and carrots from the garden in the back. She put the two bowls on the small wooden table and cut some bread.

Edward put the bread on the table when she was finished and got two cups of water. It was just the two of them for dinner. Elizabeth told him to sit at the table and he obeyed. He was an obedient child. Defiance was punished.

"Mommy why did you marry father?"

"I was young," Elizabeth said with a sigh. "But would you like to know a secret, Edward?"

Edward nodded and his mother smiled at him.

"It was you I was waiting for," she said, "a mother like me doesn't deserve such a precious little boy."

Edward hopped down from the chair and ran to his mother, giving her tight hug around her legs. Elizabeth knelt down and hugged him tight. "I don't deserve such a good mother," Edward assured her.

Elizabeth stroked his hair tenderly and let a few tears roll down her cheeks. Moments like those were few and far between. She wasn't to love anyone besides her husband. There was only enough room in her heart for him. Masen made sure to remind Edward every day of that fact.

But what everyone in the small family knew was that it wasn't Edward Masen that was the only one in her heart, it was his son.

2008

So he lied to Bella and said he had no memory of his human life. He lied to everyone in the family when he said he had no memory of human life. Only Carlisle knew. Carlisle knew everything. He knew about the abuse, about the neglect and about the powerful connection a son shared with his mother.

--

"I'm not going to pretend that you don't have secrets, Carlisle," Esme said quietly on a sunny afternoon. Sunny. Ironic. "You know more about who took Edward than anybody."

"Is there a question in there?" Carlisle asked mildly. Probably with a little more attitude than he had intended.

"What haven't you told me? About Edward?"

Carlisle wondered if the entire question was about Edward. He looked at Esme with tired eyes. She was dressed in a pink t-shirt and blue jeans. Her hair was spilling out of a messy ponytail. She carried herself like she had when he had first met her. Her body language screamed that she was putting on a front when inside she was crumbling.

"What do you want to know?"

"I want to know who has my son," Esme said firmly.

Carlisle sighed. They had been short with each other lately. Esme's eyes were dark with thirst but she refused to leave to hunt. Emmett was always out these days, bringing game back for the rest of them.

"His father," Carlisle answered finally. "His birth father, Edward Masen, has him."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"Yes, you do."

Carlisle looked her directly in the eye. Of course he knew. Or at least he had a great guess. The words couldn't form in his mouth. To kill Edward. That was what Masen wanted. That was what he always wanted. Elizabeth had told him that much when she lay dying. Edward's eyes told him just before he was pronounced dead.

"I don't know why his father suddenly showed up and took him."

Esme didn't buy it. Carlisle didn't blame her. It was a feeble lie. He didn't have the energy to keep up a face.

"If you don't want to tell me because it'll upset me then that's your decision. But you could have at least a little more faith in me."

With that, Esme turned on her heel and left. Carlisle ran his hands through his hair and threw the first thing he could grab, a cup of pens, at the wall. It exploded and left a dent in the wall. He stood sharply and left the room just as Esme was turning to go down the stairs.

"Esme, it isn't that I don't have faith in you."

Esme looked up at him. He leaned against the rail and looked down at her. "Carlisle, I'm not asking to probe your mind. We agreed when we married that we would keep some things private. I accepted that. But this is our son we're talking about, not some silly girlfriend from your past!"

"Silly girlfriend?" Carlisle repeated.

"Whatever!"

It was nice to see a little spark in her eyes. They had been cold for almost three weeks. "Edward and I..." Carlisle began but didn't know where to finish. "There are things about Edward's past that only he and I know."

"You aren't going to tell me, are you?"

"What would it matter?" Carlisle asked. He closed his eyes and winced at the reaction that would come. That had definitely been the wrong thing to say at a time like this.

"I suppose it doesn't," Esme said quietly. She hurried down the stairs in a way that told him loud and clear not to follow. So he didn't.

--

Emmett and Bella walked alone through the forest. He was teaching her to hunt. "You don't have to do this," Bella said feeling like a bother.

"No," Emmett said with a sigh, "I want to. Hunting takes my mind off of things."

"Everyone is acting like he's dead," Bella said angrily, "why? He's not yet! We can still find him!"

Emmett didn't respond. He sniffed and picked up a scent quickly. He wasn't really teaching her anything but she was getting cabin fever and he was strong enough to keep her from running off after the nearest hiker. Also, this was what he did to take his mind off of things.

"It's not that simple," he said finally in a low voice. "Jasper and I couldn't find a single trace of the scent. It was everywhere. Whoever took Edward...his father...has been a vampire long enough to know our strengths. He covered Forks with his scent. Hell he's covered Washington with his scent!"

"But..."

"I know you're worried Bella," Emmett said gently, "and believe me so am I. Edward is a quick little thing but strength wise he's average. He relies on strategy and speed to win. Me? I'm more brute force. Jasper is a strategist and he is also very powerful from years of training. Now that you're one of us you'll start to realize that we are just like humans. We come in all varieties. I mean I'm considered slow."

Bella looked him over and figured he was probably right. Someone of his size looked like he would be slow but would have unlimited stamina. They walked through the forest in silence. Bella was feeling a bit overwhelmed by all that she could hear.

"When the hikers come near don't hold your breath," Emmett said suddenly. "You'll never learn how to resist human blood if you don't smell it often."

"Carlisle said..."

"Yes, Carlisle is right that you'll get a taste for animal blood quicker with his method and already it is easier for you to resist, but it's one of those things you just have to experience. Like how you can't really learn a language fully until you're surrounded."

"You're going to..."

Emmett let out a laugh. "Hell no, we're not going to drop you into a high school until you're at _least_ a year old. That'd be suicide! Or rather murder...which ever."

He put his arm around Bella's shoulders and before she could question she smelled the sweet scent of the hikers. The smell was much more appealing than rabbit blood (which was what she tasted first due to the rush to get something) or grizzly blood. Edward was right. It was like a fine wine.

Without thinking she felt herself stray towards them. Emmett's strong arm tightened and she was pushed closer to him.

"See, what did I tell you?"

"I can't believe I thought about..."

"Lesson two of many," Emmett said, "get over it. Sounds harsh I know, but what else can I say? Humans are our natural food source. Just like when you were human you ate a hamburger. We're the vegetarians of the vampire world. You have instincts. Like a baby you have the instinct to feed. Only instead of milk it's blood."

"Why does it smell so good?"

"Why did a steak smell so good and vegetables didn't?" Emmett asked.

"I see," Bella muttered.

"I won't lie, Bells, it does suck for the first year or so but you get used to it and you feel better. Besides, you don't look good with red eyes."

"Do I still have them?" Bella asked.

"A little, just around the iris. They're a lovely shade of gold." Bella laughed and Emmett squeezed her shoulder in a hug. "Welcome to the family. You're gonna love it."

"Hey Emmett, there is always something I've wanted to know."

"Shoot," Emmett said, releasing her shoulders now that they were far enough away.

"Well, that night everyone voted on me being a vampire...what did Edward break?"

Emmett grumbled something about temper tantrums. "A sixty inch plasma t.v imported from Korea because it wasn't released in the united states. Don't worry," he added with a grin, "I got him back."

Bella smiled, so that was why Edward had been late the day after.

--

Forty one...yonjuuichi...dreiundvierzig...cuarenta y cuatro...forty five...

Yes. It would be the madness. Edward was one hundred percent certain. One hundred, hyaku, hundert, cien. Counting bricks was keeping his mind busy for a while, but it was starting to wear off. Soon Edward wasn't sure what brick his was on, only that he was somewhere in the sixties. He was just saying numbers now.

He closed his eyes and his stomach churned a little. He wasn't used to being so hungry.

"Eat your soup."

Edward's eyes snapped open. "Carlisle?" he breathed. He searched the room but there was nothing. His mind was playing tricks on him again. He decided his mind was cruel.

The good thing was that he was starting to get feeling back in his feet. The bad thing was that it meant the venom his father filled him with was wearing off, which meant Masen would be back from hunting soon.

Its not like he had the ability to go anywhere. His hands were still tied with impossibly strong rope. Not that it mattered any. Yarn could hold him now with how weak he was from hunger and fatigue. Edward didn't think vampires could ever feel tired. Maybe it was a state of mind.

--

When Masen was finished feeding he came into the stone prison and looked at his son. "You look pathetic, you know that." Edward didn't respond. "If you hadn't killed your mother I wouldn't be doing this."

Masen squated before Edward, resting his elbows on this thick thighs. "So what did you give the doctor to save you?"

Edward didn't look at him. He didn't move. Masen growled something and grabbed his son's hair. "Answer me when I'm talking to you boy."

Edward looked at his father. It was hard to believe that he was related to this man. This cold and empty man. He could answer. Maybe then Masen would kill him. It had been a while since Edward had hoped for death. In eternal sleep he wouldn't feel pain.

Yes. He would push his father to kill him. He had a short fuse, Edward just had to anger him enough. Remind him that he was the one cherished by Elizabeth, that it was her husband that killed her. Oh yes, there were many ways to push Masen over the edge.

_Edward, no, don't do that._

Bella? Here? Edward's eyes flicked across the room in hope.

_Please Edward, please stay alive!_

Edward didn't say anything and Masen hit him over and over.

--

Alice knocked gently on Carlisle's office door.

"Come in," Carlisle said from inside.

Alice walked into the office and looked at her father who was sitting by the window, his skin was shimmering dimly in the sun.

"Carlisle, when are we going to do something about finding Edward?" Alice asked.

Carlisle didn't answer. He barely acknowledged her. Alice didn't move. She folded her arms.

"Carlisle," her voice was louder and tighter, "what are we going to do about Edward?" she spoke slower and her voice got angrier with each word.

"Nothing until I know where he is, Alice dear," Carlisle said in an equally tight voice.

"Well we'll never find anything sitting around!"

"Patience, Alice, is a virtue!"

"I'll tell you where you can stuff your patience!" Alice snapped before leaving in a whirlwind of fury. Carlisle glared at the doorway but went back the window.

"I can't take this anymore!" Alice cried storming through the living room. Jasper and Bella looked at her. "Edward isn't going to find himself!"

"Where are you going?" Jasper asked, watching as Alice stormed out of the room.

"I have not decided yet! Where are my keys?!"

"In your pocket," Jasper said lightly. She jammed her hand into her pocket and fetched the keys for her yellow porche. "Where are you going?"

"East. Then West. Then North. I'm going to find my brother!"

"Carlisle said we can't leave until he knows where to go," Jasper reminded her. "Or at least until you've had a vision of his location."

"Okay this doesn't leave the group," Alice said dropping her voice so low that Bella and Jasper could hardly hear it, "but I don't think Carlisle is up to speed."

"He's under a lot of stress," Jasper sighed. "He and Esme are bickering."

"Parents are very protective of their children...usually," Bella reminded them.

"Whatever the reason, Carlisle is distracted by that and something else," Alice continued. She turned on her heel and crashed directly into Emmett.

"Leaving?"

"Don't try to stop me! It won't work!"

"For a fortune teller you aren't that great," Emmett sighed. He picked Alice up by the waist and carried her under his arm. It irritated her and he was in need of a laugh. "You kids comin' ?"

Bella and Jasper leapt up and followed Emmett into the garage.

"Guys wait!" Bella said slowing to a stop.

"Oh come on Bella, you of all people should be ready to leave!" Alice protested from under Emmett's arm.

"I never said I wasn't ready to leave. But I think we need to have a plan."

"I agree with Bella," Jasper admitted, "Alice, sweetheart, we need a plan."

"Fine, but can we plan away from _here_?!" Alice moaned.

The four vampires piled into Emmett's jeep and they sped out into the town. As they drove everyone remained quite silent.

"Chicago," Bella said suddenly. "Edward said he was born in Chicago!"

"Do you think Masen would take him _that_ far?"

Bella shrugged. "James went to Phoenix."

"Yes, but James was also after you," Jasper reminded her. "And that was where he could go to trick you."

Bella looked down and if she had been human she would have flushed. Jasper and Emmett chuckled.

"You do have a point though," Jasper said gently. "It would be likely that Masen would take him somewhere familiar."

"Chicago is really far though guys," Alice reminded them, "and I don't think the airlines would take very lightly to an unconscious vampire."

"What if he was conscious?" Bella asked. "What if he was going along with his father?"

"Why would he do that?" Emmett asked, looking at her in the rearview mirror.

"I don't know," Bella muttered to herself. She closed her eyes. She felt a wave of sadness and fear building in her chest. _Please, Edward, please stay alive_ she hoped with her whole heart.

_Bella, please, help me_

TBC

Whee that was long. Emo!Carlisle kinda freaks me out. .


	5. Chapter 5

DC: Still don't own it

Thanks to my reviewers you guys are great!

Whee Emo!Carlisle freaks out all! I'm glad people like this story, I was worried that it wouldn't be well received.

Updating is slow due to finals. Stupid tests! But they'll be over in a week so yayness!

Chapter 5,

Edward was startled when he realized that he actually waited for the times his father bit him and paralyzed him. Not only did it mean that he was alone, but it was the closest thing to sleep he had. When he was barely conscious, he was able to dream.

He dreamt about Bella. She was walking towards him surrounded by a cloud of white silk. They were alone in their meadow. Her hair blew in the wind and her eyes sparkled. "Edward," she whispered, "always and forever, my Edward."

"I'm yours," Edward murmured as she came to him. "I'm eternally yours, Bella my love."

He reached out to pull her safely into his arms, to feel the weight of her body against his. Her beautiful smile dazzled him. Just as he was about to pull her close she disappeared in a cloud of sparkles and blew away in the wind. "BELLA!"

"She can't hear you where she is," a dark voice said behind him.

"Bella! Bella where are you?!"

"You'll never see her again," the voice continued, "you'll die. I'm going to kill you. I'm going to torture you until you beg me to die. I will make you wish you were never born!"

"Edward I love you. You have always been my most precious boy."

"Mom?"

Elizabeth Masen was standing in the background with her arm around Bella. They both looked back at him and then walked into the darkness that suddenly surrounded him. "Mom! Bella! Wait!" Edward cried running after them. He was crying. He was seventeen...he was eleven...

"MOM PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH HIM! HE'LL KILL ME MOM! PLEASE!"

Elizabeth didn't turn to her son's screams. He was human. He was fragile. He was going to die.

--

When Edward woke up he wasn't a child. He was alone on the cold cement floor and he was still a one hundred year old man trapped in a teenagers body. But there was a child lying on his lap. It was a little boy. He was alive but unconscious. His clothes were ragged and torn.

"Eat up son," Masen said from across the room.

Edward didn't respond. He turned his head away from the boy. Masen chuckled and sauntered over to him. He squatted down and slapped Edward on the back of his head.

"You've been here for almost a month now," Masen told him, "that's a long time to go without feeding. You must be so thirsty. I'll bet your throat is dry and aching."

Edward wanted to stop listening. He could see the child's dreams. A simple dream about playing baseball on Mars. He focused on that.

"Your eyes are so black."

Edward didn't speak. He didn't know if he could anymore. He hadn't spoken in so long. Masen grabbed the child's hand and took out a knife. Edward's eyes widened.

"No!" He rasped. Masen stabbed the boy's palm and a trickle of blood began to ooze from the opening. "No!"

"Drink," Masen encouraged, "you need your strength. Think of it as mama's chicken soup."

"No!" He could see the blood. Not breathing wasn't enough. His body ached for the blood. He was so thirsty.

_Edward, please don't. Hold on._

Masen pulled his chair into the corner across from Edward and watched with a smug grin. He watched as Edward pushed himself away from the child.

Edward twisted against the ropes and they burned his skin from the friction. He backed into something hard, which turned out to be his father. "His mother's blood was so sweet and delicious. His will be too. It was so hot as I drank."

"No! I won't!" Edward protested, "I won't become you!"

--

The four vampires had stopped for gas. Bella and Alice sat in the car while Emmett pumped the gas and Jasper checked the tires. The two girls were cuddled together for comfort. Alice had been crying off and on. She could see horrific images in her head and each one tore at her heart.

Emmett was looking up at the clouded sky when he heard a loud cry. Jasper heard it too and they both looked into the car.

Bella was curled up crying as if someone was ripping her heart out. "Bella? Bella what is it?"

"No! He's just a boy! NO!" Bella screamed. Emmett, moving fast as lighting closed the gas tank and leapt into the car. He sped off to avoid unnecessary attention.

"Alice! What's going on?"

"I don't know I..." Alice paused. Her face went blank and she too started to cry.

"Edward..." Bella sobbed. She hugged herself as if she was going to fall apart.

--

Edward was laying on his back. Masen was gone again. He couldn't stop crying. The taste of the blood lingered on his tongue. The foul taste of the blood of an innocent child. It had been so hard to resist the blood.

The vampire within him was delighted to have fed again. Masen had laughed the entire time Edward fed. With every sip it became harder and harder to fight the tears. It felt as if someone was ripping his heart out. He had promised Bella that he wasn't like the other vampires. He had sworn to her that he would never taste human blood again, not after tasting hers to save her humanity.

Masen had forced him to look at his reflection in the mirror before he left. He had held Edward's head tight. "Look at yourself," he had said in his dark voice, "your eyes are like rubies."

And they were. Blood filled eyes.

--

"This has got to end," Esme said angrily storming into Carlisle's office. "You have been in this room for days. Enough."

"Leave me alone," Carlisle growled.

"Listen to me Carlisle, I have been willing to put up a lot. I'm hurting too. You aren't the only one who loves him. Think of what this is doing to Bella! Her fiance is missing and she was bitten by the man who took him! For the past month her heart has been breaking and she has been waiting for you to make a move."

"Esme I don't want to talk about this right now," Carlisle said.

"I don't care, Carlisle. I. Do. Not. Care. Have you even noticed that there is nobody here? You are so focused on Edward missing that you have forgotten that you have an entire family to look out for. You are my husband and you are their father. You may not have helped bring them into this world but they love you and they need you!"

"What am I supposed to do?" Carlisle cried. "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!"

"I want you to stop wallowing and DO SOMETHING!"

"Like what? Huh? I have no idea where to start! I have no idea of where they went!"

"Did that stop our children? Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Bella are gone! Roselie is sick with worry! I'm sure that if she had been here she'd be right with them!"

"Where did they go?" Carlisle asked.

"I haven't the faintest idea but I wish I were with them instead of here. They're out looking. They're starting in Chicago and moving from there. One of them has taken your credit card and they have just left."

Carlisle looked out the window. Chicago? Why Chicago?

"Elizabeth Masen died in Chicago," Carlisle whispered, "full circle."

--

Esme called Jasper from the passenger seat of Carlisle's car. "They're at the airport," Esme told her husband, "they'll meet us there."

She hung up and put the phone back in her pocket. "Oh, and start planning how you're going to get back into Alice's good graces."

Carlisle didn't reply. Esme folded her arms across her chest and looked out the window. It was raining. It had been raining a lot lately. It made her wonder if the world was crying for her son.

They had fought again briefly. Carlisle had told Esme to stay at home and wait with Roselie. Just in case Edward came back. Esme had responded to that with a giant heck no and they fumed at each other all the way to the car and for the past few miles.

Carlisle jammed his finger against the radio, turning it off with a small crack. He mentally grumbled. He would have to get that replaced. They rode in absolute silence almost the whole way to Seattle.

The silence was broken by a soft sigh. Carlisle looked over and saw Esme with her arms still folded and her eyes locked on the passing scenery. He saw a tear roll down her cheek. Followed by another. It was enough to make Carlisle melt. She dropped her arms and her pale hand rested on the leather at her side.

Carlisle reached over and took it. He slipped his fingers through hers and squeezed her hand. Esme looked up at him with her eyes full of tears. He raised his arm a little and silently invited her closer. She slid across the soft leather and into the safety of his arms. She fit perfectly against him. His arm, with their hands still locked, wrapped around her.

"I love you Esme," Carlisle said softly, "and I would die if I lost you."

"I know you want to keep me safe, but I can't sit by when our children are in danger."

Carlisle sighed in defeat. Not that it mattered. He wasn't going to dump her off. "I knew there was a reason why I married you."

Esme smiled and pushed herself closer. She felt the same pain in her heart that she had felt when her baby had died. The same empty pain that refused to leave. Her husband then had tried to comfort her, but never like Carlisle. He never held her close and let her cry. He had tried to tell her that the death of their son was tragic but she could make another one.

Edward wasn't dead. Or at least she hoped he wasn't. But the pain was still there, and Carlisle was there to absorb her tears when he could. It was also hard to see Carlisle in pain like this. He and Edward were so close they may have well been brothers. Edward looked at Carlisle like a friend and a mentor as well as a father. They had been close before she had met them.

"I don't mean to be so short with everyone," Carlisle said quietly. "I don't know what I'm doing, Esme."

"That's fine," Esme assured him. "What parent does? Darling you don't have to have a plan all the time."

"I have to get him back."

"Yes, you do. But you don't have to do all the work."

"Edward was horribly abused as a child," he told her, "when he came to the hospital he was severely underfed and very weak. His mother had brought him in after he had taken a nasty fall down the stairs. A fall caused by his own father. Edward stayed in the hospital for almost a year. He would go home for short periods of time but be back again with the same thing. Finally I stopped releasing him. At the time I had no idea why he was always so injured. His parents claimed it was a factory job, but I knew better from the look in Elizabeth's eyes."

Carlisle turned off of the interstate towards the airport.

"Around June Elizabeth came down with the sickness that killed her. She didn't want to leave the room Edward was in but I insisted that if she stayed he would get sick too. Edward senior came in a few times to see his son but each time he came Edward was silent and still, after he would leave Elizabeth would cry and cry. Finally she died. But moments before she begged me to save her son. I knew I could either ignore her request and eventually release Edward to his father's mercies, or I could strip away his humanity and give him eternal life.

"Edward was going to die. There were many causes. The constant abuse was one. With his mother gone there was nothing to keep Masen from killing him. Second, he was indeed very sick and had a rare condition brought on by his malnutrition. I saw the fear in his eyes and the heard the tremble in his voice and I knew what I had to do. So I called a nurse in, told Edward to lay still and announced the time of death."

Esme was very quiet. They arrived at the airport before she could even speak again. "Do you think that Masen is going to kill him?"

Carlisle nodded.

"You're sure?!"

"Positive."

"But Edward is a strong young man, surely he'd survive!"

Carlisle didn't say anything until after they had bought tickets and left for their gate.

"Edward is strong yes, but physically he is weaker and the mind can only stand so much."

"Carlisle! Esme!"

The two looked over and saw their vampires standing near the gate. Jasper and Emmett were standing on either side of Bella who looked extremely uncomfortable and Alice was sitting in one of the hard seats.

Esme ran to them and gave them all hugs. Carlisle looked at his watch and announced that they had about fifteen minutes left to wait.

"You kids will be the death of me," Esme promised. "Bella dear? Are you alright?"

"No," Bella mumbled. She allowed Esme to pull her into her arms. "The smell is really bad."

"You'll get used to it sweetie," Esme promised.

While Esme mothered the children Carlisle walked over to Alice. The small woman didn't look at him. She turned her head away and pretended to be very interested in the runway outside the window.

"Alice," Carlisle said softly.

"What?"

"I am very sorry for the way I acted," Carlisle said. "May I sit?"

"You're going to anyway so I don't see why not."

Carlisle sat and turned towards her. There was nothing to say. "Alice, will you forgive me?"

Alice sighed. They both knew it was impossible for her to stay mad at him. "I think I see myself deciding yes."

Carlisle smiled and gave her a hug. "I wish you would have told me you guys were going. I never thought to check here."

"It was Bella's idea," Alice admitted. "I was so upset I just wanted to go searching blindly."

Carlisle looked over at Bella who was being hugged to death by Esme. He smiled and turned back to sit normally. "Edward is a lucky man."

"Yeah, she's really great. But I can't help but think that she is unhappy...as a vampire."

"Well it was a very big change and one that I don't think she was ready to make just yet," Carlisle said folding his arms lightly. "You would know better than I would. You two were closer."

"I know that she and Edward had decided to wait until after..."

"The wedding?"

"Well...yes, but there was also something else they decided to try first. She said it was the one experience she wanted as a human."

"Well I suppose she'll be happy to know that it is the same as a vampire. Safer actually."

"First, ew, second I'm not going to bring _that_ up with her for a long _long_ time."

Carlisle chuckled and patted Alice's head. A male voice came over the speakers and announced the seating.

--

Eating once did absolutely nothing to settle Edward's hunger but it did a huge number on his heart. The after taste of the boy's blood made him sick. His body was still weak. His mind was beginning to slow.

"I didn't expect you to get much from that," Masen said with a grin, "just enough pain to help me break you."

"What have I done?" Edward asked, "what did I ever do to offend you?" His voice held the tears that had already fallen.

Masen didn't answer as usual. He stood up and walked over to Edward. Automatically, Edward drew back into his corner, waiting for a fist to the jaw or something. He was surprised when his father took his limp hands and sighed. He pulled him to his feet.

"Edward," He said in a strangely gentle voice, almost fatherly. "You are a stain on this world. You killed one of the only beauties in it."

"Don't pretend that you care that mom died," Edward growled, "you never cared one bit about her!"

"Oh no Edward, oh no, Elizabeth was a different woman before she grew sick."

"She got sick when I was sixteen!"

"You weren't born when she was healthy. The day became pregnant with you was the day she died. You killed her Edward. You killed your mother!"

He threw Edward into the wall and hit the lights. Edward struggled to adapt his eyes to the sudden darkness. He felt a foot in his side.

With nothing to distract his mind, Edward could clearly see the faces of his loved ones in his mind's eye. Elizabeth's warm smile made his heart ache. "None of this would have happened if you hadn't been born."

"No," Edward moaned in a whisper.

"You killed her. If you had never been born she would have lived."

This went on for what felt like hours. Edward listened to his father's voice from all directions. You killed your mother. You should have never been born. You killed Elizabeth!

You, it was you...it was you...it was me. Masen left Edward lying on the floor with a dim light. Edward tried not to cry.

--

Bella had been gazing out the window when she was suddenly unable to breathe despite the fact she no longer needed to. Her breath was coming out in pants and then in dry sobs.

"What's wrong Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"She's been like this for a while," Jasper said. "Suddenly she'll become so full of pain."

"I killed my mother," Bella sobbed, "if I hadn't been born she would have lived!"

"What are you talking about?" Esme asked, worried.

"I killed her...because I was born...I let her die. I sold my soul and let her die."

"Bella?! What are your talking about?" Alice asked from the seat in front.

When it passed Bella cried into the tissue Esme offered her. Emmett requested a pillow and a blanket for her and Carlisle watched in silent alarm.

"What just happened?" Esme asked.

"I don't know," Bella whispered, "I've become so full of sadness lately. When we were in the car I felt as if I had done something so terrible it was killing me. Now it was like I honestly believed that Renee had died."

"Hey! When you and Edward broke up that one time you said that you heard his voice in his head right?"

"You always remember the embarrassing stuff, huh Alice?" Bella grumbled.

"Maybe, if that's the case, you are more in tune to Edward's feelings and this was heightened when you changed."

"That would explain why I have been feeling more and more hopeless," Bella sighed, looking out the window. She closed her eyes and remembered the last time she was on a plane with Alice. Edward was safe but she had almost lost him. She had been so afraid of falling asleep because she feared he would disappear. Now, she would give anything to sleep. Sleep to dream of him. She wanted to dream of life when Edward was by her side.

She reached over and felt a rock hard hand under her fingers. "Edward," She sighed.

"Jasper, but close."

Bella looked over and saw Jasper's hand. "Sorry," she mumbled.

"Are you alright?" Jasper asked, "you're spacing out more than usual."

"I was just thinking about when I came back from Italy with Edward," Bella admitted quietly, "I miss him."

"I know," Jasper said kindly, "we'll get him back, I promise."

--

Edward curled up into a ball in the corner. Masen wasn't paralyzing him as much anymore but he was leaving just as often. Edward was so weak it didn't matter. He was constantly slipping in and out of consciousness.

The present was becoming an illusion. Was he ever loved? Did he ever have a fiance named Isabella Swan? Her face was becoming fuzzy. Her soft voice and beautiful laugh were becoming so faint in his ears.

How long had it been? Months? All he knew was pain and hunger. He was alone.

"I am alone," he whispered, "always alone."

He pushed Bella from his mind. Most of his family was now a distant thought. He couldn't remember his blonde brother's name. He didn't even know if he had a blonde brother. Or sisters. Without realizing, Edward had near forgotten the Cullens. He was Edward Anthony Masen. Son of Edward and Elizabeth Masen. His mother was dead because of him and his father was going to kill him.

He had no sense of time. No sense of anything. His mind was slipping into nothing. He closed his eyes and held his breath, trying to suffocate himself, forgetting that vampires don't need to breathe.

"You have never belonged to any family," Masen said in his ear. "You have never been loved. I am keeping you alive because of what little mercy I have towards you."

"I have no family," Edward repeated quietly. "I deserve to die."

--

Chicago, 2008

The moment the Cullen family stepped into the airport Bella nearly fainted. Emmett caught her and he carried her to the chairs by the windows while Carlisle assured spectators that it was just her fear of flying. He knelt beside Bella and gave her a quick once over, making sure that she wasn't hurt. Once the fit passed, they walked out of the airport. Bella was overwhelmed by the scent of all the humans and Carlisle pushed a black water bottle into her hands. "Drink this or you'll end up drinking them."

After he spoke he looked at Jasper. It was after all the first big city they had been to in a long time.

"I'm fine," Jasper said. "I'm not thirsty."

"I'm not either," Bella grumbled. Carlisle chuckled and patted her head. She drank the blood anyway. It was starting to taste better. It didn't taste like metal as much anymore. She was developing a liking for deer and bears. She smiled slightly as she remembered Edward commenting on how he liked mountain lions. But the memory of his smooth voice and light laugh made her feel queasy so she stopped thinking about it.

She drank as they walked, Esme held her free hand to keep her from dashing off. When she finished off the bottle, Emmett took it and put it back in their pack. Bella didn't want to admit it, but the scent of the humans around her seemed to fade.

It was a cloudy day but Carlisle didn't want to take any risks. So they all went into a department store and bought a winter wardrobe. Bella, Esme and Alice had a brief moment of careless joy trying on hats and sunglasses while Carlisle watched protectively from a distance.

When they all emerged they looked like fashion models. Jasper was dressed in a white button down shirt with pale red pinstripes and black glasses that hid his eyes perfectly. Emmett looked like a Cubs fan, complete with a cap and Carlisle looked like he stepped out of a Calvin Klein ad. Esme took a moment to tell her husband he looked dashing before they left.

They were walking down the street when Bella froze.

_I have no family, I deserve to die_

"Edward," she whispered so quietly her family almost didn't hear it. "Edward...EDWARD!" she broke into a lighting speed of a run. Her eyes filled with tears and she ran faster. She felt like she was dying. She felt hopeless and so alone. Her foot caught on something and she stumbled. She hit the side of a brick building but kept running, leaving a shoulder shaped dent.

She skidded to a halt but not soon enough. Not that it mattered, Emmett's large body barely moved as she crashed, while she fell back a few feet.

"Ow," she grumbled, putting a hand to her head. Emmett reached down and picked her up. He set her lightly back on her feet but he didn't let go of her arms. "Let go!"

"Bella you can't just run around the city," Jasper said behind her. He was soon joined by Alice, Carlisle and finally Esme. "It's reckless and there is most likely a vampire that will kill you if he finds you."

"We need to do some research before searching," Carlisle said flatly. "Emmett, you and Esme will stay with Bella. Jasper, you and Alice need to pick up some news. Anything on missing persons or strange happenings."

Jasper nodded once, took Alice's hand and they both ran off. Esme came up to Bella and put an arm around her.

"If you need me, call me."

"Carlisle, wait," Esme walked up to him, "take me with you."

"Esme someone needs to..."

"Emmett is a more than capable babysitter," she told him. "Please."

Carlisle sighed and touched her cheek. "Very well."

Emmett and Bella watched them leave and Bella started to cry.

"What's wrong?" Emmett asked.

"I can't just sit here and wait for him!" Bella cried, "he's so scared!"

"You saw this?"

"Felt it," Bella said. Emmett to her hand and led her down the street. They would look more natural this way. "I can feel what he feels, but mostly what he feels so strongly."

"Listen, Bella, I know this can't be easy for you. And I know you have trouble believing in us to be safe, but please trust Carlisle. He'd die before he let anyone kill Edward. They're closer than you can imagine."

"How close?"

"I won't ever tell Esme this," Emmett said, dropping his voice as if Esme was merely across the street. "But I honestly believe that if he had to choose between the two, he'd pick Edward. Not to say that he doesn't love Esme to death," he added quickly.

"He and Edward are that close?"

"Well, Edward was the first one he changed. He was his first friend. They've always been close, like they've shared this unexplainable bond."

They turned down another street and found that it was relatively empty, it was a neighborhood. On one side there was a cemetery. Bella turned towards it and Emmett followed.

"Where are you going?"

--

"When I kill you," Masen whispered in Edward's sensitive ear, "I'll bury you myself."

--

Bella stopped walking and turned suddenly. She walked down a row of tombstones and stopped. She felt a cold chill race along her spine. She turned to her right and saw a gray stone, weathered away and speckled with moss.

Edward Anthony Masen

1901-1918

Edward's empty grave, right beside his mothers. Bella looked at the small words beneath Elizabeth's name. "The stars shined brighter when he came into my life." Bella read.

"What does that mean?" Emmett asked.

"It means that she loved Edward more than anything in the world."

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

DC: I don't own it, though I am making plans to kidnap Edward and Emmett...and Carlisle.

Thank you to my wonderful reviewers!!

I am so sorry it took so long to update! My computer charger broke and therefore my computer was quite dead. Just in time for finals. Anyway the first part of this was already written so I couldn't finish it (not that I had time around the papers I had to re-write in the library). Sigh.

Chapter 6,

The Cullens had never seen Carlisle so angry. Not that it wasn't justified anger, they had been in Chicago for a few weeks and there was no sign of Edward or his father. But it was the fact that they had never seen Carlisle angry before. It was still scary.

"I should have known this would happen!" He fumed for the tenth time that hour.

"You should have known?!" Alice cried suddenly, "_I_ should have known! For crying out loud I can see everybody's future but the one that matters! Heck I can see that Bella is debating on if to shower now or tomorrow!"

"Thanks Alice everybody needed to know that," Bella grumbled.

"Don't worry yourself, Alice, it isn't your fault," Jasper said gently, hugging her tighter. She was sitting between his legs and his arms were around her waist. Esme was knitting in the corner. It looked like she was indifferent, but the fact that she had gone through three rolls of yarn and made a total of three scarves and a pair of mittens in a matter of hours told everyone in the room that she was on the verge of a nervous collapse.

Not to mention she hadn't fed in weeks. Her eyes were coal black. Whenever Carlisle offered her a bottle from their pack she ignored him. The family learned that day that Carlisle didn't like it when Esme ignored him.

"I'm not going to drink anything you offer me, Carlisle so you may as well save your breath," she snapped finally.

"Esme, please, we need everyone to be as strong as possible."

"I don't know if my baby is eating anything! I won't until he's safe in my arms!"

"Stop being so stubborn!" Carlisle said, annoyed. "Just feed already!"

"No! I won't!" Esme snapped, glaring at her husband. Carlisle glared back. Jasper blanketed the room with a peaceful calm.

"Thank you Jasper," Carlisle muttered.

Down the hall from the room, Emmett was on the phone with Roselie.

"How is everyone?" she asked.

"I'll tell you the truth, we're falling apart," Emmett said quiet enough for her ears only. "Mom and Dad are fighting a lot. Worse than when they were back home. I think it is because they are trapped in a hotel room. Alice and Jasper are always cuddling. Well, Alice is always in his lap and he is always holding her and Bella is crying an ocean. Not to mention I miss you."

"I miss you too," Roselie assured him. "It's so quiet here. Edward hasn't shown up and there haven't been any new vampires in the area. Charlie called asking if Bella was okay. Carlisle apparently fed him a story that she and Alice went on a trip to Europe. Carlisle forged a note from Bella saying that she had cold feet and needed some time to think about if marrying Edward was what she really wanted. Charlie bought it. But then again he wouldn't really mind. You know how he doesn't care for Edward."

"He'll forgive him one of these days."

"I just want to know how Carlisle is going to explain Bella's being a vampire."

"I'm sure he'll figure something out," Emmett said with a small smile, entertaining some amusing ideas. "But enough about all that. What's going on with you?"

"I'm missing you so much I can't stand it," Roselie said. Emmett smiled and felt his heart race just a bit. "Emmy come home soon."

He would have blushed at the name if he could.

"I will, Rosie, and I'll bring everyone back with me. Edward too."

"I know he's technically older than us, but I still feel like he's my baby brother," Roselie sighed. "Oh, Emmett, I can't stand to think about what could be happening to him."

"Poor Bella has to."

"What do you mean?"

"Bella's special ability is the ability to see into Edward's feelings. She feels what he feels in a matter of speaking. Sometimes she'll cry out as if someone is ripping her heart in two and sometimes she'll just lay there and her eyes will look so lifeless and scared. It's unnerving. The first day we were here, she went to the cemetery, following something she felt, and saw the place where Edward was supposedly buried."

"Creepy," Roselie said with a shiver.

"Yeah, it was really unreal."

"I wish I was there," Roselie said, "I feel so helpless just waiting. Like a little wife waiting for her soldier to come home."

"Emmett, can you come here?" Carlisle said from the other end of the hallway. His voice was calm and quiet, but loud enough for Emmett to hear as if they were side by side.

"I have to go," Emmett said sadly, "I'll call you as soon as I can. I love you very much my Rose."

"I love you too. Be safe and tell everybody that I'm praying for them and I miss them."

"Will do, bye."

He hung up and zipped down the hall. He walked into the room. "Roselie says she missed all of you."

"Oh, that's sweet," Esme said through a fresh wave of tears.

"Emmett, we're going to..." Carlisle trailed off when Bella fainted.

--

Who was the girl with the dark hair? Edward couldn't think of anyone he knew who had dark hair. He couldn't remember anything.

_Edward, please..._

Edward? Who was that? Was that him? He couldn't remember his own name. Did he have one?

"I'm going to kill you," Masen said from above him. "Now, I'll avenge Elizabeth."

He was lifted from the ground. His hands were bound by the same grimy rope, covered in sweat from sleepless nightmares and blood from countless humans. His arms were covered in crescent shaped scars. His skin was paler than it had been before.

He was hit repeatedly. Get on with it, he found himself thinking, it's not like there is anyone who would miss me.

--

Bella was running through the streets of Chicago as if the devil was at her heels. Jasper was having trouble keeping up with her newborn power. The Cullen coven was running through the streets of Chigaco and nobody knew.

"Edward, please, hold on. Just hold on!"

--

_Please, hold on. Just hold on._

Mother? Edward wondered. No. She was dead. He killed her.

--

_I'm so tired_

"Please just wait for me," Bella sobbed, "you promised. Together forever."

_Let me sleep. I can dream when I'm asleep. Maybe I'll meet an angel._

"Edward!"

_Who are you talking to?_

"Edward! It's Bella! Please stay alive!"

--

_Edward! It's Bella! Please stay alive!_

"Bella?" Edward whispered. "Who are you Bella?"

"STOP MUTTERING! IT'S GETTING ON MY NERVES!" Masen screamed. "You're more annoying than you're worth!"

_I love you Edward, I'm coming! I'm coming!_

He knew he was going to die because his life flashed before his eyes. His lovely mother with her sparkling green eyes and warm smile. She was speaking with a smile. He couldn't hear her words but he could feel her arms around him and smell the soft talc on her skin.

He was in the hospital, the doctor was telling him that his mother died. The moment he had been told he came face to face with his own mortality. Without his mother to save him in what little ways she could, he would die. Maybe it was better. Fade away into the darkness. Fade into eternal sleep with memories of his mother and the brown eyed girl. He could see the brunette clearly in his mind but he couldn't remember who she was. Her smile brought warmth. He could barely remember thinking about her face to give him strength.

Bella. The name sounded familiar. Her face was so clear in his head but he couldn't remember why.

What a stupid lamb. What a sick masochistic lion.

He couldn't feel his father's blows anymore. It was time to give up.

"this place...isn't...home...never...was..."

Masen said something. He didn't hear it.

--

Alice was hit so hard by the force of her vision she fell to her knees and exploded into tears. She could see Edward dead. Her stomach lurched and rejected that morning's kill. At the same time, Bella let out a shriek like cry and stumbled. Tears fell down her cheeks like waterfalls and she scrambled to her feet.

"EDWARD NO!"

She didn't stop running. She regained her balance and Jasper pulled Alice into his arms, not breaking speed.

"What is it?" Carlisle demanded.

"He's...given...he's giving up..." Alice rasped. "He's...he's..."

Bella turned so sharply the pack of vampires behind her passed her by nearly a block. She ran up a set of stone steps to a small house. She burst through the door and skidded to a halt. A thick layer of dust covered everything in sight. On the wall was a family portrait. A beautiful woman with bronze hair sat dressed in old clothing with her arms around a child. The child's face was cut out but there was a clear splash of bronze on the canvas. Beside the two was a severe looking man that Bella had seen once before.

"It's him," she breathed.

She caught one breath and could smell him. Edward. The family quickly went downstairs. Cinderblock walls. Just like what Alice saw.

Across the room was a door. Bella stepped towards it but Carlisle was faster. He kicked the door down.

Edward Masen looked over and saw a very angry pair of golden eyes. Anger didn't describe what Carlisle's eyes portrayed. His whole body shook with a powerful rage. His mind raced with different delightful ideas on how to kill Edward Masen.

At Carlisle's side was Emmett. Big and bulky Emmett. On Carlisle's other side was the thinner but equally powerful Jasper.

"Get the fuck away from my son," Carlisle snarled. No matter how frightening the two men looked side by side, Carlisle put them both to shame. Esme reached out and pulled her two sons back as Carlisle darted forward and caught Masen's throat in his hand. "I will take deep pleasure in ripping you to shreds," he hissed.

There was a loud crack, like the breaking of metal, and Edward Masen was short one arm. Esme reached into their pack and found the materials to start a fire. "Emmett, we'll need ventilation," she instructed in a feeble attempt at a calm voice.

Bella didn't wait for the battle, if it could so be called, to end. She ran, ducking as one of Masen's arms flew towards the corner, and stopped beside Edward.

"Edward! Edward look at me!"

Edward didn't move. Bella couldn't believe that there was actually a time when Edward didn't look beautiful. He laid before her with his hands locked at the wrists. His bronze hair was matted and in desperate need of a wash. The purple under his eyes was so dark it was almost black. He even looked thinner.

She lifted him slightly and held tightly to him. She was horrified to see that her snowy hand was at least a shade darker than his own. His skin was so pale he looked almost transparent.

"Edward, please, open your eyes."

He didn't know if he was in heaven yet. He was sure he had to be.

"Edward," Bella sobbed. She grabbed his hand and pulled at the rope. After a few strong tugs, it came free. She took his limp hand. It was still so cold. So familiar. But it didn't reach to caress her. His slender fingers remained limp against his palm. She brought his hand to her face. "Don't die, please don't die."

The tears on his palm weren't imaginary. Edward opened his eyes. He could always dream again later. But his eyes focused and saw a fire in the corner, a perfect background behind the most beautiful creature he had laid eyes on. He felt intimidated by her beauty. Was it the fires of hell behind her? Would she stay with him? The brunette angel from his dreams would guide him into the fires of hell and stay by his side.

"It's...you."

Bella's eyes opened and she looked at him. She cried harder at what she saw. His eyes were dark black. In the center, where his pupil should have been she saw a small splash of white. She remembered Jasper telling her once about the time he had seen a vampire starve himself to death. His eyes were all white, he told her, and the skin around them was as black as coal.

"Edward," she breathed.

"Who...who are you?" He asked with difficulty in a ghostly voice. "I've dreamt of you."

"It's me, Edward," Bella sobbed, "It's Bella...Edward you have to remember me."

Edward touched her face weakly. She was as beautiful as he imagined her to be.

"Bella," Edward breathed, "are you really here?"

"Yes, yes I'm really here. Edward I'm here and I'll never let you go again."

Tears were rolling down Edward's cheeks. The angel from his daydreams wasn't just a dream. She was real. His Bella was in his arms again. Weakly he held her. Or rather, his arms rested limply on her back, that was about all he had strength for.

--

Carlisle was the only one that hadn't looked at Edward since they arrived beyond assessing that he was in fact alive. Esme and Jasper were putting out the fire and mumbling curses at the ashes. Alice was crying and Emmett was in tears on the phone with Roselie, telling her over and over again that Edward was alive and safe with them.

"Carlisle, we have to go."

Carlisle walked up to his son and gathered him into his arms. Edward didn't object. Carlisle was familiar. Carlisle was safe. Seeing the faces of his family brought the memories back. They weren't just a dream. They were all real.

Edward felt like he was a child in his father's arms. He rested his tired head on Carlisle's sturdy shoulder. He smelled like the hospital. He always did. For as long as Edward had known Carlisle, he smelt of the hospital.

"Dad," Edward said in a cracking voice very unlike his own. He didn't finish. He didn't have anything to finish with. What was there to say? Thank you for saving my life again? "I'm sorry I worried you," he said finally.

Carlisle snapped. They were at the top of the stairs and almost out the door. He had almost made it. But then Edward had to say that. Carlisle stopped and closed his eyes. Edward stiffened, wondering if he had said something wrong. Carlisle crumpled to the floor and held Edward in a tight embrace. He cried silently into his son's messy hair. He held the back of Edward's head and squeezed him tight.

In the almost two months that Edward had been gone Carlisle had managed to keep from breaking down. Everything that built up over that time came out. Edward started to cry too. He clung to Carlisle as if Masen was going to tear up the stairs and pull him away.

"I love you, son, I love you," Carlisle sobbed. "I thought I'd never see you again."

"I love you too, Dad."

This was right, Edward thought as he hugged Carlisle. This was what Elizabeth should have had. This is what he should have had. He looked up and saw the portrait on the wall. His mother smiled down at him. This is what she wanted for him.

Esme sank and embraced them both. Carlisle pulled one hand free and pulled her close. Before long all of the Cullens were on the floor, sobbing and embracing.

--

It was Edward's turn to fight against unconsciousness. Bella sat beside him and he rested on her shoulder. Her arm was securely around him and they were completely silent. He moved his head and she rested her cheek on him. They arrived at the hotel and Emmett helped Edward out. Bella volunteered to carry him to the room.

"Are you sure?" Emmett asked.

"I want her to," Edward said quietly. He didn't have much of a voice yet. Bella hoisted him onto her back, his arms hung around her shoulders and she held him just under the knees.

"Hold on tight," she told him with a smile. She ran up the stairs to avoid questions about the battered boy on her back. Once in the room, she set him down. "What do you want to do first?"

He answered that by pressing his lips weakly against hers. "You."

"Well that isn't an option right now," Bella mumbled, obviously flustered. "How about I give you a sponge bath."

"That would be good too, I suppose."

Bella heard Carlisle and the others enter the other room they rented. At least her future in-laws understood privacy. Carlisle had given her instructions in the car. She was to feed him and take care of him. If there were any problems she was to call him.

"Edward, you have to drink something before."

"No," Edward said flatly. Bella took out one of the bottles from the pack, noting that there were only a few left. Briefly she wondered just how many Carlisle had packed, or if he was some sort of void to the world of animal blood.

"Edward, you have to drink this or..."

"NO!" Edward yelled. He pushed away from her but not walking for a while kept him from going far. He wobbled and fell. Bella looked at him, slightly irritated.

"I'm not going to hurt you," she told him. "You need to get your strength back."

Edward shook his head no and pushed back away from her with his feet. He was in the corner, holding his knees. "I won't. I won't drink that. I won't drink blood ever again."

"Edward, you need to drink blood to survive."

"Then I don't want to survive! I won't do it!"

"It's animal blood, Edward."

"I can't," he whispered.

Bella's phone vibrated. She looked at it. There was a text from Carlisle. Don't force him. Bella sighed and put the bottle down. She walked slowly to Edward, as if he was a cat about to be frightened. He let her approach him and kneel before him. She put a hand on his.

"Edward, I'm not going to hurt you. And I'm not going to do anything that would hurt you."

Edward looked at her with his white black eyes and they were quickly filling with tears. "I'm a mess."

"You've spent two months in captivity."

"Two months?"

"Mmhmm," Bella said.

"October..."

"Yes."

"Bella, oh Bella I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" She asked. "You were the victim here."

"Our wedding," Edward cried, "Bella I ruined your special day."

Bella laughed, slightly hysterical, "you honestly think I'm mad about that? I just spent the past sixty days worrying about you and wondering if you were alive! Believe me, the wedding is the last thing I'm thinking about!"

Edward looked at her, his chin resting on his knees. "I'm already failing at this," he muttered. "I'm surprised you didn't just leave me."

"Is that the kind of girl you think I am?" Bella asked, sitting beside him. "You think I'll run at the first sign of danger?"

"I know you don't," Edward said with a weak crooked smile, "we wouldn't be here if you did."

Bella smiled and kissed him lightly. "Okay, if you don't want to drink, then we'll get you showered. I love you to death but you smell like a foot."

"But only if you bathe me," Edward said. Bella nodded and pulled him to his feet.

--

Edward sank back against Bella's body. That was one of his conditions. She had to be in the bath with him. Of course she was in no position to turn him down. He held her hands and sighed. "I should have been the one to change you," he said sadly.

It was all a matter of time before this came up. Bella didn't respond right away. Yeah, you should have been wasn't exactly the most tactful of answers. Instead of replying she squeezed some shampoo into her palm and began massaging his scalp.

"A worthy distraction," Edward sighed. Bella's fingers combed through his hair, dragging soap with them. She massaged his head and smiled when his eyes closed and his head lolled back. It was hard to believe that this wasn't a dream. Edward was here and alive. He was naked in her arms, relaxing to the gentle touch of her fingers on his head.

She looked at his naked body silently. Her eyes traveled down his slender shoulders and down his pale arm to his relaxed hand on her equally leg. If she were still able to, a blush would have crept into her cheeks as her eyes skimmed between his legs. It was official. Everything about him was perfect.

"You checking me out?" Edward asked with a grin, his eyes still closed.

"Um...no...I was...yes. How did you know?"

"Because you stopped moving your hands," he told her. Sure enough her fingers were frozen in place in his hair. "Don't worry, I looked at you too."

"You..."

"Your breasts do have such a nice curve, and you have cute little nipples."

"Edward Cullen I think I might just have to kill you myself!"

Edward laughed and let her splash him. Bella rinsed his hair and rubbed in some conditioner. Edward closed his eyes and sighed. Her body was firmer than he remembered. It made him sad. He leaned his head back after she washed the soap from his hair and rested against her shoulder. Her arms circled him and her hands rested lightly on his stomach.

"Bella," Edward said in a soft voice laced with fear, "never let me go."

"I won't," Bella promised, "I won't let anyone take you again."

Edward started to cry again. It was habit by now. He turned and hugged her and cried into her chest. Bella rubbed his back and let him cry. Edward held her tight and sobbed over and over again "this is real"

Finally Edward stopped crying and remained still. His breathing was gentle and steady. It was as if he was asleep. Was there a way vampires could sleep? Bella wondered.

"Edward," she said softly, "honey?"

Edward stirred slightly but didn't open his eyes. Bella carefully lifted him from the tub and gently toweled him dry. She carried him into the other room and set him on one of the beds. She grabbed a pair of Jasper's sweatpants and gently slid them on Edward. She pulled the covers back and tucked him in. She knew it wasn't necessary, but she still felt like doing it. She left a kiss on his cheek and a promise to keep him safe.

After looking at her fiance's resting form for a good few minutes, she went to the neighboring room.

"How is he?" Alice asked.

"Sleeping."

"Sleeping?" Jasper repeated.

"He hasn't fed in a long time. His body is drained," Carlisle said.

"I'm going to go back," Bella said, "I just wanted to give you an..." she trailed off when she heard muffled screaming from the next room. She ran into the room and to the bed. Edward was crying and screaming.

Bella leapt onto the bed and put her arms around him. "Edward, calm down please. I'm here."

"No! No leave me alone!"

"Edward, it's me." Bella touched his cheek.

"Bella?"

She put her forehead against his. "Yes, I'm here. Edward please calm down."

"You promised you'd stay," Edward mumbled. Bella sighed and crawled under the covers with him. He latched onto her instantly. His head rested against her chest and his arms held tight around her middle. Bella smiled and kissed the top of his head.

"Edward, sweetheart, you'll have to feed soon."

"I don't want to," Edward mumbled.

"Edward," Bella said gently, "you know that I won't do anything to hurt you. Please trust me."

"I won't, I can't. I won't be like him!"

Bella looked at him and sighed. "Edward, if you don't drink anything you'll die and we'll be apart forever. Edward please, for me."

"I killed a little boy," Edward confessed, "I drank his blood because I was so thirsty. It made me worse! Bella I can't!"

Bella sat up and Edward copied her. "How about this," Bella said, "I'll feed you and you just close your eyes and pretend it's something else."

"I'm not five," Edward reminded her, slightly annoyed. He looked down at the green patterned quilt that covered him. It clashed horribly with his pale hands. He looked at the skin on his wrists. It was worn away and darker than the rest of his body. There were crescent shaped marks all over his arms. He looked at Bella. She was wearing her pajamas. A tank top and cotton pants. He saw a scar on her shoulder. He traced it with his finger.

"What?" Bella asked softly.

"I thought you had died," Edward said quietly, "I wasn't sure what had happened."

"You can't imagine how you being gone changed everything," Bella told him. Edward rested his cheek on her shoulder.

"Was everyone worried?"

"You have no idea," Bella muttered. "Roselie is going insane back home. Carlisle made her stay behind just incase you returned."

"I've been away before," Edward mumbled, "they were fine then."

"I think that was because they knew you were safe. We had no idea where you were."

Edward didn't speak. He had a hundred questions to ask her, like how she found him for starters. But thinking about it made him feel sick. He took Bella's hand and traced her palm. Bella could feel his heart sinking.

"I missed you," Edward said softly.

Bella laid down under the covers and Edward looked down at her. Bella looked into his eyes. They didn't scare her like they first had. He was still unfamiliar to her. She reached under the covers and brushed her nails lightly against the underside of his knee.

Edward let out a yelp of a laugh and Bella grinned. She tickled him again.

"S-stop!" Edward squealed through laughter as Bella's nails attacked his knee. This was the Edward she knew. His smile was still the same. His laugh was still like velvet. Her tickling continued. Edward's hands locked on her body and his fingers found their way to her sides. Both dissolved into fits of laughter, rolling around and attacking each other playfully.

Bella managed to end up on top of Edward. The remnants of laughter still hung between them. Bella touched his face. She lowered her lips to his and kissed him deeply.

He was still weak, but he put effort into holding her tight against his body. For the first time her lips parted and he didn't stop her. They had nothing to worry about now. Edward brushed his tongue against her lips and took the kiss further. Bella's fingers tangled in his damp hair and she kissed him as if he was going to vanish.

She nearly felt her heart explode with her strong feelings combined with his. Edward felt a hot tear land on his cheek as they kissed. He explored her mouth and her sweet taste. The smell of the strawberries in her hair surrounded him. His arms tightened as hard as they could around her.

This was real.

TBC

Woot Edward is safe! But the story isn't nearly over so yay for that too!


	7. Chapter 7

DC: I don't own it

Thank you to my wonderful reviewers!

Yeah so updates will be a little slower. I'm working full time for the college and taking an online class so I'll be pretty busy. Also I'm stuck in between two major events in the story and I have to come up with a link between them that doesn't sound completely stupid. :)

Anyway _**GRAPHIC CONTENT WARNING**_ but don't worry, it's the good kind ;)

Chapter 7,

Edward sat in the car and waited patiently for Bella to emerge from Charlie's little house. He could hear the conversation between them in his head and could only imagine what was going on inside Bella's. All he knew was that Carlisle had given Bella and ultimatum. Tell Charlie and Renee what she had become, or fake her death.

Either way, Bella wouldn't see much of her parents ever again. She would be spending her life in the shadows with him. The thought sent made his stomach flip before plummeting to his knees. He felt like it was his fault. He ruined her.

_Just like mother._

Edward put his hand to his head, as if it would drive away the echo of his father's voice in his head. He closed his eyes as he felt them burn with the tears that came so easily now. "Mother died of the influenza," he told himself.

_That you gave her_

"STOP IT!" Edward's eyes snapped open and he felt breathless. He looked quickly around, realizing that he was in his car and his father was still dead.

He leaned back against the seat, he felt tired.He distracted himself by listening to Bella's voice in Charlie's head.

_Dad, please, I love Edward and this is what I want_

_Bella! Look at you! You're practically dead!_

_But I'm not, Dad! I'm giving you a chance to at least stay in my life! Don't push me away!_

_How could you do this to me?! To your mother! With Edward?!_

_I was going to marry him anyway! I am marrying him anyway! I'll make a promise in two weeks to love him forever and stay by his side forever!_

_That doesn't mean literally, Isabella!_

_Oh, so I can marry Edward but I can't be a vampire? I'll live with him until I'm ninety and then die and leave him alone?! Is that what you want?_

"I NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D _ACTUALLY_MARRY HIM!"

There was a long silence after Charlie yelled. Edward had heard it loud and clear and a darker side of him was glad that he couldn't see Bella's face.

_Oh yes,_

Bella's voice was cool and dark

_I'm sure you were just thrilled when I told you I was reconsidering the marriage. Did you call Jacob to tell him I was free? Hm? I was never in Europe reconsidering my marriage. I was out saving Edward's life from another vampire. I would die for him Charlie, and I know he would for me. He already tried once._

_That boy has turned my baby girl into a blood sucking monster! He was never good enough for you and now you've gone and ruined your life!_

Edward could see Bella's face clearly in Charlie's mind. Her dark gold eyes were clouded and starting to sparkle.

"Fine," Edward heard her say, "I'll just stay out of your way then."

"Bella!" Charlie called. Edward saw the front door open and Bella ran out. She didn't run to the Volvo. She ran into the nearby forest. "Bella!"

Edward saw Charlie on the front steps. He got out of the car and ran into the forest after her. "Bella! Wait!"

Admittedly, Edward missed being a hundred times faster than her. He knew where she was running. She was running back to the big white house where she was accepted and safe. Edward veered off and took a short cut along the street. It shaved seconds off of his time by not having to dodge trees or leap over logs. He cut across a clearing and grabbed Bella by the waist. They both went down and skidded in the grass until they hit a tree and effectively stopped.

"Let go of me!" Bella demanded, squirming. He couldn't hold her as easily as before, but he did ensure that she didn't escape. He stood up gracefully, holding her against his chest. Bella pushed against him and struggled to get away but he held her tight. "Edward! Let go!"

Edward obeyed and released her. Bella took a few steps back and turned away from him. "Are you angry with me?" He asked.

"No," Bella said quietly. "I just need to be alone right now."

"Bella, I understand that you're upset..."

"No you don't," Bella said quietly, "you don't know what this is like."

"I've been upset and hurt before," Edward told her. "I know this is hard but..."

"Just stop," Bella snapped, "you don't know what this is like! You didn't have to tell your parents that you weren't human anymore!"

"I became a vampire because I had no other choice! Because I would die otherwise!"

"But still, you didn't see the look in your mom's eyes!"

"Because she was dead!" Edward cried. "Because I killed her! I know rejection, Bella! I spent seventeen years in rejection!"

"Being rejected by someone that didn't care to begin with isn't the same thing!"

The words had barely left her mouth when she felt the sting they had caused. Edward looked at her with honey gold and white eyes that were filling with hurt. He looked vulnerable and fragile in that moment.

"Edward..."

"You're right," Edward said in a thick voice, "I don't know."

He turned and left her standing alone in the clearing.

--

"Is Edward around?" Bella asked. Esme shrugged and Jasper looked at Alice.

"He's at the beach down in La Push, just outside of the wolves territory," Alice said calmly. "Carlisle is going after him in a little while."

"Why?" Esme asked.

"I said some things that I shouldn't have," Bella said. Esme patted the cushion next to her and Bella sat. She started to fidget with her fingers and bite her lower lip. "Telling Charlie didn't go well,"

"I could have told you that," Alice grumbled and Esme shot her a look.

"I was upset and Edward went after me. He said he understood what I was feeling and because I was so angry I...snapped at him."

"Well," Esme said, putting her arm around Bella's shoulders, "sweetheart we all say things we don't mean. Edward just needs some time to himself to get over it. You two have never really fought before and it's something he isn't used to."

"I told him that he didn't understand," Bella mumbled through tears, "and that rejection isn't the same from someone who didn't like him. I feel horrible, Esme! I was so angry and upset that I..."

"Don't worry dear," Esme said gently, "Carlisle will talk him down."

"He won't talk to anyone," Alice said, not looking up from her book, "not even you, Bella."

"He hates me!" Bella cried.

"He doesn't hate you," Jasper told her. "He's just dealing with some heavy stuff right now. He doesn't always know how to react."

"But that's just it," Bella said, rubbing her eye, "he's always known what to say."

Esme rubbed her shoulder lightly and once again promised that everything would be okay.

--

"Sometimes I must admit I miss the ocean breeze."

Edward looked over at Carlisle. He was leaning back on his hands and his eyes were closed. A small smile graced his lips as the salty breeze blew over them. Edward sighed and looked back out over the water.

"She didn't mean it," Carlisle told him.

"Yeah, I know," Edward sighed. He rested his chin on his knees. "Carlisle, if my mom had lived, would you have still changed me?"

"Probably not," Carlisle said after a pause. "I wouldn't take a child away from his mother like that."

"But my father was alive and you still changed me," Edward reminded him.

"Yes, but that was because your mother asked me to."

_You sold your soul and let her die_

Edward shook his head and jumped up. Carlisle looked up at him curiously. "Carlisle, sparing my feelings, how did my mother die?" Edward asked, looking out over the ocean.

Carlisle sighed and remained silent for a while. His thoughts were cloudy and Edward couldn't see them clearly. He could see the hospital in Carlisle's mind. So many sick and dying people. He locked on when he saw the bronze haired Elizabeth, dying.

"It is true that she was sick," Carlisle said finally, having let Edward see enough of the hospital. "But there were other complications."

"Such as?" Edward asked. Carlisle looked at him.

"You want me to say that you caused her death. Is that right?"

"No, I didn't say that," Edward defended. Carlisle sighed and looked at the setting sun.

"She had several injuries on her lower body and as you know 1918 wasn't exactly the cleanest time period. She was sick like everyone else but she also had infections."

Edward looked away towards the beach.

"In short, Edward, people died of things back then that they effortlessly survive today. You didn't cause your mother's death. She begged me to save you in anyway I could and selfishly, I was lonely."

"You weren't selfish," Edward said, "you saved me, Carlisle. I am eternally grateful."

Carlisle pulled Edward into a one-armed hug and ruffled his hair. It was comforting, knowing that he was wanted and cared for by the only person he could call a father. "I'd better leave you alone,"

"Why?" Edward asked suddenly.

"Edward,"

Carlisle smiled and vanished in a flash. Edward turned to Bella who was standing nervously behind him. He felt breathless at the sight of her. Her skin sparkled slightly and looked like it was made of gold. The twilight caught her hair perfectly. She looked at him with soft golden eyes. She walked up to him silently and carefully, judging his mood and reactions. He didn't move. He let her approach him. She looked up at him.

"Edward, I'm sorry," she said softly, "I really am. I know you were just trying to make me feel better."

Edward slid his arms around her waist and pulled her against him. "I know you didn't mean it," he said, "and I'm sorry I overreacted."

"You didn't overreact," Bella told him. She rested her head on his chest and inhaled his scent. She felt calmer instantly. Edward rested his chin on her head and sighed softly.

"I hate being this way," he told her, "I hate being so emotional all the time."

"Tell me about it," Bella said, "I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong."

Edward pulled away from her and sat with legs dangling over the cliffs edge. Bella followed suit. Edward sighed and then spoke, "I hear his voice in my head, telling me everything he told me. When we were at Charlie's, I could hear both Charlie and my father in my head telling me that it was all my fault. Most of the time my mother's face is plastered in my mind, smiling at me and looking as beautiful as she was before she got sick and I can't help but think that if I hadn't been born she would have survived."

"That's not true, Edward and you know it," Bella said sharply, "your mother loved you."

"Prove it," Edward mumbled.

"She begged Carlisle to save you. To _save_ you. If she didn't love you she would have just let you die."

Edward put his hand on hers. "She would have liked you. No, I'm sure she would have loved you."

"What was she like?" Bella asked.

"Clumsy," Edward said with a smile, "but she was graceful. She was warm and kind. Sometimes my father hit her too."

"I saw that painting of her, she was beautiful," Bella sighed. "I'm sure she loved you more than anything in the world."

"Maybe," Edward shrugged. He stood up and looked at the setting sun, with his eyes closed, he looked so peaceful. Bella smiled. He was her Edward again when he closed his eyes and smiled. When she couldn't see his empty, white stained, eyes. The marks on his wrists had almost completely faded and the scars from Masen's teeth were almost completely invisible. Every day he became stronger. He cried less and smiled more. Every day he became more like the Edward that had stolen her heart.

Edward stretched and sighed. He pulled his shirt over his head and threw it aside. "What are you doing?" Bella asked with a smile.

"Flying," Edward replied with a smile before diving gracefully off of the cliff into the icy water below.

"EDWARD!" Bella cried before remembering that he was a vampire, and completely unharmed. She smiled when she saw his bronze head pop out of the dark water.

"I LANDED ON A ROCK!" Edward called up to her with a laugh.

Bella couldn't help but laugh. He probably destroyed the rock with his hard body. She felt a bubbly joy in her heart and knew that he was feeling peaceful and happy. She looked up at the sunset. When she looked back at the water Edward was gone. She yelped as she felt his icy arms around her.

"What are you doing?" She asked with a giggle. Edward pressed his lips against her neck.

"That was fun," he grinned, "lets do it again."

"Wait...lets?"

"Oh, so you'll jump off of a cliff when you can actually die from it but now you wont?" Edward teased.

"Well...I...had a good reason that time."

"I'll be naked," Edward said with a sly grin.

"Bombs away," Bella said walking to the edge. Edward laughed and Bella pulled her shirt off, followed by her jeans. She looked back at Edward with a grin. He took a few steps back and removed his soaking pants. Bella was delighted to find that for the most part, Emmett had lied. Edward wore boxers.

Edward ran at her and swept her into his arms. He leapt into the air with his fiance tight in his arms. He pressed his lips against hers and held her tight as their bodies fell through the air. Bella laughed as their bodies crashed against the icy water.

She opened her eyes and looked at him. Edward grinned at her underwater and captured her lips again. His hands held her firmly against his body, neither seemed to mind that they were sinking into the black depths of the sea.

Bella's hands slid over his rock hard chest which was colder than the water around them. Edward kissed down her neck and shoulders, pushing her bra strap aside as he did so. Bella's hands found their way to his wet hair.

She felt the vibration of Edward's moan against her shoulder. He nipped playfully at her shoulder. Her hands slid across his abs and slid around to his back. Edward reached behind her and with a few flicks of his fingers her bra loosened, Bella shrugged out of it.

Pressing her lips against his again, Bella pushed her naked chest against Edward's and looked at him. She brushed her hips against his lightly, almost like a feather and pushed her hips against his. With one powerful kick of his legs, the two of them surfaced. Edward carried Bella to the beach and laid her down. It was darker now, and the moon was high above them, bathing them in it's milky glow.

Bella numbly wondered how long they had been under the water, kissing and touching. She forgot about that when she saw Edward above her with the water like diamonds in his hair. "Bella," he whispered, caressing her cheek.

Bella took his hand and kissed it lightly. She kissed each of his fingertips and when she reached the last one she moved to his neck. Her arms curled around his shoulders and her mouth explored his marble neck. Edward felt the faint warmth of her tongue on his skin and felt breathless.

Edward's hand slid from her cheek, down her neck and rested on her chest. "Edward," Bella whispered but realized that she didn't have anything to say. His name was enough to make her weak.

Edward grinned her favorite crooked grin and lowered to her neck. He kissed down her chest and reached lower. Bella gasped and arched her back in surprise. Edward grinned and tore her underwear from her body.

Bella couldn't move and she couldn't think. All she could do was feel her excitement and desire mixed with his. As his mouth and hands explored every inch of her she became more and more excited by the knowledge that he was going to be her husband. Edward Cullen was going to be her husband. They were going to spend an eternity together.

Bella gasped again as Edward's mouth surprised her yet again. Where did he learn that? She wondered thickly. "Edward...god...Edward...mmm..." Her fingers clawed at the hard skin of his shoulders.

"That isn't a sentence, Bella," Edward teased smoothly, but Bella caught a tremble in his voice.

"Edward...please..."

"Please what?" Edward asked, kissing the inside of her thigh and nipping lightly at the skin.

Bella's tongue turned to lead in her mouth and she answered him with an impatient moan. Edward chuckled and kissed his way up her stomach and chest to her lips.

"Is this what you want, Bella?" he asked seriously, unable to hide the tremble of excitement, worry and desire in his voice.

"Y-yes,"

Edward pulled her tight against him and kissed her. While his tongue played with hers, he pushed into her. Bella took in a sharp breath and swallowed Edward's moan. Edward pulled his lips from hers and looked into her eyes. He smiled as he saw them sparkle in the moonlight. He held her hips firmly with one hand and watched the emotions wash over her face. Bella tangled her hands in his bronze hair and one pale leg curled around his.

"Edward," Bella breathed softly.

"I've waited so long for this moment," Edward murmured. He buried his face in her shoulder and picked up his speed. Bella sank her nails into Edward's shoulder and closed her eyes as everything happened at once. Edward shook gently and held her tight. He stopped moving just after his release and stiffened. He didn't move. Bella held him tight against her body.

"Edward, I love you," Bella whispered, kissing his neck.

Edward whispered in her ear and kissed her lightly. Bella closed her eyes. She felt tired, but in a good way. She felt full and happy. It could have been that he was still inside her, but she still felt as if everything was as it should be.

When she opened her eyes she saw that it was snowing. The big puffy flakes were falling around them. Again she wondered just how long she had been lying there beneath Edward, lost in him.

"Let's go home," Edward whispered. He lifted her gently and ran up the cliff to get their clothes. He dressed Bella and then himself. He dashed through the forest towards their big white mansion. When he got home, he was mildly surprised to see that someone had driven his volvo home.

He didn't stop to speak to anyone. He rushed up the stairs and into his bedroom. He tucked Bella beneath the golden sheets and cuddled beside her. He kissed her cheek and whispered I love you into her ear.

"I can't wait to marry you," Edward whispered.

"Just one more week," Bella said with a smile, "one more week."

TBC

Enjoy!


	8. Chapter 8

DC: I don't own it

Thank you so much to those who reviewed! I'm just glad that nobody is running after me with sharp objects for torturing poor Edward. It's all in good fun! ...just not for him.

Chapter 8,

Bella now realized that weddings were indeed stressful. Alice handled a good chunk of the preparations, but Bella had to organize the guest list and make sure the reception hall was being set up accordingly. The guest list had been cut down from all of Forks, to just a few people that were friends of the family. It was less than fifty people, but it was a good enough.

They didn't sent out invitations this time, they just called the people attending. Charlie didn't answer the phone when she called, but rather sent back the original invitation with a note saying he wouldn't watch her marry Edward.

Edward reread the note over and over again while Bella sobbed in his lap.

"A simple no thank you would have sufficed," Emmett grumbled bitterly.

"Look at it this way," Roselie said kindly to the sobbing Bella, "he thinks that you're too good for Edward."

"Maybe," Bella sniffed, rubbing her eyes with her palm.

Charlie had called Renee and told her everything. Bella hadn't heard from her mother but she figured that it was because she didn't believe it. Or maybe she did and she too was avoiding her daughter. Two days before the wedding found Bella sitting alone in the room she and Edward shared, hugging her knees and sobbing off and on.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked for the hundredth time.

"This is all wrong!" Bella cried. "Everything about the wedding is perfect! Everything about the reception is perfect! But I'm still miserable!"

"Can I help in any way?" Edward asked. He sounded like a wounded puppy and a little pathetic. Bella looked at him and took the tissue he offered her.

"I wish I had never told them. They're supposed to be here! My dad is supposed to give me away! Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against Jasper filling in, but still!"

"Would you rather Carlisle did it? I'm sure he'd agree."

"That's not the point, Edward!" Bella cried. "Carlisle is a wonderful father-in-law but he isn't _my_ father! He isn't Charlie!"

Edward pulled her into his arms and petted her hair gently. Bella leaned back against him and sighed. "I'm sorry, Bella."

"No, don't be," Bella said rubbing her eyes, "it's not your fault."

"Maybe if I deserved you..."

"Oh please don't," Bella moaned, "Edward you're the perfect one! You're everything I have ever wanted in a husband and a soul mate!"

Edward didn't reply but the thought was still there. _Bella deserves better._

"I love you," Bella said, sensing his discomfort, "and right now you are the only thing right about this whole wedding!"

"Don't tell Alice that," Edward muttered, "you know how she gets."

It was true, Alice would throw a fit.

"Come in," Edward said suddenly.

"Fine, don't even give me a chance to knock," Alice huffed playfully. Edward chuckled and turned to face his sister.

"What's up?" he asked.

"I need to borrow Bella for the night."

"The night? Why?"

"Well the stripper isn't going to entertain himself," Alice said with a mischevious grin.

"WHAT?!" Edward cried, leaping to his feet and dumping Bella very ungracefully on her backside. "A STRIPPER!"

"Yeah I'm kinda with Edward on this one," Bella said standing. Alice grinned and took her hand. She pulled Bella through the room just as Emmett entered to abduct the groom.

--

Carlisle was hiding out in his office. He stiffened as he heard footsteps approaching the door. The knob turned and Esme came in followed by Emmett, Jasper and Alice. Much to Carlisle's amusement, Emmett was carrying a blindfolded Edward.

"Put me down!" Edward squealed.

"Shush twerp, be patient," Emmett said. Jasper grinned and Carlisle raised an eyebrow.

"What did Alice mean by strippers?! I don't really like the idea of strippers!"

"Don't worry, Bella isn't going to be watching strippers," Alice said rolling her eyes. "You on the other hand..."

"ACK!"

"Do I want to know?" Carlisle asked. Esme walked over to him and took his arm. She effortlessly pulled him out of his comfortable chair and pushed him out into the hallway. "What's going on?"

"You, Dr. Cullen, are being expelled from the house with your sons. Girls are taking over."

"What?!" Carlisle cried. Esme pushed him down the stairs and stopped to pick up his shoes. She pushed him out the front door and his grinning sons followed.

"Have fun you guys! Be safe! Don't spend too much on strippers!"

"WHAT STRIPPERS?!" Edward cried.

"Jasper! Make sure you pay for Eddie to get a nice lap dance!" Alice called.

Bella bit back a laugh as she watched her fiance struggle against his brothers. Esme turned to Bella and grinned. "Let's have some fun!"

--

"I don't care if it is a complete misrepresentation of our species but I love this show," Alice said, popping some popcorn into her mouth.

"I think I would kill myself if I looked like that," Roselie said with one eyebrow raised.

"I dunno, if I got that other hottie I'd be all set," Esme said with a shrug. "Carlisle teases me about liking shows like this, but he can't talk. He's addicted to ER and Scrubs."

"Jasper likes Charmed," Alice said. Roselie and Bella giggled.

"Well, Buffy can kick the crap out of Charmed any day," Roselie said. "Emmett just likes reality television."

"An episode of ER made Carlisle cry once," Esme giggled.

"Fly Away Home made Edward cry," Roselie reminded them. "Bawled like a baby."

"Remember when Bambi came out?" Esme asked. "Oh, Edward and Emmett completely lost it."

Bella laughed at that one. "This is by far the best bachelorette party ever."

"Just remember, as far as Edward is concerned we had strippers and they were mega hot," Roselie reminded her. All the girls shrieked with laughter.

--

"Married life is great," Carlisle said, "you'll love it."

"Yeah, everyday is that much better when I see Rosie's smile," Emmett said dreamily. They were all sitting in a meadow, looking up at the clearing sky and casually sharing a few drinks.

"Nothing will really change from how you are now," Jasper said before taking a drink, "not for us anyway."

"Carlisle, do you think vampires can get pregnant?" Edward asked.

Carlisle took a drink and wiped his lips with the back of his hand. "Who knows. Maybe. I doubt it, as the child wouldn't get enough nutrition, what with the mother not eating normal food."

"Aw, little Eddie wants a baby," Emmett teased.

"Admit it you do to," Edward grumbled. Laughing a little as Emmett ruffled his hair.

"Sometimes, yeah. My kids would be so hot. I mean just look at their mom! But seriously, it would be nice to have little scamps running around."

"I'd pass," Carlisle laughed, "taking care of you animals is hard enough."

Everyone laughed. The sky was clouding over again. It was going to snow some more. "I wonder what the girls are up to," Jasper wondered aloud.

--

It was nearing one in the morning. Alice was flipping through channels and Roselie was examining their vast movie collection. They were all comfy in their pajamas, sitting with large pillows. Alice wore boxer shorts with a tank top, Roselie wore one of Emmett's t-shirts with short shorts underneath, Esme wore very maternal pink flannel and Bella was wearing a t-shirt with cotton pants. It was the best party ever.

"Why do we have Van Helsing?" Roselie asked, looking at the DVD.

"Jasper loves that movie," Alice said, pausing on an infomercial for re-growing hair. She raised an eyebrow.

"Hugh Jackman is so hot," Bella sighed.

Based on that truth, the girls put in Kate and Leopold. When it was over they were all feeling very mushy and emotional. "Their love is so pure!" Roselie gushed.

"That's love right there. Giving up everything just to be together," Esme sighed with a big smile.

Alice picked out another chick flick and popped it in.

--

"Sometimes I worry that I'm wrong for Bella," Edward said as they walked through the forest to the car.

"What makes you say that?" Carlisle asked.

"Just the things that Charlie said to her," Edward said uneasily. "He blames her being a vampire on me."

"Well we all know that it wasn't you," Carlisle said casually, "so it really doesn't matter what Charlie has to say. The bottom line is that he will never accept you as Bella's husband because he is still sore about what happened when you left. Don't worry about it, Edward, he'll come around."

"But what if he doesn't? What if he torments Bella about this?"

"Bella has made her decision," Jasper assured him, "and I'm sure that nothing in the world will change her mind."

"Edward, don't worry about what Charlie thinks," Emmett advised.

"But you didn't hear the horrible things he said to her! He made her cry! He's breaking her heart about this! I mean what kind of father rejects his child when she was that vulnerable?! ...besides mine."

"Look, Edward, not everybody is as understanding as you'd like," Carlisle told him. "I'm certain if I told my father about becoming a creature of the underworld, as he so eloquently put it, I'd be running for my life! Just be glad that Charlie didn't try to burn Bella alive!"

"Maybe it's better this way," Jasper suggested, "I mean it is really horrible that she was rejected, but maybe this is better for them in the long run."

Edward could see that pressing the subject was pointless so he agreed and remained silent. He started getting lost in thought but was jerked roughly back when he heard something spray and felt strings on his head.

--

Edward stumbled into his room around three in the morning to find Bella passed out on the sofa. She grunted a hello as he came in.

"How was your night?" Edward asked, pulling silly string from his hair.

"Hot," Bella said, "each one of those strippers was h-o-t."

"S-strippers?!"

Bella started laughing as Edward's face darkened with jealousy. He sat heavily on the bed and pouted. "Sweetheart I'm kidding," she promised.

"You'd better be, or you might just be short a bridesmaid!"

"Alice told me it would get you going," Bella said with a grin, moving from the sofa to the bed. "I love it when you're jealous."

"Why?" Edward cried. "I'm at my worst when I'm jealous!"

"Because," Bella said, sitting on his lap and wrapping her arms around his neck, "you get that cute little pout, and it is just another reminder of how much I mean to you."

"If you need assurance you just need to ask," Edward reminded her. "I adore you, Bella Swan. Hah, just think, tomorrow your name will be Bella Cullen."

Bella smiled and kissed Edward lightly, "I love the sound of that."

Edward lowered Bella lightly to the bed and they rested in each other's arms.

"How did I get so lucky?" Edward asked, as the sun rose.

"You were patient," Bella said, "and you actually waited for me to find you."

Edward kissed her cheek and then her neck. He held her tight and inhaled her sweet scent. He knew how much pain she was in over the wedding because of him. If he hadn't left her back then...if he had stayed to keep her safe...Charlie wouldn't hate him. Normally, Edward wouldn't have minded as much but Charlie openly hated him in front of Bella. He made Bella feel bad. There was also the horrible things he had said to Bella when she poured her heart out to him.

_If she never knew you, she would have never felt this pain._

It was so hard to see her like this. He couldn't see her in so much pain because of him. He squeezed her tighter. "I love you Bella, I love you so much."

--

Isabella Marie Swan, do you take Edward Anthony Cullen to be your husband?

It was a sentence that played in Bella's imagination for the longest time. She would hear those words, look into Edward's eyes and said I do, softly but surely, and then Edward would smile at her and before they were told they could kiss, their lips would meet.

But things don't always go according to plan. Bella looked up at the stained glass window at the back of the church. Jesus looked down at her. He seemed to be mocking her. She was a vampire now. She was a demon of the underworld. Maybe it was her fate to be unhappy. Roselie had once told her that there were no happily ever afters for their kind.

But everything was perfect. Her dress was beautiful and flawless. Her hair was done up perfectly with little pearls woven in. She looked at the veil she held in her hands. It was so soft and beautiful. It sparkled in the sunlight, just like she did.

Alice and Esme had looked breathtaking in their powder blue bridesmaids gowns. Carlisle had never looked more handsome in his black tux with the powder blue tie and vest. Emmett looked about ready to burst out of his tux but he still looked charming. The Cullen men managed to look stunning in the plain black tuxedos.

Except for one. But then again, Edward would have looked as dazzling as always. Not that Bella knew. She hadn't seen him. Nobody had.

With a yell, she threw her bouquet up the aisle. She was seated on the blood red carpet of the alter, surrounded by lilacs and white roses. Her dress was bunched around her knees and her shoes laid still on the step beside her.

Stupid, lying vampire.

Alice nervously approached her as silent as she could be. She sat beside her and they both sat in silence for a moment. Briefly, Alice wondered if Bella was going to lash out at her. They both looked beautiful, sitting alone at the alter.

"Bella, I'm sorry," Alice said finally, "I was supposed to make everything perfect."

"Everything was perfect," Bella murmured, "everything was beautiful and perfect."

"I'll strangle him with his own necktie!" Alice growled.

"Don't bother, it won't work," Bella sighed, resting her head on her knees. She closed her eyes and didn't bother to fight with the tears. She had never felt so miserable. Edward saying goodbye to her in the forest was nothing compared to the pain she felt now. At least then they had only been involved for a short time. They had been through so much together. He put her through hell and she did the same but they still stuck together.

"It was his idea to get married in the first place," Bella grumbled, "I told him no, I don't want to. I hated the idea of getting married and for good reason! If I knew he was going to just up and leave me like this I wouldn't have bothered!"

"Carlisle will find him, don't worry. At least he's most likely safe."

"I'd rather he be in danger. At least then he'd have a good reason for not being here."

Alice didn't say anything. She had a point. She was pretty sure that Edward's deranged father had nothing on Bella right now. She had a good feeling that Bella was going to give him the verbal assault of a lifetime. Then she would leave and never come back. That made Alice scared. What if this was finally it? What if after everything, this is what would make her leave.

"Bella, please don't leave us," Alice begged, "we all love you so much. Edward is just being a royal ass but please don't leave."

Bella smiled weakly at the little pixie like girl beside her. "I won't leave you," Bella promised, "you're my dearest friend, Alice. I know that I can always count on you to show up to important events like, oh, say, weddings."

Alice hugged Bella tight. "I'll always be here for you. And who knows, maybe he has a good excuse."

"Doubtful," Bella muttered. She kept seeing the events unfolding in her head, even though she didn't want to. She had left for the church around noon with Alice and Esme. They changed in the basement and gushed over how beautiful they all looked.

Carlisle and Emmett were supposed to be with Edward, getting ready. Guests had started to arrive around one thirty and the Cullen family started to panic. By then Esme knew that Edward was missing. Carlisle had told her that much and he told her not to tell Bella. Jasper found out, naturally, while he had to calm Carlisle down. Emmett made a quick sweep over the town of Forks and the beaches in La Push where Edward had liked to go lately.

He had gotten back just as Alice was making her rounds. When she saw Emmett's disheveled appearance and felt the forced calm Jasper was putting on Carlisle, she knew instantly that something was wrong. Quickly and quietly, Emmett told her that Edward was MIA. Before Alice could throw a fit, Jasper put the calm over her too.

It was moments before the big moment. Bella waited outside of the sanctuary doors, wondering where her bridesmaids were. Roselie stood behind her, pins in her mouth and thread on her hip, fixing her hair. "Hold still," she ordered as Bella once again turned her head to look for any signs of her new family.

Finally they couldn't wait any longer. Esme was the lucky one who had to tell Bella that her fiance was missing.

"Just remind her that he is safe," Carlisle said in an eerie calm voice, "Alice would have seen if he was in danger."

"I should have seen this coming!" Alice grumbled. Jasper put his hand on her shoulder and she felt the unwelcome calm spread.

"Jasper, why don't you go with Esme," Emmett suggested, "I think Bella is going to throw a fit."

"...sure," Jasper said hesitantly. Like everyone else in the room he didn't want to be near Bella when she heard the news.

Bella had been delighted to see Esme but her delight faded instantly when she saw her face. "What's wrong?" Bella asked.

Esme opened her mouth to speak but failed. She led her off to the side and took a deep breath. "Edward isn't here."

"What?"

"He was with Emmett and Carlisle getting ready and they left him alone for a few moments and when they came back he was gone. He's safe...just missing." Esme said with difficulty, already feeling Jasper's effect on the room.

The calm seemed to have no effect on Bella. Her eyes flashed. "What." She repeated in an icy voice.

"Oh, dear, I'm sorry," Esme said hugging Bella.

"Alright," Bella said finally, breaking the hug. "That's just fine. Stop trying to calm me down, Jasper it won't work."

"Clearly," Jasper muttered. He came up behind her and sat her down in one of the folding chairs.

After the guests had been told that once again the wedding was cancelled, Bella went to the alter and waited.

--

"She hasn't moved," Alice said, fidgeting with her fingers. She was still dressed in her formal dress, as were Carlisle and Esme. Emmett had changed before going to look for Edward again.

"She's just been left at the alter," Esme reminded her, "she'll be like this until Edward comes back with a damn good explanation."

They all winced as they heard something crash. Bella had thrown something, but they didn't know what.

"If he doesn't want me then fine, I don't want him!" Bella stormed out of the sanctuary and stopped when she saw four vampires. "What are you guys still doing here?" she asked.

"Well someone has to make sure you don't rip the place apart," Alice said with a shrug. Bella folded her arms and sat in one of the metal chairs. "Bella, are you going to be okay?"

"I suppose," Bella muttered, "I can't promise that _he_ will."

She didn't notice Jasper was behind her until she felt his cold hands on her shoulders. Gently, he began rubbing tension from her muscles. She didn't feel like resisting. "Don't kill him," Jasper said calmly, "you'll regret it later."

"No I won't," Bella lied.

"Yes, you will."

Bella didn't argue. She felt too relaxed. Jasper did give the best massages.

--

Bella was alone again. She liked it that way. She walked down the aisle, letting her fingers drift over the flowers and polished wood on the pews. She knelt down and picked up her bouquet. She could smell the sweet roses and she held them against her nose for a moment. She heard footsteps behind her but she didn't move.

"You're late," she said finally.

"I know."

She didn't want to look at him. If she did, she might kill him, or worse, forgive him.

"I know I can't apologize," Edward said softly, "and I don't expect you to forgive me. In fact I'd rather you hated me for this."

"Well you might just get your wish," Bella whispered coolly.

Edward took a step towards her and sighed. "Bella, will you at least look at me?"

"No."

"It isn't because I don't love you. I do. I love you more than anything in the world."

"Hmph,"

Edward watched her continue towards the alter to pick up her shoes. She didn't look back at him. She didn't see that he was dressed in a dress shirt and black pants, as if he had been there all along. She didn't want to see his face.

"So why now?" Bella asked finally. "If I recall getting married was _your_ idea."

"I know, and I do want to marry you Bella. At least I think I do."

His last words cut through her and burned in her mind. He thought? Just the other night he was sure. What had changed? Bella's hands began to shake and her eyes burned. Her gloved hand clenched into a tight fist.

"You think?" She repeated quietly turning to face him, " You think?! Edward if you were having doubts you should have told me yesterday!"

"I know," Edward agreed. "But yesterday I was absolutely sure that I wanted to marry you."

"What could have possibly happened in twenty four hours to make you change your mind?"

"I am sorry. I never wanted to hurt you like this."

"Yet here we are," Bella growled. She shook her head. "You know what, fine. I don't give a damn what changed your mind. I guess getting married was a bad idea after all. If you can't trust me enough...if you can't talk to me then a marriage wouldn't work."

"I'm not the same man you fell in love with," Edward said. "He's gone. Forever."

"You're right here!"

"No, Bella I'm not," Edward argued, "I am not Edward Cullen anymore. I don't know _who_ I am! Bella I used to be calm and collected. I used to think everything through! The only time I had cried was when I lied to you about not loving you! Now I'm a mess! I second guess everything I do and I cry at least once a day if not more! I hear voices in my head. I hear _his_ voice telling me that I don't deserve to be happy. I see the pain in your eyes when you think about how I have ruined your life!"

"I never thought that!" Bella defended. "Edward I have never..."

"Charlie was right, Bella. If I had left that day and never returned you would have been safe. You would still be human and most likely in a healthy relationship with Jacob!"

"Edward you haven't ruined my life! You've made it better than I could ever imagine it could be!" Tears were in her eyes now. Instead of ripping him to shreds, Bella found herself trying to keep him with her.

"You know what I'm feeling, Bella. I know you can read my emotions. So you know why I am saying this."

"Yes I can read your emotions Edward but not clearly! I can feel your sadness in my own heart but that doesn't tell me anything!" Bella cried. "We've been through everything together! You can't walk out on me now!"

"If I had died back when I was supposed to you'd be safe and happy. My father was the one that took away your humanity, and for what? Me. My father hated me and you suffered because of it. Now look what has happened. You're standing there looking more beautiful than ever without your family. Because of me you have lost so much."

"This isn't about Charlie! This is about us!"

"He was right," Edward said angrily, "he was right about me! He was right to say you shouldn't marry me! I forced you into this, Bella. I am a horrible person for doing that. I selfishly kept you when I was hurting you!"

"YOU'RE HURTING ME NOW, EDWARD!" Bella screamed.

"I can't love you," Edward said quietly, "Bella, I have to go away and find who I am. I have to understand why I can't live with myself. I have to find peace. You should forget about me."

"You've had 100 plus years to soul search! So why now?"

"When my father kept me for those months I lost who I was. I questioned everything and everyone. I realized that I am wandering aimlessly, hurting people as I go. I hate myself Bella. It's like that song says, 'you've got love yourself before you could ever love me'. I have to at least like myself before I can even begin to love you properly."

Bella looked down at her bouquet. The roses looked happily at her. She closed her eyes and sighed. "Fine, go find yourself. I won't promise that I'll be here when you get back."

She walked by him, shoving the bouquet into his chest and brushing him with her gown. Edward looked at the flowers.

"Do you understand why I'm leaving?" Edward asked.

"I really don't give a damn anymore," Bella said. "Edward I can't keep waiting for everything to be perfect. I thought everything was perfect. I had everything I could ever want. I thought you felt the same, and I really wish that you would have talked about this with me yesterday, hell even this morning."

"I'm sorry, Bella. I really am."

"Yeah," Bella whispered. Her voice was filled with tears.

"I love you, Bella."

Bella sighed and pushed the door open. Barely, Edward caught her soft I love you too.

--

Carlisle silently helped Edward pack. There were a lot of questions burning in his mind that he couldn't find the voice to say. Edward didn't answer them even though he could hear them.

"I'm going to miss you," Carlisle said.

"Are you really?" Edward asked, zipping up his bag.

"Edward you're my son but most of all you're my best friend."

"There's more," Edward said knowingly.

"You've always been very rational. This is just...unlike you."

Edward sighed. "Something happened to me when my father took me. I honestly got to the point where I was forgetting you and Bella and everyone. It all felt like a wonderful dream. I can't give you a rational answer because I don't have one."

Carlisle nodded and pulled him into a tight hug. "Take care of yourself, alright." Carlisle pulled away and dug into his pocket. He took a gold card from his wallet and pressed it into Edward's hand. "Please be safe and responsible."

"I will," Edward said, tucking the card in his pocket and hugging Carlisle again. "Please take care of Bella. She means everything to me."

"I will," Carlisle promised. He patted Edward on the shoulder and pulled away. "Call and check in from time to time or you'll have two angry women after you."

Edward winced at the memory of Esme's wrath after the last time he had left. "Yeah, I will."

They walked down the stairs together. Edward gave everyone hugs goodbye and stopped when he came to Bella. She looked lovely, dressed in a plain white t-shirt, jeans and her hair was in a loose scrunchy over her shoulder.

"Be safe," Edward said quietly. He touched her cheek and Bella turned away. "I won't expect you to wait for me."

Bella didn't say anything. She didn't look at him and she fought against the tears that stung her eyes. "Yeah," she said finally but she wasn't sure what it was for.

Edward gave her hand a squeeze before leaving without another word. She heard the engine of the volvo start and Bella ran upstairs to the room she used to share with him. She threw herself on the bed and cried into her pillow.

As Edward drove he could hear her cries from inside the house and feel her pain in his heart. He knew that he couldn't feel emotions like she could, but this one felt so real. He focused on the shaded road before him. He didn't know where to begin to look for himself. He stopped to get gas. While he held the pump he saw Charlie pull up to the pump opposite him.

Police Chief Swan glared knives at Edward. They didn't speak but Edward could hear Charlie's thoughts. The hatred for him with stronger then ever. Charlie had a new reason to be angry. Even though he vowed to never see Bella again, he had heard about the wedding.

_Was it worth it? You destroyed her and then leave her_.

"You're right," Edward said quietly. "I did destroy her, and if I could go back I would have never left her in the first place."

Charlie looked confused and alarmed at Edward's sudden comment.

_It's like he can read minds_

You have no idea, Edward thought. He got back into the car and drove off. He obeyed every law of the road, knowing that Charlie was just itching for an excuse to lock him up, until he reached the interstate.

Then he drove. He drove until he ran out of gas and had to stop again.

--

"Bells we're going hunting, wanna come?" Emmett asked. Bella shook her head no, her face still burried in the gold pillow. Emmett sat on the bed and put a hand on her shoulder. "Come on, it'll be fun and you can release some stress."

"Let me starve to death," Bella moaned into the pillow.

"Come now don't be like that."

"Leave me alone," Bella mumbled.

A few hours later Bella's solitude was once again interrupted. She felt someone lay down beside her. The sweet scent told her that it was Roselie. She didn't speak. Neither of them did, but Bella felt really grateful that she was there.

TBC

Please don't kill the writer! lolz. I have the ending written already and I really love it. It's a few chapters off yet but still, it's good.


	9. Chapter 9

DC: I don't own it

Thank you to my reviewers! So yay nobody was terribly angry with me for making Edward into a first class jerk! I still love him though, not as much as Emmett but ah well. Team Edward! Woot! Anyway moving on. A little bit of OOCness for Carlisle but meh, I can't imagine he'd take Esme being irritable with him very well. He seems like a spoiled husband like that.

Oh, and do you guys think Carlisle would be any good at that Trauma Center game for the wii? My friend and I were talking about how it would be funny if he absolutely sucked at the game and pointed out all the inaccuracies because he's a brilliant surgeon. Whereas Emmett can effortlessly beat the game. Random scenarios are fun.

Chapter 9,

Of three things Carlisle was sure: First, it is possible for a vampiress to cry for a week strait. Second, Esme was in mother hen mode and would only leave Bella alone when asked. Third, one man do wrong all men suffer.

"I think I might kill him myself," Emmett growled to his brother and father. The three Cullen men were sitting on the sofa with their arms folded and sour expressions on their beautiful faces. The Cullen women could be mistaken for a sorority they way they flocked around Bella. Even Roselie, who used to turn away, was caring for her almost sister-in-law as if they had been friends all their lives.

"Nobody deserves to be treated that way! I don't care who it is!" Roselie snapped when Emmett made the casual observation.

"Bella needs our help, just because your emotional maturity can't grasp that doesn't change it!" Alice had snapped at Jasper when he asked why she had spent all of her time in the bedroom with Bella and her female family.

Carlisle had been spared, in Jasper and Emmett's wounded opinion, because Esme had hardly spoken to him.

So now the surly boys were sitting on the sofa watching Chicago with disinterest. Jasper was glaring at his nails, Emmett sat with his arms folded and Carlisle was just scowling.

"Maybe he didn't have it coming!" Emmett complained. "Maybe it was his own business to pop his gum!"

"There is nothing wrong with popping gum," Jasper agreed, "Miss Snippy was way too sensitive!"

"I'm sure one of her friends had just broken up with her boyfriend and that was why she got so angry."

"Carlisle Cullen a little sympathy wouldn't kill you!" Esme snapped from the hallway. Carlisle winced at her tone. He opened his mouth to respond but Jasper and Emmett dove on him.

"No! You'll just make it worse!" Jasper hissed.

"I swear to god Carlisle if you further piss her off I will never speak to you again!" Emmett threatened.

"Okay, Okay! Get off of me please!"

"When you boys are finished wrestling, could one of you go get us more tissues? We're on our last box," Alice said from the stairs.

"You guys still have a box left, isn't that enough?" Emmett asked.

"No, Emmett, it isn't enough! Now GO!"

The three men scrambled to their feet and ran out of the house so fast they put Edward's volvo to shame.

--

Esme sat on the couch with a sigh. Carlisle eyed her warily. "I don't know what to do, Carlisle. Bella can't stop crying and she refuses to hunt. It's only been a week so I'm not terribly worried about that, yet. Her will power still isn't where I'd like it to be yet because she's still so young. Gosh, I just can't believe he left. Men can be so insensitive sometimes," Esme said, "I mean usually you can talk him out of these things."

"Are you saying this is my fault?" Carlisle asked coolly.

"Don't get so defensive I was just making an observation!" Esme defended.

Carlisle heaved himself off of the sofa and paced around for a bit. "Edward isn't right," he said with a sigh, "something in his brain is...off..."

"He seemed fine though," Esme argued.

"Yes, but Edward is also very good at hiding his emotions."

"Did you try to stop him?" Esme asked.

"No," Carlisle admitted calmly. Esme glowered at him "look, Edward has thought about this for a while. He wouldn't hurt Bella unless he absolutely had to!" Carlisle defended quickly.

"You helped him didn't you?" Esme accused with narrowed eyes.

"I may have given him a credit card," Carlisle mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck like he always did when he was nervous.

"Limited at?"

"Erm...that's not what's important."

"You gave him the unlimited gold card didn't you?" Esme guessed coolly, folding her arms and giving Carlisle a look.

"Well it's not like he'll go crazy and buy everything in sight! And it's not like we can't afford it if he does! I've been a top surgeon for about a century now. Don't worry, Esme."

"You know I'll worry," Esme sighed, "you know how I get when he's gone."

Carlisle opened his mouth to say something when Bella walked by silently. "Hey Bella, how are you feeling?" he asked.

"I'm...tired."

"You haven't fed in a while," Carlisle reminded her, "do you want to go get something?"

"No, I'm not thirsty."

"Bella you need to feed or you'll get weak."

"Good," Bella said softly, "I'll get white eyes and then I'll die."

"Edward wouldn't want that," Carlisle said. Esme pushed him with a glare. "What?"

"I don't give a damn what Edward wants!" Bella said angrily, rounding on Carlisle. "He can just disappear forever for all I care!"

Esme put her arm around Bella's shoulders and, as if they had been summoned, Alice and Roselie appeared near her as well. All of them turned angry eyes on Carlisle. Their cold glares shifted to Emmett and Jasper as they came in.

Jasper could feel the tension from his wife, sister and mother, the anger from Bella and the unease from Carlisle. Both he and Emmett turned narrowed eyes to their father.

"What did you do?" Jasper asked icily.

"Nothing!" Carlisle cried. This wasn't supposed to happen. He was the father figure for crying out loud! Someday he would have to subject Edward to this torture.

"Let's go to Seattle for the day, hon."

"We'll get some shop therapy," Alice said with a comforting smile.

"Yeah," Roselie agreed, "we'll get manicures and pamper ourselves."

"I don't really want to go," Bella mumbled.

"You've been moping around for too long!" Alice declared. "We're going to go have some fun!"

"It's useless to fight you isn't it?" Bella asked with a sigh.

"Pretty much," Alice grinned.

So Bella allowed herself to be pushed into the yellow porche and Alice took her place behind the wheel. She pulled out of the garage and within seconds they were on the highway.

--

Edward found himself in Chicago in the dead of night. His nightmare began and ended in the city of his birth. One hundred and eight years ago he was born and the nightmare began. He found himself in the graveyard standing over the small tombstones belonging to his mother and himself.

"Mom..." he began but he didn't finish. His eyes caught another stone. Edward Henry Masen.

Edward felt his breath quicken. His hands balled into fists. His marble fist collided with the stone with as much force as Edward could muster. It turned the stone into dust and made a crack loud enough to raise the dead. He looked up at the sky and was thankful it was clouded over. With tears in his eyes he hit the ground over and over again. When he finished he stood and walked to his own tombstone. He raised one leg and kicked it. All but the base had been reduced to dust. He disappeared in a flash and returned just as quickly. He set a bouquet of roses against Elizabeth Masen's tombstone.

"I love you mom," he whispered. "I'm sorry."

Without another word he left as the rain began to fall.

--

Bella felt tired. The Cullen girls had gone to a night club when they got to Seattle because the mall was closed. They got in with no problem. The bouncers took one look at them and were breathless. Alice and Roselie fit in perfectly among the dancers, while Esme and Bella took a seat off to the side, ordered some drinks, and watched them. Esme danced occasionally and Bella was forced to. Alice refused to let her be a wallflower. She had disappeared into the bathroom around midnight as her being became consumed by a powerful sadness and rage. It took all she had not to put her foot through the wall.

When morning came and the clubs closed, they checked into a hotel for the sole purpose of using the shower. They laid around for the hours before the mall opened. Bella told them that she was having fun but she was sure nobody was convinced. She was such a horrible lair.

Hours later she found herself in a salon with her family. Alice was getting her hair trimmed with Roselie while Esme and Bella got their nails done. Bella was like a zombie. She answered the questions the friendly woman doing her nails asked but Esme could see she was only there in body.

When they were finished, Esme took Bella out into the main mall and waited for her daughters. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Bella answered. "I'm fine."

"You're a horrible liar."

"I know."

"Sweetheart, you can't let this destroy you."

"Who said anything about _letting_?"

"You know what I mean," Esme said firmly. "Bella, sweetheart, I won't let this take over you. I miss your smile."

Bella smiled. It was fake. Esme pulled her into a gentle hug.

"You've always felt like one of my daughters," Esme said, "it hurts me to see you in pain."

"He was everything and now I have nothing! He doesn't love me enough to stay, or at least promise me that he'll come back! He lied, Esme! He told me we'd be together forever!"

"I know, sweetheart, I know."

Bella held onto Esme tightly and cried into her shoulder. She heard Alice approach first and then Roselie. They all silently decided to go. Still crying, Bella followed.

--

"Hey how was the mall?" Carlisle asked when they got home.

"Lovely," Esme answered.

"Where's Bella?"

"By the river."

"Well at least we know she can't drown."

"Really nice, Carlisle," Esme grumbled.

"What?"

Jasper and Emmett snickered as Esme walked out rolling her eyes.

--

Bella had found the one place in the small town of Forks where she wouldn't be found. Edward's closet. She sat in the massive closet, hugging her knees, and sobbing silently. She wore headphones connected to his iPod. She had been surprised to find that he didn't just have classical and oldies in his collection.

This was like something out of a bad movie, something that wasn't real.

_I tried so hard to tell myself you're gone_

Bella couldn't stop crying. She wasn't sure why anymore. She wasn't sure of anything anymore. Edward's love for her had been a lie, so what else was?

_Where'd you go? I miss you so._

Sometime between her tears the song had changed. The beat thundered in her ears and kept time with the heart she used to have. She clenched her fists. She didn't want to wait until everything unraveled. Her phone buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out and flipped it open.

**Im still okay tell Carlisle**

_I'm stuck here waiting, no longer debating_

Bella flipped the phone shut and stood up.

_When you come back I won't be here and you can say where'd you go, I miss you so..._

Bella stepped out into the room and listened. Carlisle was out of the house, at work most likely, Esme was in the living room with Roselie and Jasper. Emmett was out hiking with Alice.

Bella walked to the end of the hallway where there was a small window just big enough for her to fit through. She opened it and leapt out, landing lightly in the nearby tree. She jumped down and took off into the forest, not really caring where she was headed. If Edward could run, so could she.

--

Edward had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach like he usually did when Bella was doing something reckless. He picked up his phone and sent her a simple message of Be Safe.

**F You**

Real Nice

**dont talk 2 me about nice**

Youll forgive me someday

**maybe**

I love u Bella

Edward sighed sadly when she didn't text back. Not that she had a reason to. He had been completely horrible to her and let her down when she needed him. He put the phone back in his pocket and leaned against his knees. He wished that he had a plan.

--

When Bella was discovered missing, the Cullen boys suddenly remembered various engagements.

--

Bella found herself in La Push. She laughed at the irony. It had been her escape the last time Edward had left. She sensed someone behind her. She had a fairly good idea who it was but she didn't speak, she waited for them to reveal themselves.

"So he actually did it huh?"

"No," Bella answered the familiar voice. She hugged her arms lightly. She could feel Jacob Black behind her, the heat from his body radiated against her back. He was a foot or so away from the feel of it.

"Then who?"

"Long story," Bella answered.

"I heard what happened, at your wedding."

"I'm not surprised," Bella sighed.

"Aren't you going to look at me?" Jacob asked with a laugh in his voice. "I wonder if you make a good looking bloodsucker?"

"Keep that up and I won't," Bella replied lightly.

"I'm sorry," Jacob said. "Let me see you."

Bella turned. Jacob was momentarily breathless. Her hair blew in the wind and the sun sparkled on her pale skin. She looked at him with dark eyes and felt instantly nervous and very vulnerable.

"You were cuter when you were human," Jacob said with a sigh.

"Okay and on that note..." Bella said walking towards home. Jacob stopped her with one hand and laughed.

"It's only an opinion, I'm not saying you're not cute now."

"So Charlie told you huh?" Bella asked, walking to the edge of the cliff and sitting.

"No," Jacob said sitting beside her. "He told Billy that you were stood up and that he ran into the leech at the gas station."

"I see," Bella whispered.

"Aren't you going to chastise me for calling your boyfriend a leech?"

"Not this time," Bella sighed, "I don't care right now."

She glanced over and caught sight of the place where she and Edward had sat days before their wedding, and down below where they had made love on the beach.

"What is it?" Jacob asked, following her gaze.

"Nothing."

Bella drew her knees to her chest and sighed into them. She didn't want to cry again. She was tired of crying. Jacob put his arms around her and offered her his shoulder. He petted her hair gently and rested his cheek on her head.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

"He went to find himself," Bella said quietly, "something happened a few months ago that changed him."

"Like what?" Jacob asked.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Why?"

"Because it's between Edward, me and his family," Bella said quietly.

"Well Edward is a fool for leaving you," Jacob told her, "he'll realize the mistake he's making."

"I hope so," Bella grumbled. "I've given up so much for him! I mean I wanted to. I wanted to become a vampire to spend forever with him. Everything was perfect until it happened."

"It makes it hard to follow your rants when I don't know what _it_ is," Jacob sighed.

"A demon from his past," Bella said, "a vampire that Edward knew once. He put him through hell for months and I couldn't save him. Anyway everything was wonderful. He was going to change me after our honeymoon. We already had it planned out. We would sit on our bed and he would hold me tight. He said he would bite me on my hand or my neck. I thought it would have been romantic if he bit me on the lips. While kissing me. He laughed and said that wouldn't work, and it would hurt too much. The lip is more sensitive than the neck or hand."

"Why the hand?" Jacob asked.

"James bit me there once and Edward had to suck out the venom. He said it was the most frightening experience ever because he thought he would lose control and drink all of my blood. I remember in the hospital he told me..." Bella laughed at the memory, "...he laughed weakly and said wow I must really love you. Anyway, after he bit me he would stay with me. He would hold me tight while I suffered the intense pain and then when it was over, he was going to show me how to hunt."

"Hunt animals?" Jacob asked.

"Yes."

"So how did it happen?" Jacob asked with mild interest.

"The other vampire...bit me to make Edward suffer. Compared to a human or a werewolf, Edward is very strong. But he is average compared to another vampire. He's more tactful than physical. That's Emmett. Anyway the other vampire completely overpowered him and bit him."

"Wait, one vampire bit another?"

"Yes, and he released venom into Edward's body, which led to paralysis. He made Edward watch as he turned me. He bit me and I remember he smeared some of my blood on Edward's lip before leaving with him. When Carlisle and the rest of my family came it was too late. The venom had spread too far, so all they could do was sit with me and comfort me the best they could. We really came together as a family before growing apart."

"Apart?"

"Carlisle didn't know what to do or where to find Edward, so, frustrated, he fought with Esme more and more. Alice became so fed up with waiting that she and the rest of us left to find him. Emmett hunted nonstop which turned out to be a blessing because...well...I was a newborn and he gathered a lot of blood."

"Animal blood," Jacob clarified.

"Yes, of course. Deer and bear mostly. But being a newborn I didn't have nearly as much control as any of the others. When we found Edward again...I thought everything was going to be fine. We told Charlie...well I did...and Edward was there to comfort me. Charlie basically said he never wanted to see me again."

After Bella finished speaking, they were silent for a long time.

"So," Bella said after a long silence, "hows that imprinting coming along?"

"Ha-ha," Jacob muttered, "I haven't found her yet."

"...how funny would it be if it was a him?"

"Shall I push you off this cliff now or later?" Jacob asked.

"Later I think," Bella said.

"So, do you have any special powers?" Jacob asked, stretching and laying down on the hard ground.

"Kind of. I can feel what Edward feels if it's strong enough."

"How strong?"

"A week or so ago the girls took me out to cheer me up and around midnight I felt so consumed by sadness and anger that I nearly destroyed the bathroom wall. When he was missing, I kept feeling deep sadness and despair. I don't know exactly what happened to him...he wouldn't tell me everything...but I know it caused him great pain," Bella's voice turned softer and sadder. She hugged her knees and rested her chin on them. "That's why I was so confused when he told me he was leaving. When I felt lost and confused I always wanted to stay near the people I loved."

Jacob shrugged. "I dunno, sometimes Billy is the last person I want to be around when I am confused. But then again I find my comfort in my pack. Sam usually knows what to do. Are you sure you can't tell me more about what happened to him?"

"All I can tell you is that psychologically, the vampire that took Edward hurt him severely. When he came back he kept insisting that he didn't deserve to love me or have me."

"Then that's why he left," Jacob said simply. "He'll be gone until he feels that he deserves you. Hell it could take weeks it could take years."

"I'm surprised at you!" Bella said with a grin, "and here I thought you'd be making your move."

"Nah," Jacob said with a shrug, "you're more fun to chase when you aren't so vulnerable. Besides, what would you do if I kissed you right now? Or proclaimed my love."

"I dunno, punch you in the jaw?"

"Exactly," Jacob shrugged, "and I figure now you have enough strength to actually _do_ something besides hop around blaming me for you own masochism, and I happen to like my jaw where it is thank you very much."

Bella laughed at this. He did have a point though. She was strong enough to actually hurt him.

"If you weren't so hurt and vulnerable I would be all over you in an instant, Bella, I promise. So I'll bide my time and wait for that moment where you realize that you are completely over Edward Cullen."

"What makes you so sure I'll come back?" Bella asked.

"Past experience," Jacob reminded her. "I almost had you, and if it hadn't been for that suicidal vampire we'd probably be talking about what movie to rent or something like that."

"You're still as cocky as ever," Bella teased.

"Yeah, and you love it."

Bella sighed and shook her head. She looked at the setting sun and closed her eyes.

"Back when I saw you two last..." Jacob began hesitantly, "...when I saw you last Edward looked at you the same way I did. Like you were the answer to his prayers. I don't want to think that all that could go away in such a short time. How long has it been anyway? Six months? Seven? It doesn't matter. I don't want to think that love like that can fade so quickly."

"What are you saying, Jacob?" Bella asked quietly.

"I'm saying that vampire is in love with you and he's just lost."

"Lost?"

"Yeah, lost, and I'm willing to bet my life on the fact that once he realizes that he'll _stay_ lost without you by his side he'll be back."

Bella took a moment to process what was going on. Was Jacob defending Edward and telling her to keep her faith in him? There had to be a catch somewhere.

"Okay, you must be sick or something."

"What?" Jacob asked, his eyes wide and confused.

"You and Edward promised each other a dirty war for my love. You forcefully kissed me...technically twice...and you both kicked below the belt several times and here you are trying to restore my faith in him?"

"Don't you want to believe that he'll come back?" Jacob asked, slightly confused, "Because if you want to believe that he doesn't love you I'll try to talk you into that."

"No, I don't want that," Bella muttered.

"You silly city girls, you don't know what you want."

Bella sighed and pushed him playfully. It felt good to smile again. It felt even better to feel light and airy instead of heavy and depressed. Jacob could be right, but he could be wrong. Bella knew for sure that she didn't want to put her faith in Edward anymore. She didn't want to cling to his memory. At that moment she wished that he had never entered her life, but felt guilty for wishing such things.

"So can we still be friends? Even though I'm a vampire?" Bella asked.

"I suppose it's a possibility," Jacob grinned. "Hey guess what!"

"What?"

"It's later!"

"What? ACK!" Bella yelped as Jacob gave her one good push and she fell off of the low cliff into the water. He looked down at her as she popped out of the water and laughed.

"WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!"

"BECAUSE YOU SAID I COULD!"

"I WASN'T SERIOUS!"

Bella leapt out of the water and climbed back up the cliff.

"Aw, you look good wet."

Bella responded by pushing Jacob into the ocean. As he fell he grabbed her wrist and she ended up falling with him. They laughed as they made their way to the beach, throwing seaweed and sand at each other. It was the first time in a long time that the pain Edward left behind faded. She knew that it would come back when she left, but for now, Bella was happy just to laugh again with an old friend.

TBC

As usual I ask that the writer not be harmed lolz. I'm finding myself once again in that area between two events in the plot where I need filler scenes to avoid this being _too_ rushed. Ah well. Whatever. Review and enjoy!


	10. Chapter 10

DC: I don't own it

Thank you to those that reviewed! This is an Edward/Bella fic for those who asked. Things are going to happen along the way but I won't say what. The next couple chapters will come quicker because I had a day without internet so I couldn't do anything I was supposed to...so I spent my day writing and playing Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney...which leads to random outbursts of OBJECTION!

Chapter 10,

When Bella returned home she felt better than she thought she would. Esme gushed over her the moment she returned and checked her from head to toe to make sure she was okay.

"Oh, Bella, we were so worried about you! Alice couldn't see your future and we thought something bad had happened!"

"I went to La Push. I ran into Jacob."

"Oh, well that's fine then. Could you do me a favor though?"

"Yeah," Bella said hesitantly, wondering if Esme was going to forbid it.

"Could you let me know before you go next time? Or Alice? She gets really scared when she can't see your future and it makes me worry."

"Sure, no problem," Bella agreed. It was harmless enough and Esme's sweet face softened with relief when she promised. Esme hugged her and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"Is that a smile I see?"

Bella nodded and smiled again. "Jacob talked me down."

"Really? I hope he behaved himself."

"He was a gentleman," Bella told her, "well except for pushing me into the ocean."

Esme laughed and ruffled her hair. "You smell like salt and werewolf."

"I should probably shower," Bella said with a laugh, smelling the salt. The werewolf she didn't mind.

"But he did behave right? I mean the last thing you need is a man taking advantage of your vulnerability."

"He promised that he'll behave until the moment I've gotten over Edward and then he'll make his move," Bella said with a laugh. "He recognizes that right now if he were to kiss me he _would_ have a broken jaw. He actually kept trying to convince me to keep my faith in Edward."

Bella said the last part quietly and uneasily. She rubbed her arm slightly like she usually did when she was uncomfortable.

"It is important to keep faith," Esme agreed. "Once you lose faith you don't have anything left."

"I'm going to go take a shower," Bella said, breaking the uneasy air that had settled in the room. She walked upstairs to her room. She peeled her clothes off and tossed them into the hamper. She went into the large bathroom and sighed. She turned on the hot water and pulled the glass door closed. She used the shower this time, but it was no secret that she and Edward really enjoyed the whirlpool bath.

There was a small shelf on the wall in between the bath and the shower that held various shampoos and body washes. Bella reached for her strawberry shampoo and body wash. She grabbed a loofah off of one of the small hooks and tossed it into the shower. She looked at the almost empty shelf. Edward had taken his body wash because it was almost new, but left the shampoo that had a little left in the bottom of the bottle. He had also left his cologne and after shave by the sink. Bella had wondered, when she first saw the electric razor he had gotten from her as a christmas present, if he planned on returning with a bronze beard.

Shaking her head, Bella stepped into the hot water and wet her hair. She squeezed some red scented gel into her palm and worked it into her hair.

_You missed a spot._

_Well will you be a gentleman and get it for me?_

_I'll get it for you, but it's hardly being a gentleman._

Bella squeezed her eyes closed and hugged her arms. She bit her lip and promised her self not to cry. She had wasted too many tears on him. That's what she kept telling herself anyway. She didn't want to cry. She wanted to keep it together, to go one day without crying.

"Bells! We're going hunting! Wanna come?" Emmett asked through the door.

"Yeah, give me a minute."

She felt calmer than usual. She smiled and shook her head.

"Thanks, Jasper!"

"No problem!"

She washed the soap from her hair and ran some conditioner through it. She washed up and turned the water off. She dried off and dressed quickly in sweats and a t-shirt. She put on tennis shoes and went down to meet the boys.

--

Edward was leaning against the snow with a bloodless bear near him.

"You know it's a shame the Polar Bears are going extinct," his hunting partner said with a sigh. "They're so delicious."

"Then why do you still hunt them?" He asked mildly.

"Well, they're a once in a while hunt. And besides, how often do I get to see you anymore? What has it been, a year? I missed you Edward."

"I missed you too, Tanya."

The strawberry blonde smiled at him and patted his shoulder. "So what brings you up here?"

"I dunno," Edward sighed, "I was just driving and this is where I ended up."

"Well, we're all glad to see you again. How is your family?"

"They're fine," Edward said, "they probably want to skin me alive but they're fine."

"Even Carlisle? Man you must have really messed up."

"I left Bella, my fiance" Edward told her. "I was a real jerk about it too."

"Well it could have been worse," Tanya said with a shrug, "you could have left her at the alter or something."

"...something like that," Edward mumbled. "OW!" He was sent flying as Tanya's fist collided with his face.

"Edward you jerk! I hope you apologized and offered her a lifetime of servitude! That's one of the unforgivable sins!"

"Thank you, Tanya, I didn't feel bad enough," Edward grumbled, sitting up and rubbing his cheek. They stood up and started walking towards home.

"So why did you do it?" Tanya asked. "Did she piss you off?"

"No, never."

Edward launched into a brief recall of his father and the months he had suffered and how it left him wondering who he was.

"Well I hope you find yourself, and soon, otherwise you'll be living the life of a bachelor."

"You think so?"

"Oh come on, Edward, this girl probably thinks that you don't love her," Tanya moaned, "for a genius you sure are thick! I mean if _I_ was the one left at the alter I'd kill you myself after crying my eyes out for months. Consider yourself lucky if she even wants to see you after you get back let alone love you."

"Do you think she'll move on?" Edward asked.

"Probably, with time. So are you going to go back home?"

"Not yet," Edward said quietly, "I still haven't found what I need."

"What you need, Edward, is to get laid. Badly. That's your problem right there! You're so sexually repressed!"

"How did this get to be about my sex life? I'll have you know that for a few weeks before leaving I had a very very good sex life with Bella."

"A few weeks? Good lord Edward! Roger and I have been rockin the box spring for about a year now. And when I say rockin, I mean rockin."

"You remind me of Alice, you know that right?"

"God I miss her," Tanya sighed, "we got along so well."

"This is just the kind of stuff she'd tell me. I still don't want to know."

"So she told you about the time she and Jasper made steamy love in the snow?"

"Eew! No! No! No! No! Ack my ears! She's my sister!"

"Not biologically my friend, and it's perfectly natural for a married couple to bow chika wow wow from time to time. Geez it's a blessing Carlisle and Esme managed to master how to be so silent or you'd be completely traumatized."

"Why do I keep talking with you?" Edward moaned.

"Because deep down Edward you love to hear the disgusting details that make you see your relatives in a different light. Just be glad I didn't tell you about Emmett and Roselie with the whips and chains."

"I'M LEAVING!"

Laughing, Tanya ran after him and they ended up racing back to the village.

--

Carlisle ran down the halls of the hospital to the O.R. The resident on call jogged beside him, panting details of the accident.

"It's Chief Swan," the resident told him. "Car accident. Would you like me to contact Bella?"

"No," Carlisle said firmly, "no need to worry her until necessary."

He stuck his hands under the icy jet of water and washed for a few minutes. He turned and a nurse pulled rubber gloves over his damp hands and another pulled a long green coat over the front of his scrubs. One of the nurses put a hair cap on his head and he put on a mask.

"Report," he said firmly, walking into the room where Charlie Swan laid on the table.

"Blood loss and unstable breathing. His heart beat is strong. Vitals look stable but not up to where we'd like them."

"Alright," Carlisle said, looking Charlie up and down. He took a deep breath and he could smell the blood. It smelled clean, just a hint of alcohol, but not nearly enough to impair his driving. Their big concern was the large gash on his forehead and the bullet wound in his stomach. "What is this from?" Carlisle asked.

"Pursuit. We've got the other guy in the next room."

"I'll check on him in a moment," Carlisle said. "He'll need stitches here, make sure the wound is clean. While you work on that, nurse, I'll work on the bullet wound."

"Yes, doctor."

It took Carlisle only a few moments to take the bullet out and calm the bleeding. Charlie was stitched up and on his way to recovery within no time. Carlisle told the nurse he would be in to check up before stripping the gloves and coat to put on another set for the next patient.

--

"Bella, it's Carlisle. Where are you?"

"I'm in La Push with Jacob," Bella answered, "I told Esme and Alice," she added quickly.

"No, it's not that." Carlisle rubbed the bridge of his nose. Even though Charlie was going to be fine, telling his daughter, who had a tendency to overreact was something he didn't want to do. "Listen, Bella, your father was in a car accident and was brought in."

"WHAT!"

He heard Jacob in the background asking what was wrong and Bella told him.

"We're on our way," Bella said. "Is he okay?"

"He's in recovery right now. Just a head wound, a broken arm and a minor wound in the stomach. The other guy is worse."

"I'll be there soon,"

"Alright."

They said their goodbyes and hung up. Carlisle left his office and went into the large room full of beds. Charlie was resting in one and the criminal in the one next to him with his hand cuffed to the bed.

Carlisle watched with mild amusement as Bella skidded into the room. "Did you run all the way from La Push?"

"Yeah," Bella mumbled. She looked at Charlie, who was still asleep. She sat in one of the plastic chairs by his side and waited for him to wake up.

"Is he going to be okay?" Jacob asked. Carlisle nodded.

"I'm pretty sure he'll make a full recovery,"

"Where am I?" Charlie mumbled as he woke up.

"Welcome back, Mr. Swan," Carlisle said with a smile. "You were in a car accident and shot."

"Shot?!" Bella cried.

"What is she doing here?" Charlie asked weakly.

"I called Bella after you got out of surgery and she came right over."

"Jacob?"

"Hey Charlie, glad you're awake."

"Dad, are you okay?" Bella asked.

"I'm fine," Charlie mumbled, glaring at the sleeping criminal.

Carlisle chuckled and told him that he would be released in a few days when he was sure that everything was healing properly.

--

"I don't need any help!" Charlie grumbled as Bella walked him into the house. "I'm fine!"

"Dad, you have a broken arm, a stomach wound and a head wound. You could barely take care of yourself when you were perfectly fine."

"Have some faith in me alright," Charlie growled.

"Let's not start down that road," Bella snapped, "now stop being so stubborn."

She sat him down in the kitchen and went to make some dinner. She was pleased to find that he did actually have food in the cabinets. She put a pot of water on the stove and took out a box of macaroni. After turning on the heat she sat down across from him.

"You're still mad at me aren't you?" Bella asked.

"Yes," Charlie grumbled. "Bella I can't stand watching you make mistakes."

"Edward..." Bella trailed off. "I never wanted things to end this way. If I had known..."

"You would have stayed human?" Charlie asked.

"I didn't have a choice in that," Bella answered, "Edward's father changed me."

"Carlisle?! I'll kill him!" Charlie cried angrily.

"No! No, it wasn't Carlisle. And even if it was I doubt you could kill him."

"What do you mean by Edward's father?"

"His biological father. The other vampire that I told you about. He bit me to get to Edward. It wasn't the way it was supposed to be. Edward and I were going to wait until after our honeymoon."

"You should have stayed human," Charlie insisted.

"Yes, dad, thank you. I know. I screwed up big time."

Bella stood up and poured the noodles into the water.

"He left to find himself," Bella said. "He said he didn't know who I was anymore and he couldn't love me until he at least liked himself. I don't think it helped that he knew how upset I was after my fight with you."

"Well," Charlie coughed and shifted uneasily, "I overreacted. I just thought that you were too forgiving when it came to that boy. It was hard enough knowing that you were going to marry someone I thought was unfit for you and then you told me that you've given up your humanity. Bells, I overreact when it comes to you. You're my little girl and I want nothing but the best for you. If you'll forgive this old fool, I'd like to stay in your life."

"Oh, dad," Bella came over and hugged him gently. "Of course I forgive you."

Charlie hugged her back with his good arm and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I get stupid when it comes to you."

"Did you tell mom?" Bella asked.

"Yeah and she laughed at me and called m a paranoid jerk," Charlie growled.

"Haha, that sounds like mom."

"So, I saw you with Jacob," Charlie said, a bit of hope in his voice.

"Don't go there," Bella said, pouring the noodles into a strainer and then mixing in the cheese. "I'm off men right now."

"Understandable. It took me years to get over splitting from your mom."

"Well, at least you know I love Forks, so I'll stick around to take care of you."

"You honestly love this place?" Charlie asked. "Without Edward?"

"Yeah," Bella said pouring a bowl for Charlie and bringing it to him. "It's cloudy so I can go out during the day and appear human."

"What are you talking about?"

"I react to direct sunlight, but I don't die from it. Vampires basically look like they're made of a million diamonds in the sun."

"Ah, cool."

"It's nice. Made it a little difficult for Alice and Jasper when they were taking me to Phoenix that one time."

"When?" Charlie asked around a mouthful of noodles.

"Oh right, you don't know about that."

"About what?!"

With a laugh, Bella told him about James and the escape to Phoenix. She ended laughing about how Alice fabricated the evidence at the hotel so well that she could have sued them. Charlie laughed about that, and stopped when it hurt. Bella helped him into the living room. She disappeared back into the kitchen to make some tea.

"Carlisle says you have to drink some herbal tea," Bella said when Charlie refused. "You want to get better, don't you?"

Charlie grumbled but took the mug. Bella sat in the easy chair and crossed one knee over the other.

"There's something different about you, Bells."

"Aside from the whole vampire thing?"

"You're not a little girl anymore," Charlie said with a sigh. "You're graceful and mature. You're handling this whole mess very well."

"Well I wouldn't go that far," Bella admitted. "I think I drained Forks of it's tissues."

"I heard about that," Charlie said with a small laugh, "Nancy down at the store said that every other day those Cullen boys were in buying boxes and boxes of tissues."

"I'm surprised they wanted to speak to me afterwards," Bella said with a laugh, "their wives were pretty short when them for a while."

"I can imagine. One man do wrong all men suffer. It's a rule that I'm sure they've learned pretty well by now."

"Well I can understand why," Bella said with a shrug, "I mean you know what they say, chicks before dicks."

Charlie laughed and nodded. "So you're close with them?"

"They're like the sisters I've never had. Esme treats me just like one of her own daughters and Carlisle watches over me like he does the others."

"So are they really his children? I mean I understand the facade for the town but honestly?"

"Carlisle is over three hundred years old. He's the eldest, by far, and the others were changed mostly in the thirties."

"What about Edward? How old is he?"

"Physically he's seventeen. But he was born in Chicago and 1901."

"Wow. So you'll live forever then?"

"Yep, there are only a few ways that vampires can die."

"How?" Charlie asked.

"Torn to shreds and burned and starvation."

"Cheery," Charlie said with a yawn.

"Time for bed," Bella decided.

"I'm not tired!" Charlie argued.

"Yes you are, now are you going to come quietly or do I have to carry you to bed?"

"You can't carry me!" Charlie said. Bella raised an eyebrow.

"Super strength, dad. Made stronger because I'm still a newborn."

"I don't believe you," Charlie said with narrowed eyes. Bella shrugged and bent down. She lifted him effortlessly and marched him up to bed, ignoring his protests the whole way.

"I can turn iron back into powder by clenching my fist, I'm sure I can lift a two hundred something man."

"That's just not right," Charlie grumbled. "I'm supposed to be the strong one in this family."

Bella laughed and tossed him his pajamas. "Call me if you need help...unless it involved bathing or changing. Then I'll call Jake or someone."

"Gee thanks Bells."

"No problem, glad to help! I'm going to run back home for a bit to get some things, I'll have my cell with me so call if you need me. If you start bleeding or something...call Carlisle."

"You still queasy around blood?"

"No, but I'm still a newborn and it's been a week since I hunted last. Carlisle doesn't want me to be around blood until I'm at least a year old unless I'm well fed. It may take longer. Carlisle is the only vampire I know that has never tasted human blood. But that's because he's had three hundred years of practice. Oh! I take that back, Roselie hasn't either. I think that was because she had Carlisle, Esme and Edward to keep her in check."

"Even Alice? That sweet little thing?"

"Yep. But she wasn't changed by Carlisle. She actually met him years later. It's a miracle she didn't lose her mind and feed on everything that moved! She was alone when she was changed," Bella shuddered. "So was Carlisle. Only he lived during a time when people were burned for witchcraft and stuff like that."

"Did it hurt?" Charlie asked, pulling his covers to his torso.

"Like hell," Bella answered quietly. "But I had support. Esme rarely if ever left my side and at one time all seven of us were in the living room and they were telling me that everything would be okay. It didn't help that Edward had just been kidnapped and they were all worried sick about him. It took us months to find him."

"Where was he?" Charlie asked.

"Chicago. In the house he grew up in."

"Poetic."

"Very," Bella sighed. "Get some sleep. I'll be back in about an hour."

"Alright, drive safe sweetheart."

"Who said anything about driving?"

"Wait! Bella what are you talking about!"

"Get some sleep, Charlie," Bella said, kissing his cheek and turning off the light on her way out.

--

"Where are you going?" Alice asked.

"I'm going to stay with Charlie for a while. He's recovering and he needs help. Besides, it felt good being there. Familiar. Not that here isn't. But I have a lot of memories with Edward here that I need to get away from for a while."

"That's understandable," Alice said. She looked at Bella's suitcase. "Wow you packed a library."

"I love to read, you know that."

"And I suppose you won't be sleeping," Alice agreed. "I forgot that Charlie probably sleeps."

"It'll be strange having quiet nights."

"So is Charlie more comfortable about...us?" Alice asked.

"I think so. I mean he understands at least that we won't hurt any of the unsuspecting townsfolk."

Alice laughed and put her arm around Bella's shoulders. "But dear sweet sister, that is the most fun of all!"

Bella laughed and gave Alice a hug. "What would I do without you?" Bella asked.

"You'd go absolutely insane. More insane then they thought I was!"

"Probably," Bella shrugged. She zipped up her bag and put it over her shoulder. "If you're bored, stop by and see me."

Bella was on her way out when she ran into Emmett and Carlisle. "Oh, Bella, are you going to be busy Friday?"

"Just watching over Charlie. Why?"

"We're going to go get a Christmas tree," Carlisle said with a cheerful grin, "we'd like you to come. I mean we usually go as a family."

"I'd love to! I'm sure Charlie would be glad for some time alone."

The Cullens bid her a safe couple of weeks and Esme sent a very large pot of chicken soup with her. Bella thanked her. Unlike Edward, Esme actually was a very good cook.

--

Carlisle was delighted when his phone rang and it was Edward. He picked it up on the second ring. "Hey Eddy!"

"What have I told you about calling me that?" Edward asked dryly.

"Haha, I just love to tease you."

"How's Bella?"

"Fine," Carlisle said. He momentarily debated over if he should tell her how much time she was spending with Jacob. "Charlie was in an accident so she's looking after him."

"So he's forgiven her?" Edward asked eagerly.

"It would seem so, yes. Bella told Alice that he seems comfortable with our situation. Good thing too, Esme wants him to join us for Christmas. Some sort of family thing she has planned."

"That's so great. I feel so bad for ruining things with Bella and her father."

"Edward, you didn't ruin anything. Charlie seems like the kind of guy who will have a problem with any man that tries to date his little girl...and leaving her a couple years ago probably didn't help your situation either."

"Can't we just forget about that?" Edward moaned. "It was the biggest mistake of my life and I just wish it never happened!"

"That was your biggest?" Carlisle asked, raising an eyebrow. "I would think shattering Bella's heart into a thousand pieces _again_ would be the biggest."

"Don't start, Carlisle," Edward growled.

"I'm sorry. It's just Bella is like a daughter to me and you haven't seen what she's been like," Carlisle said, leaning back in his chair and propping his feet on his desk.

"She's pissed at me."

"To say the least," Carlisle agreed.

"She sent me a message telling me to eff off."

"Haha, that sounds like something she'd do! Can you blame her, Edward? Right now you are probably the last person she wants to talk to."

"Hm."

"Edward, where are you anyway?"

"I'm staying with Tanya for a while."

Carlisle stiffened. "I see."

"Not like that. She's engaged to Roger. You remember him?"

"The kid that used to throw snowballs at you? Yeah I remember."

Edward sighed at the memory and Carlisle chuckled. "Does Bella at least smile and laugh every once in a while?" Edward asked after a pause.

"Yes," Carlisle replied, "at first she just cried all the time but she's spending a lot of time with Jacob."

"Jacob? She ran to Jacob already?! She could at least wait a little while!"

"You expect her to wait for you, Edward?" Carlisle asked hotly. "I really don't think you have any say in who she spends time with. I'm glad you're trying to find yourself because let's face it you've been a mess since fall, but you could have waited!"

"But Jacob?! She ran to the werewolf that quickly?!"

"You make it sound like she's already sleeping with him," Carlisle accused, "and you have no right to be jealous, Edward. Whether or not you meant it, you gave her the message that you didn't want her anymore. If you didn't mean to let her know you don't love her then come back here and explain it."

"Yes or no, Carlisle, is she dating Jacob?"

"Come back and see if it bothers you so much," Carlisle growled.

"It doesn't bother me!" Edward lied.

"Yes it does. Did it ever occur to you that maybe you can't find yourself because you need Bella?"

Edward was silent. In anger, he snapped the phone shut. Carlisle slammed his phone down and swore to himself before leaving for his bedroom where he knew Esme would be.

"What can't your son just admit that he needs to come home?"

"More importantly, why is he always _my_ son when he's being just as stubborn as you?" Esme asked with a small grin.

Carlisle tugged on his tie, loosening it and eventually pulling it off. He opened the door to their walk in closet and hung his tie up with the rest of his collection.

"He's staying with Tanya and her family, and he seems to be getting better."

"That's good."

Esme watched him take off his button up shirt and purred when he was completely topless. Carlisle looked back at her with his head slightly cocked to the side. He took off his belt and started to unbutton his khakis. He pulled them off and grabbed his sweatpants.

"Dr. Cullen," Esme said from the bed, having put her book aside.

"Yes?"

"I've been feeling some pains in my chest and lower abdomen."

Carlisle raised an eyebrow. "Do I need to give you an examination?"

"I think so," Esme replied smoothly. Carlisle walked over to her and had her lay down flat. Carefully and slowly, he unbuttoned her blouse and pushed it aside. She was wearing a pink bra, much to his delight. She looked so good in pink. He ran his fingers along her collarbone.

"Tell me where it hurts," he whispered, kissing her.

"I love your bedside manor," Esme moaned softly.

--

Bella had been walking down the hall when she heard it. Edward was staying with Tanya. Beautiful vampire Tanya. The same girl who had had a crush on Edward. He was with her and happy.

"Hey Alice, what does Tanya look like?" Bella asked, trying to keep her tone casual.

"Eh, fair. You're way hotter."

"Alice, honestly?"

"Fine," Alice said. They went up into her room and grabbed one of her many photo albums. "Lets see here," Alice said flipping through the pages. "Ah, here. That's her."

Bella looked at the picture. Tanya was gorgeous. Her hair was long, blonde and it hung over one shoulder like a wave of gold. Her eyes were sexy and narrowed. Her lips were full and perfect.

"Oh for the love of...she's gorgeous!"

"She's high matiaince. Edward said that she's a lot like me."

"How well did he get along with her?" Bella asked.

Alice shrugged, "pretty well. In fact she had a huge thing for him when we lived up there. But then again, he's Edward. Every girl has a thing for him at one time or another. Why so curious?"

"Edward is staying with her. And he's happy." Bella's voice was laced with tears.

"Don't you dare run away," Alice said suddenly.

"Try and stop me," Bella said through tears. She turned and ran out of the room and down the stairs, passing a confused Emmett on the stairs.

"BELLA! WAIT!" Alice called running after her.

--

Bella sat in her old bedroom sobbing into her pillow. She knew Alice wouldn't look for her here. She smothered her cries with her pillow, thankful that she no longer needed to breathe. This was a nightmare. Worse than a nightmare. This she couldn't wake up from.

TBC

A little more Edward here but I'm planning on more from in Edward's head.


	11. Chapter 11

DC: I don't own it.

Thank you to my reviewers. The story is going faster than I thought it would. I haven't decided if that's a yay moment or not. I suppose it will be nice when Edward and Bella get out of my head with their soap opera fodder. :p

So some songs I had in my head during this chapter are:

Bella: When you're gone-Avril, I'm so sick-Flyleaf, Where'd you go-Fort Minor and My Immortal-Evanescence

Edward: Better than me-Hinder, Let you down- three days grace

Jacob: Last thing on your mind- Lights

Chapter 11,

Edward said goodbye to Tanya and her family. He got into his car and drove into the night and didn't stop until he needed gas around dawn.

_What am I doing? Everything calls for me to go back home. Back to Bella. But I can't. I can't hurt her. I can't keep ruining her life the way I am._

_You're disgusting you know that. You keep holding onto her when you push her away. She hates you. Everyone who comes into your life comes to hate you sooner or later._

"Stop it," Edward growled.

_You were right to leave. You probably would have ruined Tanya's life as well. Just like you ruined Bella's. _

_You ruined everything. You killed your own mother. You let her die while you begged the doctor to live._

Edward shook his head. He pulled over and screamed. He didn't really scream anything special. He just screamed. He clenched his fists and curled forward. "GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"

_I am you, Edward. I am that part of you that never lies_

"STOP IT!" Edward screamed, tears began spilling from his eyes, "YOU'RE DEAD! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Masen's voice felt so close. He could feel his strong arms around his shoulders, then around his neck. Edward felt like he was suffocating. He threw his head back an screamed at the top of his lungs.

_I'll never die, Edward. I'll always be here, reminding you of the monster you are._

"I didn't let her die," Edward cried quietly, "I didn't let mom die."

_Bella has moved on. She's with the werewolf now._

Edward got out of the drivers seat and moved to the back. He curled up and cried, muttering over and over again I didn't kill her.

--

"Bella? What are you doing here?" Jacob asked after finding Bella on his doorstep.

"Edward is with Tanya. Up in Alaska. He's happy! He's happy!" Bella cried. "He's happy with another vampire girl up in Alaska!"

"Maybe it isn't what you think," Jacob said, closing the door and walking across the yard with her.

"It isn't just that he's happy with a beautiful vampire, it's that he's happy!"

"You don't want him to be happy?" Jacob asked.

"No! I want him to be miserable! I don't want him to be happy with someone else!"

"And you don't want him to be happy with you?"

"I don't want him to be happy period! I'm still pissed off at him!"

"Bells, maybe you should calm down and think about this rationally."

"Maybe," Bella growled. They sat on the shore. Jacob leaned back against the cool sand. "What a great holiday season."

"What are you doing for Christmas anyway?"

"Esme wants to have a big family dinner. She's asking Charlie to come."

"Ah,"

"Why?"

"No reason. I just wanted to see you at least once on Christmas. Am I allowed to get you a present?"

"You know how I feel about presents," Bella said with a small smile, knowing that he, like Edward, ignored that fact. As she spoke, the diamond heart on her wrist sparkled, next to the little wolf.

"Remember when you said you couldn't be happy without him?" Jacob asked, taking her hand and turning it to let the diamond catch the light.

"Yeah," Bella mumbled. It had been just before Jacob kissed her for the first time. "You said I had never tried."

"Will you? This time?"

"Jacob..."

"I'm not going to take advantage of you when you're vulnerable," Jacob said, his dark eyes boring into hers, "but I'm not going to lie and say that I hope he never comes back."

"You really need to make up your mind, Jacob Black."

"What do you mean?" Jacob asked, sitting up.

"First you talk me into keeping faith in him and now you're telling me to forget about him."

"I didn't say forget about him," Jacob reminded her with a smile, "I just said I hope he doesn't come back. He'll always be a part of you. A mistake I hope you learn from."

"He wasn't a mistake!" Bella said angrily.

"Don't get mad!" Jacob snapped.

"I don't want to hurt anymore. I don't want to dwell on him but I can't help it. I keep hoping that he'll be there in the morning. That I'll close my eyes and when I open them he'll be sitting on the sofa reading, or I'll go into the bathroom to find him freshly showered and brushing his teeth or shaving. I miss everything about him! I miss his scent, his laugh and his voice! But at the same time I hate all those things! I don't know what to do, Jacob."

"Forgive him for hurting you and move on," Jacob said, brushing her cheek with his thumb. "Let yourself move on, Bella."

Bella looked at Jacob. He had always been so dear to her. Everything about him was familiar, his voice and his woodsy scent. The way his dark eyes sparkled when he laughed. He was so much like Edward but so different. They had always been her boys. Her best friends.

"Bella," Jacob said quietly, drawing closer. "Let him go."

Bella couldn't think clearly. She wanted to let go. She wanted to forget about Edward while never wanting to let him go. She didn't want to hurt anymore. Jacob promised her release. She felt the conflicting emotions raging within her. Faintly, she could feel Edward's pain in her chest, his desperation. But it faded quickly.

"Let him go, please, Bella," Jacob whispered. He drew even closer. She could feel his hot breath on her lips. He kissed her lightly, testing her reaction.

_I can't wait forever for you if you don't want me_

Bella let Jacob kiss her. She let his arm slip around her waist and one hand cup her neck.

--

Alice was sulking in her room when her phone rang. Jasper tossed it to her and she answered it. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's me."

"Edward Cullen I am going to kill you when I get my hands on you!" Alice growled.

"Yeah because that's what he wants to hear," Jasper muttered. Alice threw a pillow at him.

"Jasper's with you?"

"Yes," Alice sighed. "Edward come home."

"I need to talk to Bella, is she there? I can't reach her on her cell."

"No she isn't here," Alice muttered, "I can't find her which means she's probably in La Push."

"La Push!"

"Yes, Edward, La Push. She's probably with Jacob and that is why I can't see her!"

"You're angry," Edward sighed.

"Pissed beyond belief."

"At me?"

"No at Emmett. OF COURSE YOU!"

"You don't need to yell!" Edward grumbled.

"Oh I'll yell all I please!" Alice cried angrily, she was on her feet down and Jasper was trying to calm down her. "How could you do this to Bella?"

"I explained it to her! I needed to find myself!"

"Not that you jerk!"

"Then what am I being yelled at for?" Edward demanded.

"Tanya!"

"What about her?"

"Oh you arrogant bastard!"

"How am I being arrogant?"

"You talk about her as if it's no big deal! I have half a mind to come find you right now!" Alice was furious and Jasper was a little scared.

"What in the world are you yelling at me for?" Edward asked angrily. "I can't read your mind over the phone!"

"You're with Tanya now! That's what I'm yelling at you for!"

"What are you talking about? I left Alaska a few days ago!"

"No! You're _with_ Tanya! It's only been a month and you're already dating again!"

"WHAT?! WHAT GAVE YOU THAT IDEA?!" Edward bellowed into the phone. Alice held it at arms length.

"You told Carlisle that you were with Tanya and you were happy!"

"Yeah, I was staying with Tanya and her family and I was feeling better but that doesn't mean I'm dating her! She's engaged for crying out loud!"

"Oh right like I'm supposed to...wait...engaged?" Alice asked calming down a little.

"Yes, to Roger!"

"The kid that threw snowballs at you?"

"Why does everybody insist on remembering that?!" Edward grumbled.

"Oh crap,"

"What?"

"Bella thinks that you're with Tanya."

"With as in dating?"

"Um...yes."

The line was silent for a long time. All Alice could hear was an engine accelerating. "Bella, thinks that I don't love her."

"Well she thought that before she heard this, but yeah."

"Carlisle said she's hanging out with Jacob."

"Yes, Edward she is, and mind you she is very vulnerable."

Edward swore and threw the phone, letting it close on the seat. He may have broken it but he didn't care to check. He pulled over and turned the engine off. Bella thought that he had moved on.

_Did you honestly expect her to wait?_

--

Christmas came with a beautiful coat of snow. Charlie kindly declined Esme's offer. He told her that if for some reason Edward came home, he would probably throw a fit. Bella spent Christmas Eve with her father and made him a wonderful dinner and they opened their presents. She gave him a hug and a kiss before heading off to the Cullen house.

The house was warm and welcoming. The huge tree sat in the corner of the living room with brightly colored packages underneath. She saw Carlisle in the living room when she came in.

"Hey Carlisle."

"Hey stranger," Carlisle said, stretching. "How have you been?"

"Fine," Bella said with a smile. "Jacob and I went for a five mile walk around the coast."

"So you and Jacob?" Carlisle asked with a knowing grin.

"I'm not with Jacob," Bella sighed, sitting on the sofa.

"Has he kissed you yet?"

"Yes," Bella answered.

"Don't you think it's a little too soon?"

"I'm not dating him," Bella defended. "We just kissed and I told him that it was too soon."

Carlisle raised his eyebrows.

"Don't give me that look," Bella moaned. "I know you would probably rather see me with Edward, but I can't."

"Don't you love him?" Carlisle asked, fixing a band of tinsel. Bella rested her chin in her palms.

"I don't know. I love the memory of him. I love who I was before he shattered everything we had ever dreamed of."

"That's a little unfair," Carlisle sighed. "You can't blame him for being lost. I mean he spent months with his father who had him convinced that he killed his mother. Not to mention when it comes to you, Edward has always believed that you deserved so much better."

"But he could have told me before the wedding," Bella insisted.

"He could have. But you'll have to forgive him someday. He won't be gone forever."

"I'll forgive him someday," Bella sighed, standing and walking towards the stairs. She barely reached the first step when she was knocked over by Alice.

"No running in the house if you're going to attack people," Carlisle said from the tree.

"Bella! Ohmigod I've been looking for you everywhere!"

"I've been in La Push."

"For three days!"

"...yeah. Nothing happened."

"Edward isn't with Tanya!"

"What?"

"Edward isn't with Tanya! She's engaged to Roger!"

"Isn't that the guy Edward said used to throw snow at him?"

"Yes!"

Bella's eyes widened.

"Whoa, whoa, if you two are going to go at it let me sell some tickets and get a video camera," Emmett said from the stairs. Bella and Alice looked over at him and then at each other. Alice jumped up quickly and pulled Bella to her feet.

"So Edward isn't with Tanya?"

"I was surprised too!"

"But I heard Carlisle telling Esme that he was!"

"Yeah, well, Carlisle doesn't know the meaning of with."

"I meant he was staying with her," Carlisle clarified. "And if I had known you had heard I would have clarified. I had no idea that with had two meanings."

"That's because you're a man and you don't get these things."

Bella didn't say anything. She was aware of Alice insisting that Emmett was a pervert and Carlisle was watching with mild amusement. Did this change anything? Did Edward not moving on change anything? Did she feel anything for Jacob?

She hated the questions running through her mind. She rubbed her collarbone at the base of her neck instinctively.

"Hey Bella, where did you get the necklace?" Emmett asked.

"Yeah, it's so...interesting."

Bella looked down at the thin silver chain. At the end was a tarnished rose.

"Jacob gave it to me, well kinda. We found it on the beach when we were walking."

Alice grinned and Emmett shrugged it off with a simple, oh fun. "He likes you," Alice said.

"That's old news," Bella said with a shrug.

"You like him too," Alice accused with a sly grin.

"What's with the grin?" Bella asked.

"Bells, you've been grinning quite a bit lately."

"He's a good friend," Bella insisted. "I do care about him and there was a time when I had a small thing for him. Right now I don't want to get involved with anyone, Edward or otherwise. I'd go gay before going with another man."

"Men are pigs most of the time."

"Here we go again," Emmett sighed.

"There are some exceptions," Alice amended. She put her arm through Bella's and they walked out of the house towards the river. "Listen, Bella, I love you dearly and the last thing I want to see is you getting hurt again."

"I know, and thank you for looking out for me."

"So? What about Jacob?" Alice asked.

"He kissed me," Bella said plainly.

"And?"

"I kissed him back. Before you judge me know that I was feeling very vulnerable and I had just heard that Edward was happy, and I thought it was with another girl which made it worse."

"You don't want him to be happy?" Alice asked.

"Not at the moment," Bella shrugged. "I want him to be just a bit better than miserable."

"Well," Alice said, breaking a low hanging stick and dragging it through the icy water, "as his sister and dear friend I have to be mad about that. But as your sister, dear friend and a woman I say, right on."

Bella looked back up at the house. She got the feeling that the boys were going to be taking shelter. Esme or Roselie were bound to find out about the misunderstanding if they haven't already.

"I do feel bad for the boys though, I think we were a little harsh on them," Alice sighed.

"They'll understand someday," Bella assured her. "Besides, it's natural to hate their entire gender when a sister has been wounded by one."

"Cheers to that hon," Alice said with a laugh. "But I'm sure they're over it. I know Carlisle and Esme are back to...hem...normal."

"The doctor was in was he?"

Alice and Bella giggled.

"You really are my best friend," Bella said, giving Alice a side hug, "really."

"I'm just sad it took you this long to come into our lives! You've made everything so much brighter!"

"GIRLS! COME INSIDE!" Esme called from the house.

"YO PRESENTS!" Emmett boomed.

"Should we prolong this?" Bella asked.

"Nah, Emmett will hunt us down if he has to."

Laughing, the girls ran back to the house and within moments the entire family was seated in the living room. Bella looked at the pile of presents that seemed to have grown since she last saw them.

"Okay, Jasper it's your turn to be Santa," Esme said.

Jasper shot a wicked grin at Emmett who gave him a look back.

"Boys, behave."

"Okay, the first one is for Rosie," Jasper said handing his sister a medium sized box in green paper. "From Bella."

Roselie opened the package gracefully and her eyes lit up when she saw the shoes sitting pretty in the box. "Oh! Bella they're beautiful! Thank you!" the girls hugged and Jasper grabbed another parcel.

"Carlisle, this one is from Alice."

Carlisle unwrapped his first gag gift of orthopedic shoes. "Perfect! Just what I wanted!"

Bella laughed at Emmett's face when he unwrapped a pair of black lace underwear from Roselie. She winked at him and he nearly fainted.

Esme got Carlisle a few new books and he got her the new photo album she had been meaning to get and an art book.

Jasper presented Alice with a coupon book while contained coupons for massages, nights alone and all day shopping trips.

"You do understand me!" Alice cried happily, trapping Jasper in a tight hug.

Bella got Alice a manicure set and in return she was promised a manicure. Alice was delighted with the gift.

Bella had gotten a hand knitted sweater from Esme, a stereo from Emmett, CDs from Jasper and several books from Carlisle. Alice had gotten her a beautiful charm to go on her growing charm bracelet.

Much to everyones surprise, Edward had sent presents. He sent the usual outdoorsy gift to Emmett, and for Jasper he sent an antique gun from the civil war. He sent Roselie a gold necklace and tickets to the My Chemical Romance concert for Alice. He sent Carlisle a gag gift of diapers and viagra, and a beautiful arrangement of flowers for Esme.

For Bella there was an envelope. Bella opened it and unfolded a letter.

_Bella,_

_I miss you..._

Bella didn't read any further. She crunched the letter in one hand and threw it over her shoulder.

"Okay, so who's next?" She asked.

"The ending was really poetic,"

Bella didn't turn but she knew he was behind her. Everybody was very still. Esme was the first to move. She stood up and greeted Edward with a tight hug.

"We've all missed you," she said.

Everyone took their turn giving him a greeting hug. Emmett squeezed him tight and lifted him. "Missed you squirt!"

"Thank Emmett," Edward gasped. He turned to Bella. "Hey..."

He was cut off by Bella's right hook in his jaw.

"Okay, I deserved that," Edward mumbled, rubbing his chin. "Bella, please, can we talk?"

"No, we can't," Bella said turning away from him. She made to leave out back but Edward cut her off.

"Please,"

"No!" Bella turned but Edward cut her off again. "If you're trying to piss me off further, you're succeeding."

"Bella, I just want to talk."

Bella suddenly noticed that they were quite alone. The Cullens had vanished for their own safety.

"You have two minutes," Bella said folding her arms.

"...how have you been?"

"You aren't off to a great start," Bella said dryly.

Edward looked extremely uncomfortable. His eyes were darker but no longer had the white. His hair was messy and he looked uncharacteristically disheveled. Much to Bella's displeasure, he still smelled amazing.

"I heard you and Charlie patched things up," Edward said awkwardly.

"Yeah, he was in the hospital for a while. He needed someone to take care of him."

Edward caught the ice in her words. She wasn't like he remembered. He felt bad for changing her and hardening her heart.

"Are you with Jacob?" Edward blurted.

"That's why you came back?!" Bella asked angrily. "To see if I had run off to Jacob?"

"Have you?"

"What does it matter? As far as we're concerned it doesn't matter. You left me, remember?"

"I didn't...well I kinda did...but I told you why I had to leave."

"And did you find yourself?"

"...not really, no."

"So why did you come back?" Bella asked coolly.

"It's Christmas," Edward shrugged. "I missed everyone."

"And you heard that I was spending time in La Push," Bella accused.

"Well...I was curious about that but that isn't the only reason I came back."

Bella was mildly shocked at the way he spoke to her. He was so nervous and uncertain. Edward Cullen used to be able to mask anything he wanted.

"Nice necklace,"

"Found it on the beach."

"He's kissed you?"

"Once."

"So you two are together."

"Not yet," Bella said, shifting slightly but still staring him down with her flat expression. "You should be happy that I've been spending time with him."

"Really?" Edward asked, the jealousy was obvious in his voice.

"He spent quite a while trying to tell me to keep faith in you," Bella said.

"And did he do that before or after you made out with him?" Edward asked coolly.

Bella's eyes narrowed, and she thought about hitting him again. "You're unbelievable."

She pushed past him and went to leave.

"Bella..."

"What?" She asked, her hand on the door. "What can you possibly say to make me stay?"

"Do you love me?" Edward asked.

"Edward, I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"I can't find myself without you."

"I don't want to hear it!"

"Tell me you want me to leave and I will," Edward said.

"Do whatever you want, I don't care anymore," Bella said opening the door and leaving. Edward ran after her but her newborn speed kept her ahead of him. He slowed to a stop and bit his lip. He punched the nearest tree and didn't even flinch when it fell on him.

With a sigh he went back inside and locked himself in his room. He looked around the massive bedroom. Bella's clothes were scattered here and there. Her books littered the bed and the trash bin was filled with tissues. He grabbed one of her shirts, a blue t-shirt, from the back of the sofa and held it against his lips. Her sweet scent still clung to the fabric. He laid down on the bed and closed his eyes, pretending, as he inhaled her scent, that she was with him.

--

Jacob handed Bella another tissue and rubbed her back as she cried. "He's so stupid!" Bella sobbed into Jacob's chest.

"I know, I know. Men in love usually are."

"He only came back to see if I was dating you! He hasn't found himself or missed me so much he couldn't stand it anymore!"

"Jealousy makes people very stupid," Jacob reminded her. "What did you tell him?"

"I told him that we had kissed once. Once! That is no where near making out!"

"Bella, will you go out with me?" Jacob asked.

"What?" Bella asked, startled.

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

"Jacob..."

"I know how you feel about me," Jacob said, taking her hands, "and you know how I feel about you. So why don't we just give in already?"

"Because a month ago I was left at the alter by the man I loved," Bella said. "Jacob..."

"I know you're scared," Jacob said, brushing her cheekbone with his thumb. "I know you're terrified of making yourself vulnerable."

"I'm not making myself vulnerable!" Bella cried, pulling her hands away. "I _am_ vulnerable! Look at me! I'm a mess! I can't get involved again!"

"Can't? Or won't?" Jacob asked grimly.

Bella opened her mouth to answer but didn't have anything to say so she closed it again. It was a fair question. Sure she could give in and fall in love with Jacob and maybe end up engaged, ending in the same situation.

_Or you can trust in me_

It was Edward's voice, clear in her head as it once was whenever she did something dangerous. His velvet voice was so familiar and so calming. She saw his eyes in her mind, they were filled with pain at the idea of her dating again.

But, Bella thought, he left me twice already. Why should he have any say in who she dated? He released her. He may have wanted her to stay faithful and wait for him but he rejected her. Maybe if he had told her before the wedding that he was lost she would have supported him.

_So what is the difference?_

The difference, Bella thought sadly, is that he left you on the day of your wedding after promising to stay by her side.

"I'll end up hurting you."

"I don't care," Jacob said, taking her hands. "I realize that you're hurt."

"What if I hurt you like he hurt me?" Bella asked. "Jacob understand that I am unstable. I mean this would technically be a rebound relationship. You deserve better than that"

Jacob answered by brushing his lips against hers.

_Bella, please, don't leave me._

"But I know you are selfish when it comes to me, so you'll let me love you because when you're with me you can forget about him."

Bella's head was fuzzy. She felt Edward's voice in her head and his feelings faintly in her heart. She felt Jacob's warmth and his tenderness laced with promises to make her stop hurting. Once again she found herself between Edward and Jacob, her vampire and her werewolf.

She wrapped her arms around Jacob's middle and rested her head on his chest. "Please don't hate me if I hurt you," she whispered.

"I could never hate you," Jacob promised, kissing the top of her head, "I may just stop liking you for a while."

Bella smiled slightly and closed her eyes. Briefly, she wondered if that was how she really felt about Edward.

TBC

Enjoy! The next chapter will be all Edward's and what he does when he's finding himself.


	12. Chapter 12

DC: Don't own it.

Thanks to those who reviewed and added me to favorites! The author feels loved! yayness!

So as much as I love this story I'm kinda getting tired of it taking over! Darn you plot bunnies! But anyway, I can say that this isn't going to be one of those stories that just doesn't end and at the speed it's going, I should finish fairly soon. I realize I haven't given dear Edward too much page time and that may be because he's been annoying me lately what with his running off and what not. Characters these days...geez.

Chapter 12,

Edward was leaving as Bella came home. They didn't speak but it wasn't for lack of trying. Edward opened his mouth to speak but before he could make a sound Bella told him sharply that she didn't want to hear it. She went up to her room and curled on the bed.

So Edward left again. He didn't say goodbye to anyone but he left a note for Carlisle saying that he would check in soon. He drove again, listening to the radio and CDs. He looked at his dashboard. The newest addition to the car was Bella's photograph, taken the morning of their wedding with her hair under construction and dressed only in a button down shirt she had stolen from his closet. He touched the picture lightly with his fingertips and sighed.

"Soon, Bella, I'll be home for good."

He stopped for gas in Seattle and Spokane before realizing that he didn't have any idea where he was headed. He closed his eyes and took a deep relaxing breath.

"Okay," Edward said to himself. "I'll drive until I run out of gas and I'll just follow this road where it will take me."

"Kalispell...Montana..." Edward wondered allowed. Nobody seemed to pay any attention to him. It was cloudy and nice. He remembered the name from Carlisle's laundry list of places they could live that was cloudy. He looked down and noticed that his check engine light was on. "Crap," he muttered. He probably needed oil, and his tires could use some air. He pulled into the first chain garage he found. He was greeted with a friendly smile and he decided to get an oil change and a general checkup. He smiled to himself when he heard the mechanic inwardly drool over his volvo.

"How old is this car?" he asked.

"A few years," Edward said. The mechanic looked under the hood and raised his eyebrows.

"Have you had work done before?"

"My sister is a mechanic of sorts," Edward said, "I'm the car lover and she loves the innards."

"That's how it goes," the mechanic, a young man with jet black hair and smudges over his face, laughed. Edward nodded. "It'll be done in about a half hour or so. Feel free to stay in our lounge or wander around if you'd like."

"Thanks," Edward said with a bright smile. He headed down the nearest street, enjoying the sounds of the people around him. Mothers fussed about their to do lists while chasing after their children and the streets were filled with people rushing here and there. It was bigger than Forks, but had the same feel in a way.

He stopped by the park when he heard laughing children. They were precious little things, running around and having so much fun with very little more than sand and playground equipment. He remembered the rare times his mother would take him to the park. There weren't entire sets like the kids had today. Parks then were just open spaces where people socialized. But those were the days little Edward loved.

"Mommy! Mommy play with me!" A little redheaded boy chirped from the sandbox. His mother acknowledged him and said something to her friends before going to the sand and sitting on the edge.

_Mom! Mom play with me!_

_Okay Edward but only for a little while. Mommy has to make dinner._

Edward had once been the proud owner of a bright red ball a little bigger than his hands. He and his mother would roll it back and forth for what seemed like hours. Elizabeth would laugh when the ball rolled beyond his reach and he crawled after it. She would laugh, pick him up and carry him into the kitchen for dinner.

_Whatever happened to that ball?_

Edward figured that it was probably lost among everything he had ever enjoyed as a child. His father probably popped it to rub something in. Edward sighed and made to keep walking when a little red ball hit his foot.

"I'm sorry, mister!" a little boy squeaked running to get his ball. Edward bent down and picked up the ball. The little boy who came to get it was very blonde with big green eyes. His cheeks were smudged and he was missing a tooth.

"Here," Edward said, handing him the ball. The kid took it and held it tight against his chest. He could hear the boy's relief that he didn't kick it further.

"Riley! Get over here!"

"Thank you, mister!" Riley chirped before running off to the man who called him. Edward's marble brow furrowed when he heard the man who had spoken.

_What did I tell you about running off?_

_I'm sorry, father._

_Running after that stupid ball again? It's for children._

"Don't hit him," Edward found himself hoping aloud. Riley's father just took him angrily by the hand and marched off with his son trotting behind. While trying to keep up the ball slipped from the boy's little arm.

_I dropped my ball!_

_Too bad._

Edward could hear Riley crying in his head and he closed his eyes. He walked down the sidewalk, already picking the boy's house from his father's mind, and scooped up the red ball. He tailed the two, keeping their thoughts clear in his mind.

_What is he crying about? It's a damn ball._

The man had a harsh authoritative voice that made Edward shiver. Riley was obviously trying to keep from crying. Edward closed his eyes. He should have waited in the lobby of the shop. He felt involved now.

Riley and his father lived in a yellow house with chipped paint and a small lawn. His father drove a blue pickup and worked at the grocery store. His mother worked at the Laundromat down the street. From what Edward could hear, Riley was in trouble for getting a poor score on his math test and his mother was in trouble because it was already six and she wasn't home. It seemed that Riley's father, who was named Simon, was choosing to ignore the message telling him she would be late.

Edward looked at the time. His car would be done. He should go back and at least pay the bill before the place closed at seven. He had a half hour. Edward turned to go back when something caught his attention.

_She's finally home._

_Mama's back!...but father's already started drinking..._

Edward shivered. He wanted to block them out. Following was a mistake. He could see his own family in his mind. His own father drinking and his own abuse. He held on tight to the red ball.

"Where have you been? Huh? Dinner was supposed to be ready fifteen minutes ago!" Simon said from in the house. Edward could hear him perfectly and could hear the alcohol even better.

"I called and said I wouldn't be home until late!" Katie, his young wife said.

_She's let herself go._ Simon thought sadly.

"Get dinner started! Now!"

"Alright! Alright!" Katie was upset. Her boss was giving her more hours and she didn't know how to tell her husband.

He could see Katie in Simon's mind. She was a plain looking woman, long brown hair and green eyes. In Riley's mind she was much prettier. Probably because Riley's version of Katie had a beautiful bright smile and a sparkle in her eyes.

"Riley failed his math test," Simon announced.

"Oh," Katie said from the stove.

"Didn't you help him with his homework?" Simon asked.

_No. Riley and I watched movies and made some popcorn._

"Yes," Katie lied. "Simon, he's doing fine."

Edward winced as he heard Simon slap his wife. "MY SON WILL BE PERFECT!"

Edward knew he needed to go. Something bad was going to happen and he knew it.

"Not everyone is perfect!" Katie reminded him angrily. "He's just a child! He needs to spend his time _being_ a child!"

"He'll do what I say he'll do!"

Edward could hear Riley up in his room crying silently as he heard the fighting. He wanted to move. His feet seemed rooted to the concrete.

"Riley! Go down to the market and get my chips," Simon ordered.

"It's getting dark and..." Katie began but Simon threw an empty beer can at her.

Riley bolted out of the house. He stopped when he saw Edward. Silently, Edward held one finger to his lips. Riley looked back at the house and nodded.

"You found my ball!" Riley said happily. He ran over to Edward who knelt down and returned his ball.

"Take care of it, okay," Edward said, ruffling Riley's hair.

"Yes, I will try."

"Where's your coat?" Edward asked, noticing that it was still winter.

"This is my coat," Riley said. "Don't worry, I'm not cold."

_The store will be warm._

Edward took off his coat and put it around Riley's shoulders. "It's late, do your parents know you're out late?"

"My father wants me to pick up some chips from the corner store," Riley said. "Will you walk with me, mister? I don't like the dark much."

"Sure," Edward said.

_Run away while you still can, Edward. None of this will end well._

_Abandon him, just like you abandoned everyone else_

Edward closed his eyes and silenced the voices in his head. "How old are you?"

"Seven," Riley said. "I'll be eight in April!"

"Wow, you're getting old!" Edward said with a smile. Riley grinned.

"Yup. Mama says that I'm growing like a tree!"

Edward laughed softly. The expression had been altered to protect what little self esteem the boy had. "What is your name?" Edward asked.

"Riley," the boy answered, sniffing.

"I'm Edward."

"That's my grandpa's name!" Riley chirped. Edward laughed and shrugged.

"My parents were old-fashioned."

"How old are you?" Riley asked.

"One hundred and ten," Edward said with a grin.

"No you're not!" Riley declared with a big smile.

"Alright you caught me, I'm nineteen." Edward lied. He didn't know why he chose nineteen. Probably because seventeen was still underage.

"You look older than nineteen," Riley observed. "You look like you're in college."

"In between colleges," Edward admitted. It wasn't exactly a lie. He had three masters degrees in medicine and looking to get a fourth eventually for good measure.

Riley really enjoyed Edward's company and even though part of him begged him to run, Edward stayed and walked Riley home. The wind blew and Edward picked up a very familiar yet strange scent. He knelt down and put his hands on Riley's shoulders.

"Listen to me Riley, stay inside tonight. There is going to be a bad storm and I don't want you getting hurt. Promise?"

"Yep, I promise. I have to work on my math homework anyway."

The wind blew again and the scent was closer. Another vampire. This one wasn't friendly.

"Riley! Get in here boy!"

Riley jumped and instantly felt panic. He took off Edward's coat and pushed it into his hands. "You're a good one right?" He asked.

"Riley!"

"Yes," Edward answered automatically. He stood up quickly as Simon approached him. The man grabbed his son and pushed him towards the house.

"What were you doing with my son?" Simon demanded.

"I saw him walking to the store alone and he looked cold so I gave him my coat," Edward said smoothly. "I was worried that he was lost."

"I don't believe you! You're one of those perverts that rapes little boys! Well you leave my son alone! I'll call the cops!"

"No, you won't," Edward said coolly. "You're just like my father. You could care less what happens."

Edward turned on his heel and walked. He didn't even flinch when he felt wood shatter on his head. "Attacking a man from behind is very unkind," he said dryly. Simon was too stunned to move.

Edward kept walking until he caught the scent again, close to where he had been moments before. He turned and ran back to the peeling yellow house. The front door was open and Riley was screaming in his mind. Edward flew into the house and stopped when he saw Simon dead on the floor, his blood drained and some leaking onto the carpet.

"Mama!"

Edward ran upstairs and saw Katie on her son's floor. A wild looking vampire was approaching Riley.

"EDWARD HELP!" Riley screamed.

The vampire turned on Edward. He was small and average looking. His eyes were ruby red.

"Leave the boy alone," Edward growled.

"He's mine! Get your own!" the vampire snapped before lunging at Edward.

He wasn't very strong or fast. Edward beat him easily. The vampire laid on the floor for a moment before scrambling to his feet. "Get out of town and if I ever see you again I'll use you for kindling," Edward threatened darkly.

The vampire obeyed and scrambled from the room. Riley looked at Edward.

"Are there more vampires?" Riley asked.

"No more bad ones," Edward said quietly.

He could see his own face in Riley's mind, emphasis on his shadowed eyes and snow pale skin. "Are you really a good one?"

"I try to be," Edward said. Riley looked at him.

"What will happen to me now? Mama and father are dead."

"Well that depends," Edward said. "Where do you want to go?"

--

Riley was asleep in the passenger seat of Edward's volvo. Edward had left the money for his car in an envelope with a generous tip for the trouble. Edward drove wondering what in the world he was going to do. Riley had begged to come with him. He had no family left. His mother had died in his childbirth and that was why Simon hated him. Katie, his cousin, had been living with them after her family died. From what Edward heard from Riley, Simon had a deep physical attraction to his wife's niece and forced her to stay around by not letting her save up enough to live on her own.

It hadn't been a day and already Edward was starting to feel attached to the little boy. Riley had told him how ever since he was born he could always sense people's true feelings. That was why he trusted Edward. But what Edward appreciated more was how warm the boy was, and how he still found the strength to smile after growing up much like Edward had. He hadn't brought much with him. Just his clothes, a few photographs and his ball. He didn't have much else. Riley's arms closed around his ball. It had been left for him by his mother. It was her first and last gift to him.

"So why are you all the way here?" Riley asked sleepily a few hours later.

"I don't really know," Edward said, pulling into a Burger King for something for Riley to eat. "I was just driving until I felt it was time to stop."

"Are you a drifter?" Riley asked.

"Yes, in a way," Edward answered. He placed an order for a chicken tender kids meal.

"Don't you need to eat anything?"

"No," Edward said. "Not anymore."

"Thank you, Edward."

"You're very welcome," Edward said, handing him the warm bag. "Careful, they're hot."

Riley nodded and waited to eat. He was extremely well behaved, just like Edward had been when he was a child living in constant fear. Somewhere in South Dakota Riley showed him a picture of his mother. She was a beautiful blonde woman with stunning dark brown eyes that reminded him of Bella.

"She's lovely," Edward said. Riley looked at the picture of Bella.

"Is that your girlfriend?" he asked.

"Yes...sort of,"

"Sort of? How can someone be sort of dating?" Riley asked. Edward sighed, this boy asked a lot of questions.

"We had a big fight, to put it lightly."

"Did she dump you?"

"It was a little bit of both. I've been lost for a long time and I left to try to find what was missing," Edward said.

"Have you found it?"

Edward looked over at Riley, "I think I'm getting close."

--

Edward had an idea. He knew that he couldn't keep Riley with him forever although it would have been nice. The boy was already growing on him and he didn't like the idea of releasing him into the foster system. But he couldn't go back home and dump him on Carlisle and Esme (though heaven knows Esme would love to be a mother all over again).

He made it to Omaha before stopping again. He checked into a hotel and helped Riley bathe before putting him to sleep. While the boy was fast asleep Edward watched with a small smile. He petted Riley's straw colored hair and the boy stirred a little.

"Don't leave me with him..." Riley muttered in his sleep.

Edward looked out of the window and saw an office building for sale. His smile grew. He picked up the phone and dialed Carlisle's number.

"Hey! Happy New Year Edward!" Carlisle said happily.

"Same to you," Edward said quietly.

"Why so quiet?" Carlisle asked.

"I want to do something big," Edward said.

"...how much will it cost?" Carlisle asked.

"I'm going to buy a building first."

"...a building?"

"Yeah," Edward said with a smile. "A building."

--

"What are we doing here?" Riley asked as they walked into the four story building. A contractor followed them. Riley held Edward' hand tight and drew away from the man.

"I want to make the rooms on the third and fourth floors into bedrooms," Edward said, "I want the conference suite's floor replaced with wood and some basketball hoops installed. I need the break room expanded by three rooms and kitchen appliances put in."

"Yes, sir," The contractor said finishing his notes.

_Spoiled rich kid_

Edward raised an eyebrow and then looked down at Riley with a smile. The man gave him an estimate and Edward had Carlisle's approval. The construction crew started immediately. Riley was at first scared by the loud noises and strange men but soon grew comfortable around them and even wanted to help.

"I'll tell you what," Edward said, "you pick a color, any color, and we'll go paint."

"Can I? Really?!"

"Yes," Edward grinned, laughing as Riley ran to get the paint samples from the foreman. The bedrooms would be painted a pale shade of green, Riley's favorite color.

"Why are you building a big house, Edward?" Riley asked one evening over dinner.

"Well, I figure we're going to need a lot of space."

"For what?"

"People who need a place to go," Edward said with a smile.

"Why are you going to so much trouble for people you don't know?" Riley asked. He had never been around adults that would spend a small fortune converting an office building into a massive house.

"Because when I grew up I only had my mother and my father hated me. We're not so different, you and I."

"What happened to your mama?" Riley asked, swallowing his soup.

"She died a long time ago," Edward said sadly. "She was very sick."

"Is that why you changed?" Riley asked. "Into a good vampire?"

"Kind of," Edward said, "Carlisle, my new father, was a doctor that treated my mother. I was dying so..." he trailed off.

"Oh," Riley said nodding. "When was that?"

"August 1918," Edward said as casually as he would if he were talking about the weather.

"Wow! So you really are one hundred and ten!" Riley gushed. "That is so cool!"

Edward laughed and ruffled Riley's hair.

--

Edward came in early to start moving things in. He stopped when he caught an unfamiliar scent. Someone was here. He heard movements upstairs. They were slight, but he still followed them. He went up the stairs and down the first hallway of bedrooms. In the corner room he heard movement again.

Silently, Edward walked into the room and found a young girl curled under the tarps left by the painters. Edward watched her stir in her sleep and hug her arms. There was a dark bruise over her left eye and cut on her cheek. Edward could smell the tears that dried on her cheeks. He knelt down beside her and put one hand on her shoulder.

She jerked awake instantly. "I'm sorry," she said quickly. "I just needed a place to crash for the night and I was alone. I'm so sorry, please don't call the cops! I'll leave!"

She stood and wobbled. Edward steadied her.

"I'm not going to call the police," Edward said. "What is your name?"

"Elaine," she mumbled.

"Are you hungry?" Edward asked. Elaine shook her head no.

_Yes._

Edward steered her out of the room and downstairs to the new kitchen. He sat her at the table and poured her a bowl of fruit loops. "Any milk preference?" he asked.

"Just as long as it isn't whole," Elaine mumbled. "I can't digest whole milk."

"Sorry to hear that," Edward said, filling the bowl with skim milk and grabbing a spoon. He put the bowl in front of her and she looked at him nervously.

"Look, I don't mean to be rude, but what is the catch?"

"Catch?" Edward asked.

"Yeah, I mean nobody just gives a strange girl a bowl of cereal after she was caught trespassing."

Edward shrugged and sat across from her. "You look starved. Besides, you wouldn't have been trespassing, as you put it, if you didn't need somewhere to go."

Elaine didn't argue with that one. He did have a point. Edward smiled gently and stood up. "I'll be right back, I'm going to go check on Riley. Feel free to leave if you want."

Elaine sat frozen and Edward could hear her minds racing at the speed of light. After he left he could hear her nervous thoughts as she ate the cereal cautiously. Riley was waking up as Edward came in.

"Edward!" Riley said happily. Edward had to admit, it was nice being greeted so warmly. Riley leapt out of bed and ran to him. "Will we be moving into the new building today?"

"Yes, and you may have company. If she decided to stick around that is," Edward said. He helped Riley, making him awe and laugh when he showed his super speed.

"I wish I could do that," Riley sighed as Edward carried the bags out of the hotel. "Edward can I be a vampire too?"

"Afraid not kiddo," Edward said. "You wouldn't like it. Beyond the strength, speed and sense of smell there aren't any perks. You're actually in more danger."

"What do you mean?" Riley asked, taking Edward's hand as they crossed the street.

"Well for starters I can't go out in the direct sunlight. I don't sleep and I don't eat."

"What happens when you eat human food?" Riley asked, releasing his hand when they reached the other side.

"I have to cough it back up eventually," Edward said. "Same with drinks, but some vampires don't mind. My sister, Alice, will eat popcorn and other snacks because she likes the taste and doesn't mind visiting the bathroom afterwards."

"Eew."

"That's what I said. Bella is the same way, but only with comfort foods and only when she's depressed."

"Depressed? About what?"

"This and that," Edward said, deciding against getting into that long list created mostly by him. "It happens."

"How old is Bella?" Riley asked as they climbed the stairs to the kitchen.

"Only, eighteen. Physically. She'd be nineteen now."

"Oh."

The questions stopped as they approached the kitchen. Edward saw Elaine doing her dishes. She jumped when he came in.

"Ah, so you didn't run off after all," Edward said mildly.

"Hi! I'm Riley! What's your name?"

"Elaine," she mumbled nervously. "Are you going to call the cops now?"

"Nope," Edward said. "Unless you absolutely want to, but I don't want to go through the hassle of pressing charges and getting upset. Besides, you seem nice enough."

He made the last decision based on Riley. He could see that her heart was good and he didn't shy away from her. In fact he seemed delighted to have someone else to play with.

"You can, however, tell me why you came," Edward said, grabbing a new bowl for Riley and filling it with cereal and milk.

"I ran away," Elaine said. Edward opened the freezer and scooped some ice into a towel. He handed it to her.

"For your eye," he said when she looked confused. Elaine took it nervously and put it against her bruised eye. "You're welcome to stay as long as you'd like," Edward said.

"How much?" Elaine asked quietly.

"Nothing," Edward said. "If you could help take care of Riley from time to time that would be nice though. He would like someone else to play with. I'm afraid I'm rather boring."

"No you aren't!" Riley insisted.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Elaine asked.

_He wants something. They always want something. Nothing is free in this world._

"Because I had always wished for somewhere safe," Edward said kindly. "Where I could escape from the abuse and pain."

Elaine stiffened and Riley fell very silent as he chewed his cereal.

"You too?" Elaine asked. Edward nodded. "What if he comes after me?"

"Edward will protect you," Riley said. "He's very strong."

_Humans can't survive a shotgun, kid._

TBC

Enjoy! I don't know if I like this chapter or not. Some parts I do some I don't. Ah well. I can't expect great works every time (if at all lol). Review and have a happy Memorial weekend!


	13. Chapter 13

DC: I don't own it

Thanks to my reviewers! I'm glad people liked the last chapter, I was kinda worried. I totally love the idea of Edward being so caring and doing something like this.

Chapter 13,

Edward was enjoying the silence. Riley was asleep, curled up against Elaine, and Robbie, the newest addition to the small family was finally knocked out. At age fifteen, Robbie was the middle child with a rebellious streak that made up for Riley's lack of one. Edward had found him fighting in the street and offered him a warm place to stay. He didn't take no for an answer as he knew that Robbie would be back fighting again. Besides, Edward had made the cops back off that way.

Robbie was a typical rebel. However after spending a few weeks with Edward and his persistent calm, the boy was starting to settle down.

Edward turned the page of his book and sighed. The heroine of the story reminded him so much of Bella. He picked up his phone and dialed home.

"Hello?"

It was Esme. Her sweet voice sent warmth down his spine.

"Esme, hey, how is everyone?" Edward asked.

"Oh! Edward! Darling how are you? Are you well? Have you been feeding regularly? Is everything going fine?"

"Yes, mom, everything is fine," Edward assured her with a smile. "I'm in Nebraska now."

"Sunny?"

"Sometimes. It's getting warmer. The weather is pretty unpredictable."

"Bummer. Well all the more reason why you should come home," Esme said.

"I can't yet," Edward said, "I'm working on something that needs my constant attention."

"Like?"

"Nope, it's a secret for now."

"Oh, poo," Esme huffed, "Carlisle won't tell me a thing and I can't read his mind!"

Edward laughed.

"It isn't illegal is it?" Esme asked.

"Not that I know of," Edward shrugged. "How's Bella?"

"Fine," Esme said. "She's out at the beach today with Alice and Jacob."

"Alice? She likes Jacob?"

"They get along," Esme sighed. "He really is a nice boy once you get beyond the prejudice."

"I suppose, if you like dogs," Edward grumbled. "Look, I have to go, but tell everyone that I said hi, I send my love and I miss them all very much."

"I will," Esme promised, "but only if you promise to come home soon."

"Goodnight, mom," Edward said.

--

Esme went into her bedroom and looked at Carlisle who was sitting on the bed. She walked over to him, with a gentle sway in her hips. Carlisle looked at her over his book and raised an eyebrow. A little grin spread his lips.

"Well hello Mrs. Cullen, what can I do for you?"

Esme smiled and sat on his lap, taking the book and putting it aside. "You can tell me something," She said leaning into his chest and resting her head on his shoulder.

"Oh really," Carlisle said with a small chuckle in his voice, "and what might that be?"

"What is Edward going in Nebraska?" Esme asked. "I know he's told you. He tells you everything."

Carlisle shook his head no. "I can't teeeeeelll," his voice went higher as Esme licked his neck. Her fingers slipped down his bare chest and abs and pushed under him. "W-what are you doing?"

"It's called torturing you for information," Esme said. Her fingers slipped under his thigh and her nails brushed against his skin. Carlisle giggled. Esme moved down and grabbed his ankles. With one yank, Carlisle was on his back and Esme was back ontop of him.

"Oh come now, be reasonable," Carlisle said.

"Are you going to tell me or do I have to tie you to the bed?" Esme asked, brushing her nails against his side.

"Absolutely not!"

"To what?"

"Both!"

Esme grinned wickedly. "You'll tell me. I have methods of torture that you can't stand," Esme said, reaching over and tickling his foot. Carlisle jerked and laughed.

"KIDS! HELP! SHE'S GONNA TORTURE ME!"

"HAHA!"

"Some help they are," Carlisle grumbled. Esme grinned. "You won't get it out of me by tickling me dearest, sorry."

"I suppose you're right," Esme said with a shrug. She slid off of him and walked out of the room without a word. Carlisle sighed and dropped his head against the pillow. The woman played dirty.

--

Alice looked at Jasper and sighed. "Promise me that you won't break that easily," she said as she watched Carlisle crack under the silent treatment after only two hours.

"Promise," Jasper said, putting his arm around Alice and rested his head on hers. "Besides, I don't think you can _stay_ silent that long."

Alice pushed him playfully and laughed. "You're probably right."

--

"You gave him how much?!" Esme cried.

"He wanted to convert an office building into a small shelter for children that are either abused or have no where to go," Carlisle said.

"Our little Edward has started a shelter?"

"He didn't want to tell you because you'd overreact," Carlisle said. Esme's eyes narrowed.

"I never overreact, I react just the right amount."

Carlisle rolled his eyes.

"Okay so maybe I overreact a little," Esme admitted. "Do you think he can do this?"

"Well he did get a degree in social work for kicks once," Carlisle said with a shrug. "Remember? He was being a rebel and said he didn't want to go into medicine."

"Yeah, whatever happened to that?" Esme asked.

"I don't know," Carlisle laughed, "that boy has almost ever degree under the sun."

"You can't fault him for loving to learn."

"Who loves to learn?" Bella asked, walking into the living room.

"Edward," Carlisle said. "He's in Nebraska putting his social sciences degree to use."

"How is he doing?" Bella asked.

"You honestly what to know?" Carlisle asked in mild shock. Bella nodded. "He's fine. He's helping children in Nebraska."

"That's great!" Bella said.

"Going to La Push again?" Esme asked.

"No, Angela is back in town with Ben and she wants to go on a double date," Bella said. "Okay triple because she asked Alice and Jasper to come too."

"Lovely," Esme said with a smile. "You have been so happy lately."

"I know. Everything is going so well!" Bella said happily, leaving with a smile.

--

Edward was in the kitchen stirring pasta when Riley came running in where he eventually tripped over his own feet. Edward looked at him and bit back a chuckle. Riley scrambled to his feet and hopped over to Edward.

"You okay?" Edward asked.

"Y-yes," Riley panted. "Edward there are some people here to see you!"

Edward nodded and walked out of the kitchen. He ran into Elaine in the hall and asked her to watch over the dinner. Edward went to the front door and saw three people, two men and a woman, dressed in suits.

"Hello? Can I help you?"

"Yes, we're from child services and we have some questions for you," The woman said.

"We came because Officer Collins said that you took a teenage boy with you after a fight," one of the men added.

"Well come on in," Edward said, "have a seat."

He led them into the massive living room that was once two offices and let them sit on the sofa. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

"No, thank you," The woman, Nancy, said with her mouth a tight line.

"Mr. Cullen..."

"Edward,"

"Edward," Nancy said firmly, "we would like an explanation."

"Well," Edward said, "where would you like me to start?"

"What is this place?" the tallest man, Mike, asked.

"An oversized house," Edward said with a shrug, his dark eyes dazzling the third. "I had it built when I moved here. It was an office building, I merely had it redecorated."

"I see," Mike said.

"Why?" Nancy asked sharply.

"Would you like the tour?" Edward asked, turning on his dazzling smile.

"Yes," Nancy replied. They stood up and walked out of the living room. "Now answer my question."

"I built this place because I wanted there to be a safe place for people that need it."

"People like?" Mike asked. The last one, Evan, was the real quiet type but Edward could see that his mind was somewhere else, specifically on his daughter that just had a baby.

"When I was a child I was abused and I desperately wanted a place where there was someone to smile at me and tell me that I was wanted and special," Edward said. "I know there are others like me. Riley was orphaned, Elaine escaped parents that drank themselves into comas nightly and Robbie...well, I'm sure Officer Collins can tell you about that."

"So you just took these kids off of the streets?!" Nancy cried angrily.

"No," Edward said. "Elaine snuck in here about a month ago when she was looking for a place to sleep. We contacted her parents and they already signed over guardianship to me. However she, like Robbie and Riley, are free to leave whenever they see fit. Robbie's mother can hardly afford to keep him around so she is fine with him staying here."

"Sounds like he has everything under control," Evan said with a shrug.

"This is an unauthrized facility that..."

"Does what the foster system doesn't seem to do," Mike finished. "I don't think Mr. Cullen is trying to tear it down."

"Of course not," Edward said, "I do encourage children being placed with families that can care for them better than I can."

Nancy didn't look convinced. Edward could hear her thoughts about him ruining the social services system. She didn't like him though she was dazzled by him. She was wondering if he had a hidden agenda when it came to the kids.

"You understand why we're suspicious," Evan said. "I mean it's not every day a young man like yourself opens a shelter for children."

"My intentions are pure, sir, I can assure you of that," Edward said with a smile. "Surely you can appreciate the value of a place where children can be safe and free to grow."

"Of course," Mike agreed. "I'm a father myself."

Edward saw his children in his mind and smiled. "Would you like to see the gym?"

"Sure," Evan said enthusiastically.

Edward led them into the gym where Robbie was shooting hoops. Immediately, the boy stiffened and looked at Nancy with a wary expression. Edward learned instantly from both of their minds that they had run into each other in the past. If Edward was to guess, Nancy had a bit of a grudge against him.

"Hey," Robbie said eventually, "what's happenin?"

"I'm just showing these nice people around," Edward said with a smile.

"I'm going to go work on my homework," Robbie said.

"Please put the ball away first," Edward said. Robbie nodded and put the ball back on a small rack where it sat next to a few soccer balls, a blue and white bouncing ball and another basketball. Robbie ran out quickly, and as he left Edward could hear the anger in his thoughts towards Nancy.

"He was a hassle," Mike sighed. "Kept running away and had a lot of trouble with school. Staying for classes and what not. He used to drink and smoke frequently."

"He's only fifteen," Nancy muttered, "heaven knows how badly that boy has been messed up."

"Now, now, that's a little harsh," Edward said. "He's a fine young man who just needs some direction."

"But you're sending them to school, correct?"

"Yes, Robbie is still attending his old school, as is Elaine. Riley will attend the elementary school in the fall, records from his last school have already been sent over."

_After some forgery_, Edward thought to himself.

Nancy couldn't seem to find anything else to complain about after seeing the whole of the large home, the happiness of the children and Edward's degree in social sciences. Evan seemed delighted by the idea that someone so young was so generous and caring, while Mike just wanted to go home. Edward showed them to the door and sent them off with greetings. By that time, dinner was done with and Elaine was cleaning up.

"Is everything okay?" she asked.

"Yes, everything is fine. Just checking up on me to make sure I'm not raping the innocent little children as they sleep," Edward said with a laugh. Elaine laughed.

"Yeah, social workers like to butt in. That's why I was so surprised when you were so...easy going."

"Well I'm sure all you children want is a hassle free place to stay."

Elaine smiled and nodded. She put the last of the dishes away and went off to finish her school work. Edward went to the stairs and was about to go up to check on the three children when he heard a knock on the door.

He opened the door to find a young woman with tan skin and golden eyes. She was holding a bundle in her arms. From the look of her she couldn't have been more than sixteen, but her scent told her that she was something else.

"Come in," Edward said without question.

"I was walking when I heard you talking to those social workers," the girl said. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop...I can't control the hearing yet...but I don't have anywhere else to go. I can't stay with my parents."

"Why?" Edward asked.

"You know what I am," she said, "you know why."

It clicked when she said that. The scent was that of a vampire but something else. "How old are you?"

"Eighteen...physically I am almost seventeen. I was changed shortly after she was born," the girl said clutching the bundle, which Edward realized was a baby.

"What is your name?" he asked.

"Maria," the girl answered. "My name is Maria."

"Where are you from?" Edward asked, sitting her down in the living room.

"A small town not to far from here," Maria said. "I moved there when I was ten. I had Izzy a year ago and I was bitten shortly after."

"By who?"

"I don't remember," Maria said. "I remember waking up in an alley way."

"What did you do after?" Edward asked, lifting Izzy from her mother's shaking arms.

"I-I-I bit my parents in my raging thirst," Maria sobbed, "I was so disgusted with myself that I ran. I left Izzy with my friend, saying I was suffering PPD and ran. I learned that I could live on animal blood after I panicked and fed on a rabbit. When it helped...well I trained myself by spending days at work. I worked at a blood bank downtown. I couldn't return home until I could restrain myself. I couldn't feed on my own child."

Edward sat down and put his arm around her as she cried. "You're welcome to stay here if you can control your thirsts."

"I hunt weekly," Maria told him. "Small animals usually."

"Well, that is a comfort. Come, I'll take you to your room. I'll have a crib ordered for Izzy. Does she need a bottle?"

"Yes, I have the formula with me, and diapers. I use cloth mostly, because they're cheaper but..."

"Don't worry," Edward said taking the diaper bag and slinging it over his shoulder, "I'll take care of everything."

"I can't let you do that..."

"Don't worry, my dad has been a doctor for three hundred years and we don't need to buy food."

Maria laughed nervously and Edward patted her shoulder. "Still...I feel bad."

"Don't worry about it," Edward said, as they walked up the stairs, "you can make it up by telling me more about yourself."

"Like?" Maria asked, following Edward into a room at the end of the hall, away from the others because of the baby.

"Where did you live before you came here?"

"A small town out west that I'm sure you never heard of," Maria answered.

"Try me," Edward pressed, setting the diaper bag on the bed.

"La Push, Washington," Maria said with a small smile.

"Quileute?" Edward asked.

"Yeah, on my mother's side," Maria said, "you know it?"

"I spent a couple years in Forks, actually my family still lives there. I know some people from La Push."

"Oh? Like who?" Maria asked. Taking her daughter who was beginning to fuss.

"Sam Uley, Jacob Black and some others."

Maria laughed and laid Izzy on the bed. "I used to have such a crush on Jacob. Sam, on the other hand was the biggest jerk I had ever met."

Edward snorted and tried to hide his laugh. "So, if I may ask, are you a part of their big secret?"

"Kind of," Maria said, setting Izzy down on the bed and taking out a fresh diaper. "My father was one, and I haven't phased in a year so I doubt I still can. My father left La Push because he didn't want to be part of the pack. Oh, and Billy Black used to have a huge thing for my mom."

Edward could only picture the crippled old man and shuddered. Maria laughed and went back to changing her baby.

"Edward! Edward! Edward!"

Riley came running into the room, slipping a little in his socks and crashed into Edward's leg. "Edward the man is going to get me!"

Edward knelt down and picked him up. Riley was sobbing and rubbing his eyes with his little fist.

"Who is coming to get you?" Edward asked, brushing a bit of Riley's blonde hair from his face.

"Father. He's coming to get me because I ran away," Riley sobbed. Edward looked over at the time. It was just after nine thirty. He gave a quick glance towards Maria and then walked Riley back to his room.

"You were having a bad dream," Edward soothed, "and besides, even if it was really you've got me here to take care of you. I'm super strong, remember?"

Riley nodded and sniffed. Edward hugged him and turned into the boys bedroom, stepping over toy trucks. He set him on the bed and pulled back the covers.

"What if it wasn't a dream?" Riley asked. "What if it was real?"

Edward gave him a reassuring smile only because he had no idea what to say to that. After all when he left the hospital with Carlisle back in 1918 he had thought that he was an orphan. He thought that his father was dead from the sickness that killed his mother. He tucked the covers around the boy and sat on the bed. He sang a gentle lullaby, the same lullaby his mother would sing to him.

Wind bows thy troubles away and softly rocks the sleeping babe, when you wake I shall be here, but until then my precious one play among the clouds in sweet dream land.

Riley was asleep before Edward finished the little song. He leaned over and kissed Riley on the forehead. "Sleep well sweet one," Edward whispered. He clicked on the night light and left the room, making sure to leave the door open just a crack so that the hall light could seep in.

"Robbie, lights out," Edward said as he passed the teenagers room.

"Fine," Robbie groaned. Edward was delighted to find that the boy was slowly but surely beginning to like him, or at least respect him enough to behave. Edward was about to give the same order to Elaine but he saw her room was already dark. As he passed he heard soft sobs.

"Elaine," he said, knocking softly.

"Huh? Yes?"

"Are you alright?"

"Y-yes, I'm fine."

"Can I come in?" Edward asked.

"Yes."

Edward walked into the room as Elaine switched on her lamp. Her eyes were red and her cheeks were blotchy. She rubbed one with the heel of her hand. "What's wrong?" Edward asked, sitting down.

"Thinking," Elaine said, hugging her knees. "About my brother."

"Your brother?"

"Yes," Elaine said, her eyes sparkling, "he died a few months ago."

"I'm sorry," Edward said, "may I ask what happened?"

"Father killed him," Elaine said. "I'm sure of it. The police decided that he fell on his own, but..."

"But?"

"Toby hated being near the stairs, besides, the gates were up."

"How old?" Edward asked.

"Three," Elaine said. She opened the drawer in the night stand and took out a picture of her and her baby brother, a little blonde boy with bright blue eyes that matched hers. "I told the police what I thought but they didn't believe me. My father argued that it was the shock from the accident and we had been fighting a lot lately. He was so little and my father just...hated him."

"Why?"

"Because my mother had an affair and Toby was that man's son."

"That'll do it," Edward muttered. "Listen, Elaine, part of life is losing people. I lost my mother a long time ago and she was the only person who offered me a kind smile when I was living in my own hell. But I'm sure Toby didn't like it when his big sister was crying."

"I suppose not," Elaine said, resting her chin on her knees. "It's just hard to accept that he isn't going to grow up and live. He was such a sweet boy, Edward, he laughed a lot and he loved to play with his ball."

Edward patted her shoulder gently and then gave her a hug. "It is hard, I know."

"If I had protected him..."

"Don't start down that path," Edward warned, "once you do it's hard to come back. I blamed myself for my mother's death and it cost me everything."

"What do you mean?" Elaine asked.

"I began to assume that everything was my fault," Edward said quietly, "my mother died of a sickness and I survived. That was enough for my father to say it was my fault. I blamed myself and in believing that I began to think everything bad was because of me. I ended up hurting my fiance and running away to find out who I was."

"What did you find?" Elaine asked.

"I found you guys," Edward was a smile, "and I am happier than I have been in a long time."

Elaine smiled weakly, "we're happy too. Even Robbie has changed since he came here. We all owe you our lives."

Edward was speechless. He smiled at Elaine and patted her head. "Sweet dreams."

"You too."

Edward stood and walked towards the door. He stopped when he reached it, "oh, and I'm pleased to say that you are no longer the only female among us."

Elaine smiled. "Is she nice?"

"Lovely," Edward said, "you two will be fast friends."

"I hope so. Night Edward."

"Goodnight, Elaine."

Edward closed the door lightly and felt tears well in his eyes. Her words rang in his ears. He wondered if this was how Carlisle felt at the end of every day.

TBC

Yay happy Edward. Review and enjoy!


	14. Chapter 14

DC: I don't own it

Thank you to my reviewers!

So I realize that vampires probably can't get drunk but for the sake of the story they can.

Chapter 14,

Summer was in full bloom and Forks looked stunning. Roselie and Emmett decided to contribute to the normal human image by deciding to get married. Alice was overjoyed, especially when Roselie decided to let her plan the wedding. Bella was asked to be a bridesmaid but she didn't have to feel obligated.

"I understand if you don't want to go," Roselie said. "But I would be so thrilled if you could."

Bella didn't ask if Edward would be there. She knew that he was being asked to be one of Emmett's groomsmen, with Jasper as his best man. Carlisle would give Roselie away and Esme was going to watch with their friends from Alaska.

"Of course I'll come!" Tanya cried happily when Roselie asked her.

Edward said he would come back for the wedding but he didn't say much else. Emmett told Bella that he asked about her and he told him that she was fine. He left Jacob out of the equation.

Bella found herself spending a sunny June afternoon in her new room. Esme convinced Carlisle that there would be peace in the house if Bella and Edward didn't have to share a bedroom when he was here. Bella was fine with moving and after her new room was built she had fun painting it with Alice and Emmett.

Much to her delight, Carlisle had included a massive built in book shelf in the room plans. He had received a giant hug as a thank you with a chorus of you do understand me. As she unpacked her books and carried them to their new shelves, she had a human moment and tripped over another box.

She picked up the books she dropped and her face fell. Out of the pages of Pride and Prejudice, fell a picture. She picked it up and looked at the beautiful bronze haired man and an average looking brunette woman holding each other with smiles on their beautiful places.

Bella tucked her hair back behind her ear and sighed at the picture. Edward and Bella, still deeply in love as they held each other in the Cullen living room before their wedding back in August, were smiling. Edward had the crooked smile she had so loved and Bella was smiling, eyes closed and truly happy.

The picture had survived the shredding in January by hiding in a book. Bella held it between her fingers, ready to rip it. She wanted to so badly. It was so easy. Rip the memory from her life. But she knew, though she didn't want to admit it, that ripping the picture wouldn't rip the memory from her mind.

She stood up and put the picture on the shelf, propping it up against the wall on her desk. She pushed it so Edward was hidden behind a picture of Jacob at the beach. "I'm not with you anymore, Edward," Bella told the picture, and herself.

She knew that of the family only Esme, Alice, Roselie and Emmett were fine with her dating Jacob, and Emmett's tolerance came from his big brother complex seeing Bella happy again. Jasper was a little more open about his dislike than Carlisle. At least her surrogate father's desire to see her happy kept him from making a big deal about the fact that she wasn't with his son and best friend.

She walked downstairs to get a break from her memories and walked right into a conversation about the wedding.

"Oh!" Roselie said happily. "Edward said that he'll make it to the wedding!"

Bella stiffened but didn't say anything.

"That's wonderful, sweetheart," Esme said with a smile. Bella didn't say anything but Roselie knew she had entered.

"Bells, are you okay?" Roselie asked. "I mean you'll still be in the wedding right?"

"Yeah," Bella said with a smile, "I can't wait."

Roselie gave Bella a tight hug and grinned. "Thank you so much!"

Bella returned the hug and the smile but inside she was tense and upset. She would have to walk down the aisle on Edward's arm. She would have to watch another person's wedding with him standing across from her looking dazzling in his tuxedo and blue tie. It was Roselie's big day...again...so she would make it through the night with a smile.

Besides, she reminded herself, Jacob would be there to support you.

--

Edward constantly thanked god for Maria. She was far more domestic that he could have ever hoped for and the younger children loved her.

Children, Edward thought in a daze. There were twelve children running around ranging from teenagers to toddlers. He had no idea that there were that many abused children in the city. But then again it made sense, the city was fairly large.

Shortly after Edward spent the night comforting his first three wards he realized that they children were going to need help. So, he hired a professional psychologist to meet with the children once a week.

Edward was in the gym, shooting hoops with Robbie and another boy named Daniel when Elaine came in with her arm around a blonde girl with bruises. Edward excused himself and rushed over.

"What's wrong?" He asked. The blonde girl pulled away from Edward and clutched Elaine's sleeve tightly.

Her name was Rachel and during the night she was raped by her brother. She had been to the hospital but she was going to be sent back to her mother's drunken rage. Edward told Elaine to take her into the kitchen while he got the first aid kit.

"Did they take a kit?" Edward asked before cleaning Rachel up. She nodded slowly. "Alright,"

Edward gently cared for her wounds and then made arrangements to ensure she was left in his custody. He wasn't above threatening to take legal action.

Maria came in like a mother hen and before too long Rachel was talking to the boys again within a few months, but she still locked her room every night.

"How do you do that?" Edward asked, watching Rachel play with Daniel and a boy named Will.

"Talent," Maria said, holding Izzy's little feet and slipping a diaper under her. "She doesn't want to hear logic and she doesn't want pity. She wants to be angry and sad about what happened. She wasn't going to shy away from men forever, but she won't trust you for a long time."

"Sad," Edward sighed.

"What's on your mind, Edward?" Maria asked, reading him like a book.

"My brother and sister are getting married," Edward said, folding his arms. He realized how wrong that sounded.

"Well I promised I wouldn't pry, so I won't. But I'll just say eew."

"No, I mean they aren't related. You know what I mean."

"I know, but it's still fun to give you crap about it."

"You're supposed to be sweet," Edward huffed.

Maria laughed, lifting her giggling baby. "Aw we've gone and misled poor Edward," she said in a baby voice. Izzy giggled.

"Anyway, they're getting married...again. This is like the third time, but still Emmett wants me to be in the wedding party."

"Well," Maria said, "you have volunteers here to help you, and plenty of the kids are old enough to stay safe for a week."

"That's not what I'm worried about," Edward said. "I'm worried about Bella."

"Your ex?"

"Yes...well...kind of. I know I'm the last person she wants to see right now," Edward said, "especially at a wedding."

"Edward Cullen are you scared?" Maria asked, putting Izzy in her play pin.

"I'm not scared!" Edward declared a little too quickly.

"What do you need a babysitter?"

"It would give you a chance to go back to La Push for a little while," Edward said with a shrug. "You said you have family back there."

"Well, yes, I do, and I was meaning to talk to you about that," Maria said. "My grandparents want me to come back."

"Are you asking permission?" Edward asked, waving a toy in front of the baby. Maria looked sadly at her baby. She touched Izzy's little hand and five little fingers wrapped around her own.

"I've grown...attached...to you," she said with difficulty. Edward felt a little uncomfortable. He could be cold. He could tell her he felt the same way. He did feel attached to her, but like a sister. If she came with him, he could take her as his date and Bella would...

_What am I thinking?!_ Edward inwardly cried. _Why do I want to hurt Bella?_

_It figures he's so silent. He's a great deal older than me but still. Maybe it isn't what I think. He is a very good friend and I do care about him. Maybe I love him. But I don't think I'm in love._

Maria was as still as a statue. Edward heard her thoughts and they made him feel tired.

"Maria, you are a sweet girl, and I am so thankful for you. But I can't be more than just a friend to you."

"I understand," Maria said. She smiled, trying to stay happy. "I have to go feed Izzy."

"Alright,"

"She's a lucky girl," Maria said, pausing at the door. "To have your heart."

"I wish she could see that," Edward said. "She means so much to me."

"If it is meant to be, she'll know."

Edward knew she was right. If he and Bella were meant to be together it would happen. He was still so deeply in love with her. Soon it would be time to go back home and face her.

--

"So Edward's going to be there today?" Jacob asked, helping Bella gather everything she needed.

"Yeah," Bella sighed. "Look, you don't have to worry."

"I'm not," Jacob shrugged. He leaned down and kissed her cheek. "You'll look better than the bride, it's hardly fair."

"Don't let Roselie hear that," Bella said with a small grin. Jacob slid his arms around her waist and pulled her against him.

"Why? It's the truth. You are the most beautiful vampire I have ever laid eyes on," he said in a silky voice. Bella grinned and reached up to kiss him lightly on the lips. "Will you be okay?"

"I think I'll survive. I mean all I have to do is walk with him, that's it. And then we don't have to speak for the rest of the night."

"Well, I'll make sure to knock his teeth out if he hurts you," Jacob growled.

"Thanks, Jake, but I'm a big girl. I can handle him."

Jacob looked sour, but he kissed her anyway and let it go.

--

"Jacob is going to be there," Carlisle said, helping Edward with his tie.

"Should that bother me?" Edward asked mildly.

Carlisle sighed and ran a comb through Edward's hair.

"You're not going to disappear again are you?"

"Haha," Edward grumbled, taking the comb from Carlisle and fixing his own hair. "Why should I care what that werewolf is up to? If Bella wants to have her friend then let her have her friend." Edward sounded casual as he put his foot on the chair to tie his shoes.

"Bella and Jacob have been dating for the past few months."

Edward's foot slipped off of the chair and he made a strange choking sound as he tried to find something to say.

"I thought we agreed we'd keep that to ourselves for...ever," Emmett said from the mirror.

"The man has a right to know! I mean Bella will most certainly be dancing with that boy."

"W-what?!"

"Jacob asked her out Christmas night and she agreed a few days later," Carlisle sighed. "Your mother thinks it's sweet."

"Sweet?"

"Those girls have become like a big scary cult!" Emmett cried throwing his hands in the air. "For the first weeks it was like everything we did was wrong! Rosie made Jasper cry once!"

"Did not!" Jasper defended a little too quickly.

"So Bella and Jacob have been dating since December and you guys couldn't find a spare moment to tell me?"

"Well look at it this way Eddy, if we told you you'd probably run off to Volterra or something stupid like that," Emmett said, leaning against the wall. "For a genius you sure are impulsive."

"Guys you were supposed to tell me stuff like this! It's kinda important!" Edward growled angrily.

"What were we supposed to say?" Jasper asked. "Oh hey Edward guess what Bella's dating someone else. Was that what you had in mind? You would have never come back if we did!"

"Great! My family lies to me!" Edward cried, storming out of the room.

He went into the lobby of the church where the wedding party was to meet. Alice was the first to arrive of the women followed by Bella, Roselie and finally Esme who was dabbing her eyes.

"Okay, okay, we'll be starting in a few minutes," Esme said, getting a grip on herself. "EMMETT KEEP YOUR EYES CLOSED AND TAKE THE SIDE HALL!"

"I've already seen her as a bride!" Emmett grumbled.

Esme sighed and turned back to the wedding party. "Okay, Cindi and Mitchell you'll go first," Esme said steering Tanya's two little siblings to the front. "Bella, you and Edward stand here, Alice you and Jasper here, and Carlisle you here."

"Esme we've gone this before. Five times!" Jasper moaned.

"Five?" Bella asked.

"Me and Alice twice, Roselie and Emmett...three times..." Jasper lied quickly to cover that he had forgotten the fifth wedding.

"Oh," Bella said, pretending to buy it but everyone caught the icy glare she shot at Edward.

"Yep Roselie loves getting married," Edward said stiffly.

"Okay if you two can't behave we'll separate you!" Esme said sternly.

"Well it wouldn't have killed him to show up," Bella growled.

"Well it wouldn't have killed _you_ to have a little faith," Edward growled back.

"Okay! I lied you won't be separated but you'll be thrown to Roselie if you don't stop!"

Edward sighed and Bella muttered an apology to her sister. "Let's just get through this," she whispered to Edward.

"Fine by me."

"Good," Bella sighed. The music started and they started walking.

"Though I'm sure you'd be much happier if _Jacob_ was here instead of me," Edward hissed under his breath.

"Well you're right I would be," Bella snapped back quietly.

Roselie and Alice rolled their eyes, Jasper bit his lip and Carlisle looked uncomfortable. The doors opened and both Edward and Bella adopted instant delighted smiles.

"How about a little grace period at least, before running off to your wolf?" Edward snapped not breaking his smile.

"How about _not_ leaving your fiance at the alter."

"But still, the wolf?"

"You're not so innocent. I saw that girl you're with."

"Maria is just a friend," Edward hissed.

Both of their smiles were perfect and charming. They never lost a step and looked beautiful. Bella looked over at Jacob and he smiled back at her. She felt Edward's arm tighten around her elbow.

"You're hurting my arm," Bella hissed.

"I'm sorry, my mistake."

"You're acting like a child!"

"You're acting childish! Flirting with your little boyfriend!"

Bella was about to respond but she felt the icy eyes of Roselie Cullen on the back of her neck and thought better of it.

Finally she and Edward parted and stood off to the side. Roselie reached Emmett and he looked as if he had never seen her before. He looked simply awestruck by her beauty. The wedding was beautiful. Bella could feel the love between them. She glanced over at Edward who was trying so hard not to look at her.

Bella felt a strong sadness stab her heart. She glanced over at Edward and their eyes caught each other. For that moment she met his smoldering gaze. His eyes were like liquid gold, boring into her soul. She felt the pain from December return. Emmett's vows were so sincere and so meaningful. Bella saw everything that should have been in her minds eye that brief moment Edward held her gaze.

Bella looked at the happy couple and tears filled her eyes. She didn't stand out. Alice and Esme were sobbing, even Roselie was getting teary-eyed. All of them were nothing compared to Carlisle who was weeping in Esme's arms.

"I now pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss the bride."

Bella could feel Edward's eyes on her. She kept her focus on Roselie and Emmett, sharing their kiss. She clapped when everyone else and followed them out of the church with the rest of the wedding party.

They made it to the reception hall after all of the guests. Edward and Bella sat on opposite ends of the limo and talked to different people. When they made it to the hall, Bella helped Roselie out and greeted Jacob with a hug.

"You look amazing, Roselie," Jacob said. "I'm so happy for you."

"Thank you Jacob," Roselie said with a smile.

"Congratulations, Emmett," Jacob said, shaking Emmett's hand. Emmett patted Jacob's shoulder but stopped the moment he felt Edward's irritation from ten feet away.

"Duck and cover," Emmett sighed.

Edward walked by Jacob without looking at him. Everyone sat in the hall and the music began to play. Jacob took Bella's hand and led her to the floor for a moderately placed song.

"Blue suits you well," Jacob said, taking in every inch of her blue strapless dress. He plucked one of the white roses from a nearby table and tucked it in her hair. He kissed her forehead and Bella smiled.

"Did you enjoy yourself?" Bella asked.

"Yes, I enjoyed every minute of your ex's death glare."

"He won't do anything," Bella promised. "He's just being childish."

"Are you alright?" Jacob asked, spinning Bella out and then back in.

"No, I'm not. I love Roselie and Emmett dearly but watching them get married was painful," Bella said quietly. "I'm happy for them. I really am, but understandably a wedding is the last place I wanted to be. Especially when I had to walk with Edward. I saw everything that could have been flash in my mind and I..."

"What?" Jacob pressed lightly, spinning her again and pulling her even closer.

"He looked just like I imagined he would when we got married," Bella admitted. Jacob's face fell. "Don't give me that look, you knew it would happen."

Jacob rested his chin on Bella's head and saw Edward glaring at him. He raised an eyebrow back.

_What are you going to do about it? You're the one that left. Besides, did you come with a date?_

Edward's glare intensified. He was dancing with Alice and his partner apparently didn't appreciate being ignored. She stomped on his foot. Edward faltered and turned his glare on her, mouthing ow.

Alice rolled her eyes and looked up at Roselie. She nodded and within a flash Roselie was pushing the DJ aside.

"Okay guys, it's time for the wedding party to share a dance," Roselie said in a graceful velvety voice. Alice was swept away by Jasper, Esme took Carlisle and Roselie fit perfectly in Emmett's arms. Edward and Bella were left without partners, looking at each other.

_Dance with her or I'll make you regret it! Don't blow this, Edward! _Roselie thought angrily.

Edward wasn't sure what she meant but _this._ He walked up to Bella and bowed his head.

"May I have this dance?" he asked smoothly.

"If you must," Bella muttered, letting him take her hand. He spun her and they waltzed with their family.

"Listen, Bella..." Edward trailed off as the song was changed. Edward cringed when he saw Tanya, most likely on Roselie's orders, changing the song. Of all the songs she had to chose, she chose better than me. Edward closed his eyes. The song fit all too well.

Worst of all, he was forced to draw Bella closer. He could feel the icy air around her. He looked up and Maria gave him a sympathetic look. "You look beautiful," he said finally.

"Thank you."

"Listen, Bella, I'm sorry for being so horrible earlier. I was just...I just found out about you two."

Bella didn't say anything. Edward spun her and drew her close again. His hand on her waist felt strange but familiar.

"I wish I had never left. I missed you so much."

"Yeah. Look Edward, can we just not talk? It'll only upset me."

"Whatever you wish my love," Edward whispered.

_Watch it_

Edward heard Jacob's growl and it spurred him on.

"I just wish you had waited for me."

"I told you I wouldn't," Bella said, "I told you that I couldn't promise you I would wait. I felt so rejected, Edward. I always thought that if anything was wrong we'd fight through it together."

"I really miss your hair in my face, and the way your innocence tastes, and I think you should know you deserve much better than me," Edward sang along softly, resting his chin against her temple.

Bella let him hold her. "Edward, I can't do this."

"What? Dance? You're doing fine," Edward assured her. Bella closed her eyes. They were at prom and he was dancing with her on his feet. They were so in love back then.

"I can't do this, Edward. I...just can't."

She pulled away from him and left the dance floor. "Bella!"

Edward ran after her. He found her on the roof of the hall, hugging her knees and biting back tears.

"Bella, please,"

"No, Edward. I don't want you! Don't you see? I spent months getting over you! I'm in love with Jacob!"

"No you're not," Edward said. "You love him yes, but you aren't in love with him."

"Yes, Edward I do, I love him!"

Edward crossed the roof in three strong strides and grabbed Bella tight by the shoulders. With her newborn strength fading every month she couldn't escape his iron grip.

"Tell me that you're in love with him. Tell me that you don't love me," he ordered, scaring her slightly.

"I love him,"

"That's not what I asked," Edward growled.

"What do you want me to say Edward?" Bella cried, tears falling. "I love you! Alright! I love you! But I hate you! I hate you for leaving! I hate you for ruining everything we had!"

"I told you Bella, I had to go."

"Why?" Bella demanded, backing up as he let her go. "Why did you have to go? Edward I was willing to follow you to the ends of the earth and you just left me!"

"Is it because it was on our wedding day? Is that why you are so angry?"

"Yes! You _left _me at the alter! For almost a whole day! If you had come to me that morning I would have been irritated, upset and hurt but I would have understood!"

"What difference does it make?" Edward demanded. "Huh? What is the difference?!"

"Because I dreamed of that moment since you proposed! I was so scared but so excited! I grew up with divorced parents, Edward! I grew up thinking that marriage always ends in disappointment! So then you come along and you're like a dream and for some reason you love me. We get engaged and it all goes to hell. First your father tried to take you from me and he almost did, but then you take yourself from me!"

Edward waited patiently for her to stop. He had never seen a more beautiful woman. Here she was, the angel of his dreams, at her most passionate. Her tears were real and her pain was real and it matched his own.

Bella couldn't say anymore. Edward approached her and handed her his handkerchief. She took it and dried her eyes. It was no use, she couldn't stop.

"Bella," Edward said quietly, "I love you. That morning I woke up and I heard my father's voice in my head telling me that I was ruining you. I am nothing but trouble to you, Bella. But I love you still. I need you."

Bella hugged her arms lightly and walked away from him. "I don't know what to say, Edward. I'm just tired of waiting for you to be ready. I'm done. I've moved on."

"You're a horrible liar, Bella."

"Edward, please. Just hear me when I say I'm not in love with you anymore."

Edward didn't say anything. His golden eyes held hers. He closed the space between them in quick strides. He grabbed her shoulders and pressed his lips against hers. Bella's eyes widened and she stiffened for a moment. Edward's arms slipped around her and held her tight against his marble body, one graceful slender hand found it's way into her dark curls.

Bella's eyes fluttered closed and parted her lips for him. One hand slipped under his arm and grabbed his shoulder while the other balled around his shirt. His tongue pressed against hers and she pushed back. She moaned softly into the kiss. Edward's arms tightened around her, practically crushing her against him. Bella's hand left his shirt and found it's way into his soft hair. The bronze locks were like silk. His cold skin felt so different than Jacob's. His kiss was like a drug she had so desperately needed.

He pushed her up against the chimney stack and kissed her deeply. Bella moaned softly into the kiss. Edward pushed his tongue again into her mouth and tasted her. She tasted as sweet as always. Bella's hand tangled in his hair and tightened. The pull was delightful and Edward pushed against her.

"Bella," Edward whispered when the kiss broke. "Please don't leave."

"I can't do this," Bella whispered, "I can't...Jacob...I don't..." she had forgotten what she was going to say under his golden gaze. "Damnit Edward I really hate you."

She turned and jumped off of the roof. Edward landed gracefully behind her. Bella walked through the gardens of the reception hall. She heard Edward's footsteps strolling behind her and she could feel his confidence.

"Why are you following me?" Bella finally asked.

"Can't a guy stroll?" Edward asked mildly. Bella turned around. "What?"

"Who was the girl you came with?"

"Her name is Maria, she is a vampire from La Push and she has a baby daughter named Izzy," Edward said casually.

"Is she why I felt your happiness in my chest?" Bella asked quietly.

"Oh ho, jealous?"

"No!" Bella said quickly. "I'm glad you moved on."

"She is part of it," Edward said. "I won't lie about that. But she shares the happiness in my heart with eleven others, not including the one who still holds my heart."

"Eleven!"

"Yes, eleven."

"Including your family right?"

"Fine, sixteen."

"Edward!"

"You still hold my heart, Bella," Edward said seriously, "Maria expressed affection for me and I politely turned her down, telling her that I still love you with all my being."

"What made you so happy then?" Bella asked.

"Do you want me to show you?" Edward asked in an answer. "I can't explain what I've done, but it is amazing."

"I can't," Bella said.

"Can't? Or won't?" Edward asked quietly.

"Both," Bella whispered. "Edward, I'm with Jacob now..."

"And tell me that you're madly in love with him. Go on, Bella. Tell me that you didn't kiss me back. Tell me that even after you reminded me that you were involved with another man you didn't let me kiss you again," Edward said.

"That's not fair," Bella shot back with tears in her eyes.

"I never said I'd fight fair," Edward reminded her. "Jacob is my rival in many ways and I know that you went to him to get over me."

"Yes! And it worked! I am over you!"

"But just moments ago you were saying how you still loved me," Edward reminded her with a smile.

"You're impossible!"

"I will do whatever it takes to get what I want," Edward said.

"You're acting like a child," Bella snapped.

"Am I?" Edward asked, pulling her against him and kissing her. "Does a child do this?" He asked, brushing her breast with his hand as it slid towards her cheek. Bella felt like an electric charge was shooting up and down her spine. His touch left her weak. "Does a child love you as I do? Make love to you like I do?"

"Edward," Bella said with difficulty, "please, don't make me do this."

Edward searched her eyes for a moment. She wasn't afraid of him, but rather herself. He knew right then and there one more kiss and one more taboo touch would find her will power gone and him on top of her in the garden. That was what he wanted. He wanted her beneath him crying in pleasure, screaming _his_ name.

But he pulled away from her. "I'm sorry, Bella," he said quietly, "I'm such a horrible man for putting you through this."

"Edward, I don't want to love you. I want to be rid of these memories and feelings. I'm afraid."

"That I'll hurt you," Edward stated rather than asked. Bella nodded. "I understand. I have no right to chase after you as if I have a right to be with you."

"At least you understand," Bella said with a small smile.

"Bella, until you say you never want to see me again, I'll be there waiting for you to love me again."

Bella sighed. She walked up to him and kissed his cheek. "Stubborn as always," she said.

"Only when the cause is worth fighting for," Edward replied softly. He took her hand and kissed it. "I wish you a pleasant evening, Miss Swan."

Bella remained in the garden. She sat on a stone bench and looked at the brick walkway. Her lips still burned from Edward's kiss and her body was still recovering from his touch.

--

Jacob was sulking. That was the best way to put it. The Cullen girls had stopped him from going after Bella when she ran out and he had spent the past fifteen minutes waiting for her to return. His mood lightened when Edward came in alone looking distant and upset.

_If he hurt her I'll kill him myself,_ Jacob thought. Edward glanced over at him but didn't do anything else.

"Break her heart and I'll break yours," Edward said, walking by him, "oh, and I'll drop in and take her back."

"Whatever," Jacob muttered. He was about to go see Bella when someone sat down across from him. He felt his heart race when he looked at the girl. Her dark hair was curled around her shoulders and complimented her tan skin. Her lips were small and her nose was like a button. Jacob met her eyes. Beautiful gold eyes shaped like almonds.

"Hey, I'm sure you don't remember me but we used to know each other as children," Maria said.

"Uh-huh," Jacob mumbled. "You're less...ugly."

"Um...thanks?"

"No, I mean when you were little your head was way too big for you body," Jacob said. "And you always had sand in your hair."

"Yeah no thanks to Sam," Maria growled. Jacob laughed. Maria looked at him and smiled.

_So this is what it's like. If I still had a heart it would be racing_, Maria thought weakly. Imprinting was amazing.

"So what are you up to now?"

"I have a daughter," Maria said, "named Izzy."

"Short for Isabella?"

"Yeah," Maria said, fidgeting. "I would have called her Bella but, well, every time I hear that name I think of a goth girl I knew in school."

"Nice," Jacob said with a laugh.

_Her voice is like the sweetest song_ Jacob thought.

"If you're a vampire, why are you so tan?" Jacob asked.

"Well, I had darker skin when I was human. My skin is still warm, thanks to..."

"You too?" Jacob asked.

"Yes," Maria mumbled.

"So you know about im..." Jacob trailed off as if talking about the subject was as awkward as talking about sex with his dad.

"Yes," Maria said. She stood and walked away with a gentle sway of her hips. Jacob watched her go.

_Oh crap_

Jacob found Bella out in the garden. She looked distant but when he said her name she looked over at him with a smile.

"Hey, Jake, I need to talk to you."

"Are you okay?" Jacob asked. "I mean Cullen looked upset."

"He's fine," Bella said. "We just talked about things."

"Bella," Jacob said taking her hands, "I love you."

"I know you do," Bella said. "You don't have to worry about him."

"Let me finish," Jacob said uneasily, "please."

"S-sure," Bella replied, feeling her throat tighten.

"I do love you, I really do, and these past months have been like a dream."

Bella felt her breath catch in her throat. Was he proposing? It was way too soon. She had to tell him but her voice was gone.

"Bella, I know you've been hurt and this is what makes this so much harder."

"What is it?" Bella asked. "The suspense is killing me."

"I've imprinted," Jacob said.

"...what?"

"I imprinted," Jacob repeated. "On this girl that I grew up with."

"Maria?" Bella asked.

"Yes."

Bella pulled her hands from his. "You imprinted?!"

"Bella, please don't be angry," Jacob said. Bella stood up.

"Oh, I'm not angry, oh, no, anger doesn't cover it. Jacob I can't believe you of all people would do this to me!"

"Bella, wait," Jacob cried as Bella ran off.

"NO! I HATE YOU!"

Jacob didn't run after her.

--

It was the first time Bella had tried hard alcohol. She downed three shots of tequila in three seconds and coughed as it burned her throat. One hour and one bottle later, Bella stumbled into the Cullen house quite intoxicated.

Edward was alone in his room when he heard someone come in. He was laying on his bed and reading. He heard someone stumble up the stairs and sighed. He continued to read but jumped when something hit his door. It opened and Bella stumbled in.

"Hey," he said. "Too much partying?"

Bella walked over to him slowly, enough time for him to stand up and put his book aside.

"Bella?"

"Take me," Bella moaned, falling into him and grabbing his shirt. Edward stumbled back and fell onto the bed under her. Bella straddled his hips. She leaned down and kissed him. "Take me Edward."

"I'll take you right to the shower," Edward said, "Bella you reek of tequila."

"I just had a little," Bella admitted. "But I'm totally...totally..."

"Sober?"

"Yes, so...that word."

"Bells, if you can't say sober than you aren't."

Bella answered him by emptying the undigested contents of her stomach on his chest.

"Lovely," Edward said, looking down at the bits of wedding cake, champagne and tequila. "You are the true picture of lady like."

"Where am I?" Bella wondered.

"On top of me," Edward said, moving her off and standing up. He pulled her into the bathroom, dropping his vomit stained shirt in the hamper on the way, and started the shower. "I'll go shower in the other room and you can...Bella?"

Bella was sitting on the floor with her knees drawn up to her chest and her head back against the tile walls.

"Why does this keep happening?" Bella moaned. "Why does life keep screwing me over?"

"Hot water will make you feel better," Edward said. Bella stood up and turned towards Edward. She pulled her hair over her shoulder, exposing her half naked back to him. Edward felt his hands shake. He only had so much self control and he had yearned for Bella for so long. He unzipped her dress and it fell to the floor. Bella was left in her underwear and a strapless bra.

"I mean what did I do to deserve this?" Bella asked. "Who did I kill in a past life?"

"What happened?" Edward asked. "Did I leave before something good?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Bella said, reached around to unclasp her bra. Edward caught her fingers and did it for her.

"Yes you do," Edward said. "I know you Bella, you tell me everything."

Bella turned towards him and took his breath away. Her dark hair was cascading in full over one pale shoulder in messy curls, the tips brushed against her rosy nipple. Her golden eyes looked larger than usual and so full of emotion. Her lips were softly parted and her breath escaped in a gentle flow.

"Jacob imprinted," Bella said in a quiet tear stained voice.

"Oh," Edward said softly. "Oh, Bella I'm so sorry."

Bella started to cry. "What did I do wrong? I mean why does this keep happening?"

Edward pulled her into his arms and rested his chin on her head. Bella sobbed into his chest and balled her fist against his hard skin. Edward stroked her hair gently and whispered comfort. Bella looked up at him. Her eyes sparkled with tears. She reached up and gently kissed him.

Edward pulled back. "Bella," he murmured, "I'm going to help you into the shower and then go take one myself. Then I am going to tuck you into bed."

"What's wrong?" Bella asked.

"Bella as much as I love you, and believe me nothing is making me happier than you naked against me, but you are vulnerable. You've been hurt and if I took you right now we'd both hate ourselves in the morning."

"You wouldn't," Bella whispered.

"I would," Edward insisted, "because you would."

Bella nodded and stepped into the shower. Edward left the bathroom and bolted to Alice's bathroom and turned on the cold water.

About a half hour later, Bella was in her room and Edward was sitting on her bed. He tucked her into bed and kissed her forehead. "Edward will you stay? I don't want to be alone."

"You actually look tired," Edward said, "like when you were human."

"Edward, will you take me with you when you go back? I want to see what made you so happy. I felt it in my chest and it made me happy."

Edward smiled and brushed her cheek with his hand. "Of course," he promised.

Bella closed her eyes and smiled as she felt him crawl into the bed beside her and snuggle against her blanketed body.

"Bella..."

"hm?"

"One day, will you marry me?"

"Can I say I'll think about it?" Bella asked.

"I'll wait forever," Edward promised.

TBC

I wasn't sure how to have Jake break the news to her so I decided he would be the blunt type. Plus, it seems like once someone imprints they drop any other romantic relationship. A few more chapters left, depending on how long the last bit takes. Also, I've started a new Twilight fic called Colide. It's EdwardxBella (is there anything else? lol) and as usual it's a drama. Check it out!


	15. Chapter 15

DC: I don't own it.

Thanks to my reviewers! You guys are awesome! SEX CHAPTER ALERT!

Chapter 15,

Bella walked downstairs stiffly around seven in the morning. Edward looked at her from the paper.

"Morning," Edward said.

"Hm," Bella grunted, sitting on the sofa and picking up a section of the paper.

"Someone's cheery."

Alice looked up from her book with mild interest. This could be good.

_You know she's mad at you, right?_

Edward gave her a look that clearly said yes, I do. Alice was masking her thoughts which clearly showed that she knew exactly what was making her mad. Around dawn the tequila had worn off and Bella had become noticeably cooler towards him.

"Just so you know," Bella said, not looking up, "when a girl throws herself at you slightly to severely intoxicated for rebound sex, just do it."

"Here we go," Edward sighed. "Bella you would have hated if we had drunken sex."

"No, what I hate, is spending my morning slightly hung over feeling stupid and embarrassed."

Alice looked deeply amused, Bella looked annoyed and Edward looked mildly confused.

"Are you saying you didn't want me to be a gentleman and just taken you right there in the bathroom? Or on Alice's bed?"

"On Alice's what now?" Alice growled.

"Heh, nothing sis, nothing," Edward said, her angry eyes made him a little scared.

"Yes, Edward, I wanted you to take me on the bathroom floor," Bella said. Edward sighed. He stood up and walked over to her. Without a word he took the paper from her hands and picked her up.

"Well then, I think I should promptly atone for my sins," Edward said smoothly. A wicked grin spread on his face as he thought of the perfect place.

"You do it on my bed and I will beat you with it," Alice growled from the arm chair. "Bella don't you dare agree with him."

Edward shook his head and smiled at her. He ran up the stairs to his room where he locked the door. He dropped Bella on his bed and he was on top of her. Bella grinned up to him.

"Crafty, Miss Swan, crafty," Edward whispered against her cheek. Bella curled her arms around his neck.

"Edward, promise you won't leave me again," Bella whispered. "I want to be with you, but I'm scared you'll leave."

"Anywhere I go," Edward murmured, kissing her jaw, "I'll take you with me."

Bella gasped when he cupped her breast.

"But first," Edward whispered against her chest. He looked at the shirt she was wearing. He recognized it as Jacob's. Edward tore it open in a sexy claiming way.

"Did you have to rip the shirt?" Bella asked.

"It belonged to that dog. Yes."

"Oh, Edward," Bella sighed.

"You're mine, Bella my dear. My beautiful," Edward kissed her, "exquisite," he kissed her again, "amazing, Bella."

"Jealousy will get you nowhere," Bella reminded him. Edward looked at her with raised eyebrows. His eyes bore into hers. His powerful golden eyes penetrated every defense she had and seemed to lock onto her heart. Edward ripped her bra from her body and her breasts danced before him. He reached down and tugged on her panties before ripping them from her body. Bella didn't care that she was going to have to replace both articles of clothing. It was the hottest thing she had seen in a long time.

Edward licked her neck and kissed down her chest. Bella moaned softly as Edward's skilled tongue dipped in her. She twisted her hips and Edward chuckled against her. He held her hips still as he moved his tongue.

"Oh god, Edward!"

She was so sweet. Edward had almost forgotten just how wonderful she tasted. He had never forgotten the way she responded to his touch. One hand slipped from her waist to the side of her stomach, he smiled every time she gasped and her stomach sank sharply and rose again. He bit her lightly and Bella yelped then moaned.

"You're so responsive, so energetic."

"Oh god Edward please, I need you so badly."

"Do you?" Edward asked. He sat up and slowly undressed. He hovered over her. The tip of what Bella so desperately wanted was brushing against her thigh.

"Edward," Bella moaned and whined.

"Yes?"

"Good lord you've been working on your torture methods."

Edward paused. He smiled at her and touched his forehead against hers. "I'm just momentarily frozen."

"Why?" Bella asked, reaching up and touching his cheek.

"Because when I do this, it'll be amazing and then it will be over. I have you again, Bella. You're here, beneath me. I can feel your naked body against mine. I've dreamt of this moment for so long. I had forgotten how truly breathtaking you are having only seen a picture for months."

"Edward, don't break my heart," Bella whispered, "I want to take another chance on you."

"I love you Bella. I'll spend the rest of my life repaying you for this second chance."

"Can you start by having sex with me?" Bella asked. "You're kinda killing me here."

"Anything you wish my love," Edward said with a smile. He positioned himself against her opening. "Although..."

Bella glared at him and smiled before pushing him up and over. She slid down on him and her strong hands grasped Edward's chest. Edward chuckled. "Impatient as always."

"I haven't had decent sex in a long time," Bella panted, "Edward you are unbelievable."

Edward held her hips and helped her take the building pressure off of her knees. He moved his hips with hers, Bella's head fell back and her lips parted. A soft moan escaped her lips. Edward sat up quickly, grabbed her neck and pulled her down for a rough kiss. Bella caressed his face and he continued to move under her. He pushed his tongue into her mouth and pulled it out again. Bella both hated and loved when he did that. He sucked on her bottom lip and tugged lightly with his teeth. Bella tangled her hands in his hair.

"Edward," Bella moaned.

"Lets make them all wish they were you," Edward moaned. He held her lips tight and began thrusting into her so hard her human body would have crumbled.

"Edward," Bella moaned. "Oh god, oh, oh god."

"Scream it Bella," Edward groaned. Bella's hands tightened in his hair and her breath was coming out in pants.

"Edward! Oh god!"

She was so close. They were both moving at an inhuman speed. "Bella...Bella...my beautiful Bella..."

"Edward!"

As she came Bella fell against him and he fell back against the pillows. Her dark hair covered his neck and chest. The scent of her shampoo reached his nose and he groaned in delight. He held her tight against his body.

"I'll never let you go again," Edward promised. "I'll always be with you."

"You were right," Bella said against his neck.

"I usually am. What about now?"

"Jacob. I didn't love him. Not like I love you."

"I'm sorry that he had to be a rebound, but at least he's completely over you."

"Take me away, Edward," Bella sighed. "Please take me away."

--

"Does he have to have explosive sex so loudly?" Esme sighed. "I was having a nice peaceful morning and then I hear them waking the dead.

"Well," Carlisle said, twirling some of her hair around his finger, "why don't we show them how the adults play."

"One of these days you will have to realize that he is not a buddy he is your son and you are supposed to set an example for him and..." Esme cut off as she heard Bella moan in extreme pleasure again. "Those little brats. Strip. Now."

Carlisle grinned and eagerly obeyed.

--

When Edward and Bella arrived at Eppley Airport there was a cluster of children waiting for them. Bella didn't give them a second thought until all at once, all eleven of them ran at Edward. Riley jumped into his arms and gave him a big hug.

"Hey guys," Edward said. "Did everything go well?"

"Yeah, everything was great," Elaine said with a smile, holding Jessica the five-year-old on her hip.

"Hello, Jessica," Edward said to the little girl.

"Hewo Edward," Jessica mumbled.

"You're speaking to me!"

The girl smiled around her thumb and Elaine passed her to him. Edward walked over to Bella who looked very surprised.

"Bella, these are my children," Edward said.

"Ch-children?"

"Guys and girls, this is Bella Swan."

"Hi Bella," the kids chorused.

"What's going on, Edward?" Bella asked.

Edward smiled at her and took her hand. They all walked out to the two large vans that were waiting outside. The kids filed in, Elaine drove one and Edward drove the other. Bella wondered when Edward was going to answer her. They made it back to the large home. The kids ran into the house and to their separate activities and Bella turned to Edward.

"I found Riley in Montana and saved him from being killed by a vampire," Edward said. "We came here by just following the highways. We stayed in that hotel right there," Edward pointed across the street, "anyway I looked out and saw this building for sale and I had an idea."

"An orphanage?" Bella asked.

"Of sorts," Edward said, taking her bags. "All the children here were living in abusive homes and I simply give them a place to be happy."

"You created a safe haven for abused children?"

"Yeah," Edward muttered, feeling a little awkward. Bella wasn't reacting the way he expected she would. She was actually acting maturely. A part of him was waiting for her to yell at him for spending his time with children instead of her.

So he was pleasantly surprised when Bella stopped, cupped his face in her hands and kissed him. "Edward that is the sweetest thing I have ever heard," she said. "No wonder those kids love you so much!"

"So you aren't mad?" Edward asked.

"Absolutely not!" Bella cried. "Edward this is amazing."

"Lets get you settled in," Edward said turning towards the stairs. Bella followed him and turned into his bedroom. "We're going to have to expand soon. I'll have to let Carlisle know."

"So this is the secret Esme was trying to pry out of him."

"Was she successful?" Edward asked, putting their bags on his bed.

"Isn't she always?"

"Geez I knew she'd break him," Edward grumbled, "that man is a sucker for her."

"Tell me Edward can you keep things from me?" Bella asked, suddenly very close to him. Her hand brushed up his upper arm and shoulder before curling around his neck.

"You women are trouble," Edward sighed, "I believe you are truly the downfall of men."

"Perhaps," Bella said with a smile, pulling away and starting to unpack. Edward bit back and moan and sighed instead.

"Always such a tease."

Bella giggled.

"Edward! Come play with us!" Daniel said from the door. Riley was at his side and Lauren, one of the new girls was jumping behind them.

"Yeah! Come on Edward!" she cheered.

"Go on, I can handle things alone," Bella said.

"Alright, lets go," Edward said finally. The children cheered and Edward gave Bella a kiss on the cheek before running off after them.

Bella turned back to her bags and unpacked them. She unpacked Edward's bags too. She opened his underwear draw to put in freshly laundered and folded (Esme refused to let him return with dirty undies) underwear when she hesitated. At the bottom of the drawer was a picture. Bella picked it up and recognized it instantly as the one she had found in her book. Only Edward had folded this one. She opened it and found that he had scribbled himself out with a black pen. Underneath that one was another picture of her as a vampire. She didn't know that he was taking the picture so she was still reading in the photograph. The final picture was one of her stepping out of the shower. She remembered that one. She had caught on before he could snap a good picture of her but a towel was against her chest and she was bright red.

"Edward," she sighed. The final picture was one she had given him as a joke for their first anniversary where she was wearing only a lacy bra (borrowed from Alice) with his gold sheet over her naked thighs. She was turned slightly and gazing at the camera with a sexy pout.

Oh yes, she thought with a smile, he was certainly flustered after that one.

With a smile Bella tucked the pictures away and closed the drawer. She finished unpacking and looked around. The room was typical Edward. A double bed was in the corner and covered in a deep blue comforter. On the night stand there was a lamp, a clock and a framed picture of Bella in her wedding dress. No doubt Edward stole it from Esme or Alice. There was a large frame on the wall holding a collection of pictures. The first one was a picture of Edward with the boy Bella recognized as Riley and Elaine. The pictures continued, with more children in each one. They all looked so happy with Edward.

Smiling, Bella walked out of the room and down the stairs. She heard laughing coming from the other room. She followed it into the gym where Edward and his children were playing basketball. Edward was more running around with them than actually playing. Bella smiled when Edward swooped down and lifted a redheaded boy up to make a slam dunk. His team, each with a blue cloth hanging from their waist, cheered.

Edward looked over at Bella and smiled at her. "Come on Bells!"

"I think I'll just watch," Bella said.

"Aw, don't be scared," Edward said. "Guys Bella's scared."

"Geez Edward you're worse than they are," Bella sighed.

"If we promise to go easy on you will you play?" The redhead named Tyler asked from Edward's arms.

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease!" the children begged in unison.

"If you play Edward can be on only one side and you can be on the other," a blonde girl said.

"Well if you put it that way," Bella said with a smile. She walked over to the group.

"So which team wants who?" Edward asked. The two captains stepped forward. They did rock paper scissors to see who got to pick. Terra, a brunette girl around eleven won. She turned towards her team.

"Edward is a good player," one said.

"But he goes completely gaga eyed whenever she is near him," another reminded her.

"You do have a point," Terra sighed.

"She'll probably be like all girls and play dirty," A boy said.

"Not all girls play dirty Evan," Terra snapped.

"Now, now," Edward said. "Please choose."

"I think it is to our advantage to go with Bella," Terra said.

"Thanks a ton guys," Edward sighed. Bella was welcomed to the blue team with a blue cloth.

The blue team ended up winning by ten points because Edward couldn't keep his eyes off of Bella.

--

"I declare cheating," Edward said that night as Bella came back from taking a shower.

"Oh don't be such a sore loser," Bella sighed. She dropped her towel and went over to Edward's dresser. Edward watched her with confusion as she sifted through his drawers until she found something. She pulled a t-shirt with Forks High stamped on the chest over her head and borrowed-with-no-intetion-of-returning a pair of sweatpants. She went to the bed and sat down as if nothing had happened.

"So when do I get to take your shirts?" Edward asked, tugging on the sleeve.

"When you can fit in them and look nearly as hot as I do."

"And this is when I decide to cut the time you spend with Roselie in half."

"Admit it," Bella said with a shrug, "I look great."

"Always," Edward said, leaning over and kissing her cheek.

"Besides," Bella added, "I love your scent."

Edward didn't have an answer. All he could do was watch her crawl under the covers and smile at him. Edward shook his head and sighed. He crawled under the covers with her and kissed her forehead.

"So you always pretend to sleep?"

"Yes," Edward said. "Some of the younger ones have nightmares and sleep in here."

"How sweet," Bella said quietly.

"So, what do you think?"

"I think that if we were human I'd be demanding you give me a baby," Bella said. "You're a natural parent."

"I love those kids so much," Edward said, "Elaine told me once that I've made such an impact on all of them."

"Of course you have! Edward, you're showing kindness to children who probably rarely saw it. You're like Carlisle is to you. What's wrong?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Edward asked.

"Nope."

"Riley is the only one who knows what we are. He's special, Bella, he can see people's true selves. He knows what I am because he watched me chase away the vampire that killed his family. He won't find it odd that we won't age. But the others..."

"You'll have to leave sometime," Bella finished quietly. Edward looked deeply upset by that.

"When I started this I didn't think it through. I didn't think about what will happen ten years from now when I should be, physically, thirty and I'm still seventeen. They think I'm in my early twenties. I have been thinking about it a lot lately."

"And?" Bella asked.

"Pass the torch," Edward said with a sigh. "Train people to run this place like I do and then...disappear. I'll fake my death or something."

Bella sighed. "I love you, sweetie, but I don't want to be anywhere near you on that day. I hate seeing you cry."

"Well the flood gates will burst," Edward warned her. His eyes already had a little more sparkle in them. He was trying not to tear up right there.

"I'm just glad that you found what you were searching for," Bella said softly.

"With you here, Bella I have everything I ever needed. I have a purpose. I know now, fully, that I was born for a reason. But most of all, I have you. I was so afraid that my one mistake would cost me everything I most cherished."

"You would always have your family."

"I know," Edward sighed. "But I began losing them too. My sisters were mad at me, my brothers were mad at me because the girls were mad a them, and Carlisle...well he supported me through everything."

"Edward, you were never going to lose any of us. I would have eventually forgiven you and gotten over you if Jacob hadn't...well..."

"Liar," Edward called with a crooked smile. "You would have never gotten over me."

"Maybe, maybe not."

"Maria is a wonderful girl," Edward said, "she and Jacob have childhood history and they are truly in love."

"I know," Bella sighed, "it's just being dumped...again when I was still vulnerable. I told him from the beginning that it was a rebound but I did have feelings for him."

"I know," Edward said, "and I respect that. I owe him a great debt for taking care of you when I couldn't. I had no right to fight with you over your affections for him."

Bella was about to say something when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," Edward said.

It was Riley. He had tears drying on his cheeks and red eyes. "Edward he's gonna get me," Riley sniffed.

Edward smiled and pulled the covers back. Riley ran across the room and jumped into the bed. Edward tucked him in and kissed his forehead. "Tell me about it," Edward said.

"I was sleeping, and he came out of the shadows. He killed Katie and he said he was going to kill me. He killed you too, Edward. I was alone and scared and I didn't know what to do!"

Edward hugged Riley gently. "Hey, kiddo, don't get down. Nobody is going to kill me. And nobody is going to hurt you while I'm here."

"Promise?" Riley asked, sniffing. Edward nodded. Riley cuddled into Edward's stone chest and balled his fist. "Thank you for saving me, Edward."

Edward petted Riley's hair gently. Edward hummed a lullaby. The same one his mother sang. When he finished he felt a pair of cool lips on his forehead. He felt Riley shift and his little hand fell against Bella's. He was asleep within moments and remained still and peaceful for about an hour.

"Mama?" he asked groggily looking at Bella.

Gently, Bella stood up and scooped the boy into her arms. Riley was like a rag doll in her arms, too tired to move. He did, however hold lightly around her neck and rest his chin on her shoulder. Bella walked into his bedroom, stepping over his toys. She set him down lightly on his bed and tucked him in. She kissed his forehead lightly and smiled.

"Bella, dun leave. You make him happy," Riley mumbled sleepily.

"Do you want me to stay?"

"Very much. You remind me of mama."

"Well then I'll stay," Bella said, kissing Riley again on the forehead and smoothing his sheets. She cracked the window when he said he was hot and then left silently.

Edward was leaving one of the other rooms, having calmed another child down when she came into the hall.

"Is he asleep?" Edward asked.

"Like a baby," Bella answered. "So," she said taking his hand, "that's the third little boy to say that you are so much happier with me here."

"Word travels fast," Edward said in a would be casual voice. "Sometimes it feels like playing house."

"So does that make me the mommy?"

"If you marry me, yes."

"Alright, Cullen, say I do marry you. What's in it for me? I mean I'm already a vampire and I've already had you."

Edward shook his head and laughed. "I so knew you would flake out on me if I had sex with you before we got married."

"What will you do now?"

"I suppose I'll just not kiss you again until we get married."

"Yeah, let's see how well that goes," Bella laughed. "It didn't work for Carlisle and he has better control than you do."

"Damn," Edward muttered.

Bella tangled her fingers in his and pecked him lightly on the cheek. "I'm sure you can think of a way to get what you want."

Edward stopped. He took her hands in his and lowered himself to one knee. Even though he had done it before, the gesture made Bella's body tingle the memory of her heart racing sent phantom sensations in her chest.

"Bella, I love you. I don't deserve you by any means and yet here I am," Edward's voice was shaking gently. His eyes, dark gold and so deep, were holding hers effortlessly. "Bella I can't live without you. Your happiness is always my desire, and yet I have failed you so many times. But all the same, I want to live with you and love you forever. Bella, will you marry me?"

Bella was suddenly very aware of twelve pairs of eyes on her. Somehow, the children had all woken up and they were all peeping from their rooms. But she didn't care. She looked at Edward. He was everything she had ever wanted. He had hurt her so badly and yet, here she was. Funny how fate works, she thought.

"Yes," she said finally, "yes, Edward I will."

Edward stood quickly and pulled her tight into his arms. He spun her around and kissed her among the cheers of his children. "Just make sure you show up this time," Bella whispered in the middle of the embrace.

"I will," Edward promised. "If I don't you can send Emmett after me with an axe."

"Oh that'll just slow him down," Bella laughed. She touched his face and brushed his hair away from his forehead. "Edward, why does it always keep coming back to us?"

"Because we are meant for each other."

"Don't make me regret this."

"Never in a million years."

--

Fall was one of Bella's favorite times of the year. The golden leaves falling all around them was breathtaking. She walked along the path near the water of the outdoor mall, wondering why it was called a mall and not a park. Edward was beside her, holding hands with her and little Jessica. Elaine was up ahead playing with Riley and Daniel and Robbie was watching her with stars in his eyes.

Bella was pushing a stroller with a baby girl inside. The girl's mother showed up one day and left him there. They named her Elizabeth Esme Cullen and Bella adopted her right away. Their story was Bella had been injured as a child and couldn't have children. It also worked as a scare tactic and kept Lindsay and Terra from scaling the gym walls.

The children got excited when they reached the large slides and, while Bella found a place for them all to sit on the stone steps, Edward handed each of the children a piece of wax paper to slide on. "Be careful!" He called after them.

"Edward, I scared," Tyler, who was only four, said tugging on Edward's pant leg.

"Well should I slide with you?"

Tyler nodded and Edward picked him up. They climbed the stairs between the two slides and waited in the small line. Edward put down a piece of wax paper and sat on it.

"Hold on tight," Edward said. Tyler obeyed. He pushed off gently and slid down, and Tyler squeaked when they hit the hump. He was giggling at the end and Edward smiled at him.

"Edward! Move or we'll hit you!"

Edward jumped up as the twins, Mary and Martin, slid down together. He looked over and saw Bella giggling. He sent Tyler on his way and walked over to her.

"Something funny?"

"Just watching you," Bella said. "Those kids have you wrapped around their fingers."

"Damn you're right," Edward sighed. He reached out and pulled Bella to her feet. "Come on, you're next!"

"What!"

Edward laughed and pulled her to the top of the slide and sat down with her on his lap. "Hold on tight," he whispered, wrapping his arms around her middle. He pushed off and Bella laughed as they flew up slightly in the middle. They skidded to a halt and Bella was laughing. She moved off and waited at the bottom when Tyler went on his own. She caught him as he slid down and smiled at his happy giggles.

Bella returned to Elizabeth and picked her up. She giggled and her green eyes sparkled. Bella sat on the stone step and took a bottle from the diaper bag. She fed Elizabeth while watching them. The baby could hold the bottle weakly on her own and Bella enjoyed watching her do so. She braced it lightly with her fingers while her free hand rested lightly underneath her.

"Bella! Bella!"

Maureen and Jessica ran up to her. "We got you flowers."

"Oh how lovely," Bella said, taking the bright yellow dandelions from them. "Thank you girls."

They ran off and fell back into their games. "So," Edward said from beside her, making her jump. "Do you think they're having fun?"

"I'd say they are."

"Aw they got you flowers," Edward said picking one up. He took her arm and held it out. "Mommy goes down the stairs," he said softly, dragging the yellow blossom along her arm, "daddy goes down the stairs, sister goes down the stairs, and baby," he pressed against her skin, "pees down the stairs."

"I can't believe you did that!" Bella cried as Edward finished making the yellow line down her arm. "How old are you! Really!"

Edward was on his back laughing.

"If I didn't have a baby in my arms you would so get it!"

"Good thing you have a baby in your arms then," Edward said with a grin.

Elizabeth threw her bottle at him and Bella laughed. "Oh! Elizabeth! Mommy loves you so much! Thank you for that!"

Edward wiped the formula splatter from his forehead. "Really nice baby," he said taking Elizabeth. "You like hitting daddy with your bottle?" he asked pretending to be angry. He wasn't fooling anyone with the smile on his face.

Elizabeth giggled and babbled, waving her arms at him. She grabbed a big of his hair and tugged. "No, no sweetheart, don't. Ow!"

Bella reached over and tugged on one of his curls and laughed when he glared at her. Elizabeth giggled and tugged again, so Bella tugged again.

"You guys are terrible!"

"We hurt you because we love you," Bella reminded him with a gentle kiss.

"I suppose I can forgive you," Edward sighed.

"Dada," Elizabeth babbled. "Dada!"

"Edward, sweetheart, are you crying?"

"No, I just have dust in my eye," Edward said. He hugged Elizabeth tight. "She said dada."

"She said mama last week, honey, and you cried then."

"I had flour in my eyes!"

"Mmmhmm."

--

A few days later there was a white envelope in the mail. Bella picked up a thick envelope and opened it. It was a wedding invitation. Bella turned it over, expecting to see Alice and Jasper or Carlisle and Esme. She was surprised when she saw the names Jacob and Maria.

"Edward, we've been invited to Jacob's wedding."

"Do you want to go?" Edward asked, setting Elizabeth in her high chair and starting dinner.

"If you want to."

"Celebrate the dog getting married?"

"I thought you were fond of Maria."

"..."

Bella rolled her eyes and sat beside Elizabeth, "your daddy is getting weirder by the day isn't he?"

"Am not! Elizabeth defend me!"

"Dada cazy!"

"You are no help at all!"

Bella laughed and kissed Elizabeth's forehead. She walked up to Edward and slid her arms around his waist. "Alice called me today," she said, "she wants to plan our wedding."

"As long as it's here, I have no qualms about it."

"You aren't going to promise vegas again?"

"Nope. Besides, you look too good in a wedding dress."

Bella kissed his back and sighed. The phone rang and she pulled away. "Hello? Yes? Oh my god! Yes, we're on our way."

"What is it?" Edward asked.

"Riley's in the hospital!"

Edward turned everything off and left quickly. Bella took Elizabeth from her high chair. "Elaine!"

"Yeah?"

"Where is Jenna?"

"She won't be here for another half hour. She had an exam to make up after class. Why?"

"Riley is in the hospital, we need to go."

As if they were summoned, the children all came. "How do you guys do that?" Edward muttered.

"We're coming with you," Robbie said. "He's our brother."

Edward sighed. "Alright, come on."

--

Riley had been hit by a car. He was laying in the hospital bed still out of it. Edward sat on his bedside and refused to leave until he woke up. It was midnight and Bella had taken the children home. Jenna, the extra nanny, was going to be working overtime with Elaine and Robbie's help.

"Edward?"

"He hasn't woken up yet," Edward said, brushing Riley's bangs from his forehead. "Bella..."

"He'll wake up," Bella promised. "The doctors said he had a nasty blow to the head but he should recover."

"What do doctors know?"

"More than you'd think."

Edward jumped at the familiar voice. He turned and saw Carlisle. He stood up quickly and Carlisle pulled him into a tight hug. "It'll be okay," Carlisle promised.

"How did you guys know?" Edward asked.

"Bella called," Esme said from behind her husband.

"You guys didn't have to come all the way out here."

"Nonsense," Carlisle said, brushing Edward's words aside with a shake of his head. "We're family."

"He hasn't woken up yet," Edward said.

Carlisle moved towards the little boy. He was in doctor mode. His eyes were serious and focused. His fingers brushed Riley's forehead. "He's burning up."

"What?"

"Did he have surgery?"

"Um...yes...yes, they had to put stitches in his head," Edward said. "Is it a reaction?"

Carlisle opened one of Riley's eyes.

"No, an infection. Get his doctor in here."

Edward left instantly and returned moments later with the doctor.

"Hello I'm Dr. Miller, what seems to be going on here?"

"You missed a spot," Carlisle said, "this boy has an infection around his stitches."

"Oh does he," Miller said dryly. "And what qualifies you to make that assessment?"

"I'm a doctor. Carlisle Cullen, I'm the chief of medicine at the Forks General Hospital."

Edward heard Miller's thoughts. He knew Forks was a small town and he was wondering if it was really that difficult to become chief of medicine there. But to humor Carlisle, he went over and examined the wound.

"Everything looks fine..."

"Tell that to his burning fever and dilated pupils. Now I suggest you get that boy into treatment because if anything happens I will come at you with every lawsuit I can find and believe me, I know my way around all of your protection."

Edward was in awe over Carlisle. Dr. Miller rolled his eyes.

"Keep up that attitude by all means, just keep testing my patience," Carlisle growled. "Now I am a very patient man but at the end of that very long fuse I am an explosion and you will feel it if you don't get going right now!"

Doctor Miller left the room quickly. Edward turned to his father.

"You are so awesome," he breathed. Carlisle smiled and patted his head.

"Sweetie, maybe you should remember that he's a human and he can't smell the infection," Esme reminded him.

"He gave me lip," Carlisle defended, "I've been doing this for centuries. I don't need that little upstarts attitude. Doctors need to be perceptive. He should be monitoring this boys temperature and vitals, not ship him off as perfectly fine. I hate incompetence, Esme."

"Don't worry, Carlisle, you come from Forks so he already assumes that you have no skills."

"Well we'll see my so called lack of skills when I'm right and Riley is saved because of it."

"So humble," Esme sighed.

"Always."

"Will he be okay, Carlisle?"

"If they move their feet he will," Carlisle growled.

Edward could read what this was about. Carlisle wanted to be in there. He wanted to be controlling the procedure that would kill the infection. He didn't want the power trip, he wanted to do more than bark orders at incompetent doctors and wait.

Edward put his hand on his shoulder. "It's okay. You don't have to play super doctor all the time."

"It's been fifteen minutes," Carlisle growled.

Bella and Esme sat in the chairs and sighed. Their men were impossible when they were worried.

Carlisle growled and went to Riley's bed. He picked the boy up, kicking the machine that beeped at him. Riley was hotter. His breath was thinning.

"Where are you going?"

"Treatment," Carlisle growled. He was beyond angry. He carried Riley down the hall and up to the OR.

"The infection is spreading and if you don't look at him he'll die," he told the chief surgical resident.

"Who are you?"

"Doctor Carlisle Cullen, I am chief of medicine of Forks General Hospital."

"The Carlisle Cullen? You spoke at the conference in Chicago a few years ago."

"Yes," Carlisle sighed, "this boy has an infection and is getting sicker and sicker. Now do something about it."

"Right away."

The man carried Riley into the OR. Edward and the others made it up shortly after. "You're going to get so busted for this."

"Son one of these days you'll know the beauty of bribery."

"What are you doing up here?"

It was Dr. Miller. Only this time instead of one pair of angry gold eyes, he met four.

"I didn't authorize surgery on..."

"Listen to me you little speck," Carlisle began.

"Carlisle, stop. Threatening him will get you nothing but a lawsuit."

"He doesn't have the guts," Carlisle growled.

Bella and Edward pulled away from the mess and peered into the room. Bella rested her head on Edward's chest. "He's so small."

"I know," Edward whispered.

Carlisle had been right about the infection. Edward knew that he was worried and one step away from putting on a cap and gown and going in there himself. Blood had begun to pool in Riley's head and he would have died if Carlisle hadn't caught it.

Edward realized this fact by reading the minds of the doctors. His eyes burned with tears and he turned to Carlisle.

"Thank you," he sobbed. "Thank you dad."

Carlisle stroked Edward's hair and kissed his head. "It's going to be alright now."

Riley was back in recovery by dawn and awake by noon. He smiled weakly at Edward and Bella. He thanked Carlisle for saving him. When he was well enough, Edward gave him a speech about the dangers of playing near the street and Riley promised he would be more careful.

"I think you gave Bella a heart attack," Edward told him when Bella was away getting a get well soon balloon with Esme.

"I didn't mean to!" Riley cried, stopping when it hurt.

"She was very worried. She loves you very much."

"I love her too," Riley said. "Can you guys get married now and become mommy and daddy?"

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," Bella said, walking in. Riley smiled at the balloon and Bella tied it to his bed.

A few days later Riley was released and Carlisle thanked the doctor with a smile. Edward carried his son out of the building and into his volvo. He made it home and he was more than delighted to find that his brothers and sisters were helping take care of all the children.

He was also delighted to find that all the boys absolutely adored Emmett. Roselie was sitting with Elaine and Rachel, showing them how to use makeup and Alice was styling Terra's hair into spikes.

"Gang's all here," Edward sighed.

"Well they wanted to help out. Besides, it's good to get them out of the house."

"Well," Bella said, "while you're all here would you guys mind attending a wedding?"

"I suppose we can squeeze it in," Carlisle said, patting her head. "You going to show up this time, Edward?"

"You going to let me live that down, Carlisle?"

"Never."

"Yes, I'm going to show up," Edward moaned.

--

Bella looked stunning. Edward forgot to breathe when he saw her walking towards her. The music Alice had chosen was perfect.

_And I saw,_

_pictures in my head_

_But I swear I saw you opening up again_

_Cause I would be heavenly if_

_Baby you'd just rescue me now_

Bella slid her hand into his. Edward smiled brightly at her. "I'm glad you came," Bella whispered.

"I'm glad you waited."

Edward didn't hear a word the minister was saying. His eyes traveled down her beautiful face and her beautiful dress. Strapless and light. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever set eyes on.

"Do you, Edward Cullen, take this woman to..."

"Forever," Edward said. "I do."

Bella didn't wait for the man to finish speaking. The moment he said man and wife she fell into her husband's arms and kissed him. The children cheered and their family clapped. Alice started sobbing and Roselie passed her a tissue. Jacob whooped with his arm around Maria and Izzy bouncing in his lap. Emmett and Jasper tossed rose petals into the air and they blew in the wind. Charlie started to cry and Renee cheered.

"I love you, Bella Cullen."

"Never let me go, Edward," Bella whispered against his lips.

"Never again."

The End

It's finally over! Edward and Bella are married and everyone is happy! Yay! Now to devote my free time to my other story. Yay for shameless story promotion!


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